


This is Gospel

by TheAdventures_of_Me



Series: The Light that comes with Dark [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Plots and Planning, Romance, Slow Burn, Tony is actually trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 06:54:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 79,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAdventures_of_Me/pseuds/TheAdventures_of_Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all the things Tony thought he'd be doing after the Chitauri invasion, hiding an escaped homicidal god in the equivalent of his bedroom was not one of them. Surprisingly, Loki feels pretty much the same. Accidents and magic have led his path to Tony's, and dealing with that is one of the hardest and most amazing things either of them have ever done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. For the Fallen Ones

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's so wonderful to be posting a new story! Here is some general context for this fic:
> 
> I will be ignoring certain canon aspects. For example, the ending of Iron Man 3 (Tony still has the arc reactor, which is important for my story), and also I am pretending Thor 2 never happened (not that I didn’t like it or anything, but it doesn’t work for the purposes of this story).
> 
> Also, I apologize in advance, but I will be uploading chapter by chapter for the first time ever! Usually I wait until I've written the whole thing and then put it all up in one go, but I feel like trying it this way. I will be doing my best to update on a weekly basis, but please don't be too upset if a couple chapters end up late. I am a university student, and time is not always on my side. 
> 
> So yeah, that's pretty much it. I hope you enjoy the story!

“Return him to his cell.” The guards obey, lifting Loki’s limp form off the table. He sags in their grip and his blood drips to the ground. They carry him out wordlessly under the Allfather’s watchful eye. He does not accompany them, nor does he need to. Loki is bound both in magic and chains, his magic dampened so thoroughly that it can barely heal the wounds inside him, let alone leave the barrier of his skin. The chamber Odin questions him is built with layers upon layers of powerful binding spells. Only Odin may use magic in that room, and even then sparingly. As they leave the room Loki’s manacles spark. They are engraved with runes of binding and protection, containing his magic. They restrain Loki as well, but he is broken and bleeding. He is no threat now, the god of mischief brought low.

The further away they walk from the chamber, the more Loki becomes something of a light show. The guards are not alarmed; it has become the usual for them. Loki’s cuts and injuries flicker strangely; his magic desperately trying to heal him, but it cannot, bound as it is. So, the result: a strange half glow keeping his blood from spilling but unable to knit the flesh together again. Such is the nature of his bonds. The god is silent. Nothing can be heard from him but labored breathing that he tries to control. He is silent, and he waits. The guards are too foolish to be wary, and so when Loki stops glowing they think nothing of it. They think Loki is too broken to fight back. They are correct, but at the same time they are so gloriously wrong.

Loki ignores the fact that without his magic his wounds begin gushing blood. A necessary sacrifice if his plan is to work. It should work. He’s spent months studying the runes on his manacles. He’s pushed his magic against his bindings in every way possible. Loki intimately knows the inner workings and strengths of the binding spell. He knows of its very few weaknesses, the slight imperfections that could become cracks if he pushes hard enough. It has to be now. The spells on his cell have no weaknesses. The light of his magic is snuffed out the minute he’s placed within its walls, where it could not even flicker feebly.

Loki gathers his strength and pushes. The guards give no notice as his body tenses. They take no notice as sweat drips from him, mingling with his blood. They take no notice until he screams. He expected pain, but not so soon. The bindings are already trying to force his magic back within him, and it feels as if it is acid. The pain is unimaginable, but not completely unexpected. The runes on his manacle begin to glow with a fiery cast as his magic pushes outward. He hadn’t meant to scream, but it soon became apparent that screaming is unavoidable. Loki screams louder, pouring more of his energy into the assault. The resulting pain is nearly enough to break his concentration. Nearly.

Even in his current state, Loki admires the spells used to bind him. They are meant to block his use of any spells, no matter the kind. That’s why he’s decided not to use any spells at all. Shoving raw power at a crack lacks his usual finesse, but it will do. After he has escaped, after he has regained his strength, Loki decides that he will orchestrate a special death for whoever created his bindings, as a token of his gratitude.

Slowly, he begins to feel the flaws in the spell crack. The guards have stopped moving now, the imbeciles finally having noticed something was wrong when he began to scream. Now, their pleasant routine disrupted, they are in a disarray. They have become far too complacent. One runs back from where they’d come from, no doubt to call for a magic user. Idiots. Loki would have made sure there was one present from the start. Despite their incompetence, Loki doubles his efforts. He is taking too long, and, at this rate, by the time he’d actually manage to break his bindings they would already have him back in his cell, broken, bleeding, humiliated, and doubly watched. Loki realizes what he must do, and the thought appalls him, but it is necessary. A means to an end.

Swiftly, before he can think better of it, Loki concentrates every single drop of his magic into breaking the spells. His screams stop, but his mouth remains open in soundless agony. Bones that had been held together by magic break, half healed wounds rip open again, the pain that had been dulled by magic suddenly roars, agonizing in its severity. The runes cut into his manacles begin to smoke. The guards are still holding him up, but he is dangling now, he doesn’t have enough bones intact to provide any sort of structure. The pain surpasses unimaginable, but Loki has had worse, and so he pushes on. Bit by bit his magic leaves him, consumed by the bindings like twigs in a fire, until there is but a small amount left, and this Loki lets go even more reluctantly.

The guards, who had been yelling at each other, fall silent as Loki’s body grows colder. It is his blood that changes color first, turning from bright red to a dark, sluggish purple. His skin turns a vivid blue, the color creeping up his skin like inky tendrils. His eyes change last, becoming as red as his blood had been. Scar-like ridges rise along his face, chest and arms, telling a biological story that has long been forgotten. For a split second, silence spreads throughout the guards, a silence akin to the calm before a storm. The only thing to be heard is Loki’s labored breathing. The silence is broken when thundering footsteps approach from farther down the hall. Loki’s manacles are smoking heavily, the runes glowing like embers.

Loki’s transformation is complete, and the airs cools around him. The blood he had shed before changing freezes on his skin. Disgust and surprise flit across the guards’ faces, and they drop Loki before they back away. He never hits the ground.

Thor rounds the corner in time to catch a glimpse of Loki before he disappears. His eyes widen and he falters momentarily. Thor has never seen Loki in his Jotun form before. The guards kick up a fuss; more about Loki’s being a frost giant than Loki escaping. Accusations and insults are tossed around, some even towards the royal family. Loki’s true heritage was not public knowledge. Thor ignores them, staring at the pool of blood on the floor. Dark purple mingles with bright red in alarming quantities. Thor is a warrior, and the amount of blood chills him. That much blood, even for an Asgardian, usually means death. He has to warn Midgard, whether or not Loki even survives long enough to get somewhere. He thinks of the friends he’s made and winces. They will not be happy.

 

Thor is brought out of his reverie when Odin runs up. The Allfather’s expression darkens as he looks over the situation. Thor’s face turns into a scowl as well, eyes narrowing. Loki was supposed to be in his cell, but he was not. His brother was supposed to be safely contained until he could be reasoned with, but he was not. He was being paraded through the halls, broken and bleeding. Fresh from torture. Thor says nothing; his thoughts are clear enough on his face. Odin notices. He offers no explanation. He only lifts his chin, gaze challenging, as if daring Thor to question him. Thunder cracks, loud enough that it shakes the floors, and for the first time in his life, Thor turns his back on Odin and walks away. He hears Odin call after him, but does not stop. He has preparations to make before he goes to Midgard.

 *****

The elevator doors close behind the last of Pepper’s things. And the mover, but Tony doesn’t care about him. Well, he doesn’t care about him beyond the fact that Pepper sent a mover, a _mover,_ to come and collect her things. Things had gone to shit between them. He wanders through the penthouse noticing everything that’s missing and he hates it. Of course, it isn’t much, just little things here and there. Pepper kept her own apartment throughout the whole thing, and Tony should have known better. He doesn’t even want to go into the bedroom, considering that’s where she kept everything. Tony sighs and heads for the bar, reaching for his favorite bottle of scotch. She’s finally had enough. Briefly he considers a glass but then decides to fuck it. He takes a swig straight from the bottle.

Pepper has finally had enough. He knew it was coming. Hell, he would’ve been shocked if it hadn’t happened. Their relationship has been steadily falling apart since the Chitauri invasion. Tony thought he could save it. He wanted to save it, wanted to do something so it wouldn’t fall apart. Pepper was one of the best things that had ever happened to him, and Tony was not going to just sit back and let things break. So he suggested they leave New York for a bit and go back to Malibu to try and get back to normal, or at least, as normal as they had been before aliens invaded New York. Before worked for them. Tony takes another gulp of scotch; the liquid burns down his throat. Malibu may have been exactly what they didn’t need.

Tony thought they just needed some time alone to sort things out. No avengers business (unless strictly necessary) and no Iron Man business (ditto). Just the two of them, with Tony trying to be what Pepper deserved, no outside influences. He had thought that was exactly what they needed. He hadn’t factored in the dreams. He hadn’t even considered that he—Tony goddamn Stark—would have _panic attacks._ No, he hadn’t considered that at all, and even if he had, Tony thought that Pepper would at least… at least _try_ and help him. Not that he’d ask, but if Pepper woke up screaming or couldn’t go to sleep at all, Tony likes to think that he’d do his best to help her, in his own ways. It had burned in so many ways when Tony realized that not only was his mind torturing him, but he couldn’t even protect Pepper while it was happening.

He also hadn’t thought that they’d be attacked. Then again, he should’ve expected that they’d blow up his house, he gave them his address for Christ’s sake, but hey, he didn’t think they’d actually do it. He never thought they’d go after Pepper, but who ever expected terrorists to have access to biotechnology like that? But go after Pepper they did, and what a clusterfuck that turned out to be. The worst part is that after he’d saved her, after he’d fixed the time bomb they’d made out of her, Tony thought they would be fine. He actually honestly thought that they would be fine. They’d made it through that much, what were a little relationship troubles then? He thought that surely they could work it out. Laughing almost hysterically, Tony plops down on his stupid designer sofa. Boy had he ever been wrong.

“Jarvis, shut down all communications for a bit.”

“Including summons for the Avengers, sir?”

Tony sighs. He forgot about that. “Right… Everything but that.”

“Very well, sir,” the AI responds. “Though in light of that, might I suggest that you avoid alcohol in case you’re—”

“Nope, not a chance. Mute.”

Silence spreads throughout and Tony decides that he likes it, for now. He stands up and goes to the bar, grabs a second bottle of scotch (the first one is already nearly half empty) and heads down to his workshop. In his experience, copious amounts of alcohol and explosives are a disastrous mix, so Tony decides to work on his cars. Also in his experience, copious amounts of alcohol, deafeningly loud music and mechanics are pretty effective for blocking out the world. Engines aren’t nearly as combustible as repulsors, so Tony gets to work. Even while drunk he’s a genius, so he figures nothing can go wrong.

But cars are boring. They’ve been boring ever since he created something so much more fun to work on, something that distracts him completely, something that even he needs total concentration for. His cars bore him, so he starts working on new suit upgrades. He still has a couple, the ones that weren’t at Malibu are still intact (left out for Avenger’s emergencies, because as much as he loved Pepper he really couldn’t just abandon his team). A new, upgraded suit is exactly what he needs. Tony dives into the work and time flies past. Soon he’s taking apart one of the gauntlets, trying to tweak the repulsor. He needed some adjustments for his upgrade to work successfully. He’s startled out of his work when Steve starts banging on the door. Absently, he notices that Jarvis must have shut his music off and he wonders why he hadn’t told him Steve was at the door and oh yeah, Tony muted him. He tries to get up to go to the door, but now that his concentration is broken he nearly falls over. He realizes that his vision has gone funny, all blurry and tunnel-ey. Tony looks at his scotch bottles. The first is empty and the second is pretty close to being empty.

“Jarvis, open the door,” he slurs, and shit he must be drunk if he’s slurring. Still, he’s kind of proud of himself. A full bottle of scotch usually guarantees a blackout, and he’s nearly finished two. Steve is less pleased. Through the haze, Tony realizes that the room is swaying. He’s momentarily confused, because that’s not good, they’re on the sixth floor of a tower, but then quickly realized that it’s him that’s swaying. Steve says something, but Tony doesn’t quite catch it. He giggles at Steve’s concerned parent face. He wears it so well, it looks like he’s a mom or something. Steve frowns and Tony wonders whether or not he actually said that out loud.

“When did you come down here?”

Tony frowns. He doesn’t really know. “What time is it?”

“It’s nearly two.”

“In the morning? Why are you up?” Had he really been down here all night? It only felt like a couple of hours.

“Two in the afternoon.”

“Oh.”

Steve’s expression goes from concerned to outright worried. “Tony, how long have you been down here?”

Tony shrugs. “Since yesterday, maybe?” He grabs the remaining bottle of scotch. Yesterday was a bad day, he doesn’t want to think about yesterday. Before he can drink it, though, Steve takes it from him.

“How much have you been drinking?”

Tony grins, reaching for the first bottle. It’s empty and he shows Steve. “Almost two.” Steve pales and Tony grins wider. “Usually pass out by now. Guess it’s ‘cause I’m not moving much?” Steve doesn’t respond. He just picks Tony up and carries him to the elevator. The lights and machinery in Tony’s workshop shut down as Steve drags him away. “Hey, capsicle, put me down!” Steve’s carrying him in a lame princess hold, one arm under his knees and the other across his back. Tony’s no princess, and he makes that very clear. Steve ignores him and the elevator ride is unpleasant, to say the least. The world is lurching and spinning around Tony, and he hopes he doesn’t throw up on Steve because that would be beyond embarrassing. He blacks out before the elevator even reaches his floor.

Steve carefully puts him in his bed, pausing to check his breathing. “Um… Jarvis? You there?”

“I am always here, Captain Rogers,” the AI responds crisply, sounding vaguely patronizing. Steve’s face reddens and he glances around the room, looking in vain for the source of the voice.

“Can you watch him? Call one of us if something happens?”

“By something, do you mean any dangerous changes in Sir’s vitals?”

“Yes… um… yes.” Once again, Steve glances around. No matter how often he hears Jarvis, Steve is still uncomfortable with bodiless electronic voices.

“I will alert you if anything arises, Captain Rogers.” Steve nods and then stutters out a quick thank you, because he really isn’t sure what signals Jarvis recognizes and what he doesn’t (despite the many times Tony’s assured him that Jarvis understands _everything_ ) and retreats from the room.

Luckily, nothing happens, and though Steve checks in several times, Tony sleeps peacefully. However, any illusions of peace shatter when Tony wakes up. If he’d ever had a worse hangover he can’t remember at the moment. There are two things he needs: coffee and more scotch. Or whisky, depending on what he’s got. And maybe an aspirin. Three things, then. He staggers to the bathroom, brushes his teeth, flinches at the thought of a shower, locates the aspirin, and is in too much pain to notice everything that isn’t there. That finished, he shuffles towards the bar. Tony was thinking of skipping the coffee and grabbing a bottle of whatever before heading back to his room, but what he sees brings him up short. The bar is empty. There is not a single bottle left, not a drop of alcohol. Even the shitty coolers he bought for when Bruce felt like joining in are gone.

“What the fuck? Jarvis?”

“Captain Rogers emptied this bar, as well as the one on the common floor, after depositing you in your room, sir.”

“Son of a bitch.” Tony grimaces and heads down to the common floor. Steve is already in the kitchen and the wonderful smell of coffee greets Tony as he walks in. Steve notices when he enters and goes to stand in front of the coffee machine, clearly blocking Tony from accessing it. Tony does his best to glare, but his head is pounding and so he knows he looks more pained than angry. “C’mon, Cap. Give me the coffee, I’m not in the mood.” Other than raising an eyebrow, Steve doesn’t move. Tony’s limited patience crumbles after about three seconds. He’s in no mood for a stare-down with Captain America.  He tries to walk around Steve, but the super-soldier pushes him into a chair. The abrupt movement is almost enough to make Tony throw up.  His smart-ass retort is lost in his effort to control his stomach.

Steve slams a glass of water down in front of Tony who flinches. The sound drives a spike of pain into his skull, but Steve in unsympathetic. He waits until Tony finishes the entire glass and then makes him drink another. Tony is tempted to leave, but he’s far from his best and he has a feeling Steve would be difficult to deal with even if he was wearing the suit. Second glass done, Steve finally gives him the coffee, black as pitch, just like he wants it. He sighs gratefully and gulps the scalding liquid. The mug is empty in a matter of seconds and Steve patiently refills it. He waits until Tony takes a few more sips before he speaks.

“What were you thinking, Tony?” Tony doesn’t comment. “There’s no excuse for that kind of behavior! What if we’d been called out while you were unconscious? Natasha and Clint are off with S.H.E.I.L.D. and Thor is completely unavailable. You put innocent lives at risk!”

Tony’s gaze snaps up from his coffee cup. “What about me, huh? Or is there no ‘me’ in your star-spangled dictionary?”

Steve scowls, but there’s more concern in his expression than anger. “What about you, huh? Okay, so let’s say you aren’t part of a team. Let’s say there aren’t thousands of people depending on you and your team. Let’s say it’s just Tony.” Every word that comes out of Steve’s mouth causes a stab of guilt and a stab of pain. His voice is rising, and Tony knows that is not good at all. The captain rarely loses his cool, and the fact that he’s so close to yelling now makes Tony wish he never left his room. He looks back down at his coffee, avoiding Steve’s eyes.

“What’s your point?”

“You were PISS DRUNK and working with EXPLOSIVES, Tony!” The engineer flinches, and yeah this is really not good. “It’s one thing when you’re drinking with Clint and you pass out on the sofa, but you were alone and in danger. No more alcohol in the tower.”

Tony chokes on his coffee. “Hey now, it’s my damn tower!”

“I don’t care. You’re being reckless and you’re putting lives at risk. No more alcohol.”

Tony glares for all he’s worth, and even whines a bit for good measure, but Steve won’t be moved.  His expression does soften though, and Tony feels guilty again. “You scared me. I’ve seen men drink themselves to death on less.”

“It takes more than that to kill me,” Tony grumbles.

“Good.” Steve stood up to leave and mumbled something that sounded like “I’m tired of my friends dying on me.” The guilt is starting to outweigh the pain, but he’s still not happy with Steve. At all. In fact, he’s more than _not happy._ He’s damn furious. He’s a grown man, for fuck’s sake. He can take care of himself. At least, he can manage well enough so he doesn’t die. Mostly. He’s made it this far, hasn’t he? Well, whatever. Fuck everything. Spending his days in a drunken stupor is dumb anyways. Tony’s got a better idea.

And so, with all the grace and majesty associated with being a genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist, Tony flops down on the couch and proceeds to sulk. He watches dumb TV shows, he has his food brought directly to him and he doesn’t leave the couch unless he absolutely has to. Bruce appears a while later, but Tony barely pays him any mind except to offer him some pizza. Delivery guys really will do anything when money is involved. Bruce stays for a bit and tries to talk science. Tony doesn’t feel like being productive at all, though, so he responds to Bruce’s questions and theories with a shrug. There’s a reason Tony’s watching crap reality TV, and the reason is that he really doesn’t want to think at all. To Bruce’s credit, he figures this out pretty easily. He stays for a while, obviously trying to keep Tony company, but the reality television does him in and he leaves pretty quickly. Tony barely notices.

He refuses to feel any sort of shame. He’s decided that he’s earned a good sulk. Hell, he’s more than earned it, he needs it. Tony watches TV through the night and falls asleep on the couch. The next morning his back hates him for it, but Tony doesn’t care enough to go back to his own bed. Steve put him there the other night, but he’d been too drunk and then too hung-over to notice anything. Tony is not eager to try it without booze. He would much rather fuck up his back on the couch. Taking a shower is briefly considered, but his bathroom is too far and showers are for productive people anyways, so the idea is quickly discarded. He spends another day on the couch with Steve hovering around. The super soldier is obviously worried. It’s unusual for Tony to be still. Ever. Even if he’s sitting he’s moving, he never shuts up, but its approaching the three day mark and Tony has been still and silent.

On the fourth day, Clint and Natasha return from their mission. Tony has set up camp on the common floor, mostly because the couch is the closest to the kitchen (he only has a bar on his floor), but also because it’s much more comfortable than the shitty designer one he’s got in the penthouse. The assassins walk in and pause, taking in the scene before them. Natasha wrinkles her nose and edges around the room into the kitchen. Tony doesn’t blame her. He hasn’t showered in days and he can taste how bad his breath smells. Clint, as always, is less subtle.

“Dude. What. The. Fuck.”

Tony waggles his eyebrows. “Like my new cologne, darling?”

Clint manages to look disgusted and amused at the same time. “Okay, where’s Pepper? There’s no way she’d let you stay like this. Is she on a business trip or something?”

Tony doesn’t answer and any traces of amusement leave his face. He doesn’t want to answer, but Clint is persistent. If he doesn’t just answer now, the next time Clint opens his mouth he’ll be pestering him about Pepper, and Tony doesn’t need that right now. “She left, Barton. Now run along and go shoot something.”

Clint’s mouth falls open, but for once he leaves without a word. Tony continues with his sulk. Suddenly, it occurs to him that since Natasha is now home, Steve is going to enlist her help with Project No Alcohol. Sneaking it into the tower is probably impossible now. Not for the first time in his life, Tony is glad he has so many security measures on his workshop. There’s a bar in there too, well stocked and completely hidden under junk and tools. Steve’s accusations had cut him, but it’s good to have an emergency plan for a rainy day. Tony has no doubts that that day will come. Besides, even if Steve doesn’t know about it, Tony can behave responsibly, and he’s going to prove it. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean he’s going to drink it.

Overall, he manages to last seven days. Seven days of not showering, seven days of mindless TV and no thoughts whatsoever. On the eighth day, Tony wakes up with his back screaming at him and decides the seven days is enough. His teeth feel fuzzy, his hair is greasy and his stubble has grown in odd patches. Yes, it’s definitely been long enough. One very long bathroom trip later, Tony is clean and dressed in his work clothes (old jeans and a holey shirt). He promised Clint an improved quiver a while back, one that holds more than three arrows, and he’s thought of a promising design in the shower that he’s eager to try out.

If Steve is shocked when he sees Tony up and moving about, he tries not to show it. He does smile and say good morning, making Tony look at the clock. Most people’s sleeping patterns would be messed up by now, but Tony’s took a turn for ‘normal’. He has to fix that. Tony goes through the kitchen, making himself a coffee, and Steve watches him carefully. He’s still far too quiet, but at least he’s off the couch. Tony had thought it would be harder to go into his room and find no trace of Pepper, and in a way, he was right. It looked like she’d never even been there. Oddly enough, Tony wasn’t as bothered as he thought he’d be. They had a good run, Pepper and him. In the elevator Tony decides that he’s glad Pepper left before he really fucked up. What if they had kept it up and had a kid or something? It would have been a disaster. She deserves someone who’s normal and not him. They did well, and it’s time to let go. Feeling lighter than before, Tony walks into his workshop and jumps into his new project.

“Jarvis, bring up the schematics for Barton’s quiver, store any improvements in the Hawkeye Equip file, block it from S.H.I.E.L.D., the usual run.”

“Right away, sir. Shall I also bring up your emails and missed calls?”

Tony sighs. “Yeah, sure. Are there a lot of them?”

“It’s been seven days, sir.”

Tony winces. Yep, that’s a lot. “You know the drill, Jarvis. Sort into important and ignorable. Fury gets his own file.”

“Is that a special version of ignorable, sir?” The AI’s voice is cheeky and Tony chuckles.

“Play some tunes, Jarv.” He doesn’t bother answering the AI’s earlier question. Jarvis knows what he wants. The schematics flash across his screens as AC/DC blares. He begins by adding modifications here and there, but soon decides the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s original design is shit and starts from scratch. The work is consuming and interesting, so time flies. The only interruption is Steve bringing him food, which he’s really happy about. Soon though, Tony is finished the design and starts making the actual quiver. That takes longer. He needs more concentration to add the tiny mechanics threaded throughout the quiver. He is so intent on his work that he doesn’t notice a slight thud or the way the temperature suddenly drops.

“Sir,” Jarvis says. Tony doesn’t respond until the second time. “Sir, there is an intruder.”

“What?” He looks to the door. It hasn’t opened, and so he spins around in his chair. He casts his eyes around the room until he finds a hand sticking out from behind a counter. Now that he’s listening and his equipment is off, Tony hears labored breathing.

“Shall I alert the other Avengers, sir?”

He opens his mouth to say yes, but pauses when he sees blood. “No, wait until I give the signal.”

“I would not advise that decision, sir.”

“Doesn’t matter, do as I say.”

“Sir…” Tony gets up and slowly moves towards the hand.

“Jarvis.” He swears he can hear the AI sigh, but he didn’t program him to do that and it’s weird.

“As you wish, sir.”

The puddle of blood is growing and Tony walks faster because he really doesn’t want someone to die on his floor, intruder or not.

“Holy shit!” Whatever he was expecting, _whoever_ he was expecting, it was definitely not— “Loki?” The god’s eyes fly open at the mention of his name.

“Sir, I think you should call for—”

“Shut it, Jarvis!” Tony stares at the broken god for a few seconds in complete shock, but then launches into a flurry of activity, going straight for the med kit. Loki looks awful. His jaw is hanging loosely, and Tony thinks it’s more than just dislocated. It looks like nothing but hid skin is keeping it attached. There’s blood everywhere, pouring from the wounds covering his body. Tony can see white pieces of bone sticking out through his skin, and his _skin!_ There are patches that are mottled yellowish purple, bruises so bad they’re almost black, and then there are cracks of vivid blue, spread out in bursts and inky tendrils. Over all of that are terrible burns that shimmer oddly over the blue skin. One eye is blood red and the other bright green, and Tony is more than a little freaked out. The air around Loki can’t decide whether to be warm or cold, the differences in temperature making the air swirl.

Tony rushes back with the med kit (five times bigger than any other med kit thanks to Bruce’s paranoia) and Loki watches him warily, his expression changing to bewilderment when Tony starts cleaning some of the smaller injuries. That expression lasts only a second though, before his face becomes closed off. Tony cleans any small injuries he can find. He’s got no idea what to do with the larger ones, but the small ones he can handle. One gash is on a patch of bright blue skin, and Loki flinches as Tony touches it. Tony pauses too. The skin has a different texture and is ice cold. He still does his best to clean the wound, though, noticing only vaguely that the blood is a different color. Blood is still blood, no matter the color. The bleeding is starting to slow down and Tony hopes that it’s because of super-fast healing and not because Loki is bleeding out. He doesn’t want Loki to die and he doesn’t know why, but it’s not important right now. It’s another question to ponder on a rainy day.

“What the hell, you’re supposed to be in jail. Shit, how did this even happen? Please tell me you’re not bleeding out!” Tony’s frantic muttering only makes Loki look even more confused. Tony honestly doesn’t expect Loki to answer with his jaw all messed up, so he just keeps muttering and working until a terrible cracking noise makes him jump. His eyes flick over to Loki’s jaw, and he realizes that it’s shifting under the skin, like his face is putting itself back together. It moves into place with a final popping sound, and the god moves it around experimentally. Further cracking noises and winces prompt Tony to look over the rest of Loki’s body, and he watches with fascination as the blue recedes and his bones pop back to where they belong. Most of the bigger gashes close, but the bruises and burns and smaller scrapes stay where they are. A rasping breath draws his eyes back up to Loki’s face.

“Why help me?” He sounds even worse than he looked, as if his throat’s raw.

Tony blinks. “Uh, don’t know. I’ll get back to you on that.” The question brings Tony back to the clusterfuck he’s now in and he groans. Loki, an insane, genocidal god shows up bloody and broken and Tony’s first instinct is to _help him._ Maybe he should’ve sulked longer. Maybe eight days was the ticket. “What are you doing here, anyway? Last I heard you were in prison on Asgard.”

Loki chuckles humorlessly. Or at least, he tries. It sounds more like the wheeze of a dying man combined with a gurgle. “I was.”

Tony whistles. “Then whoever you ran to first was not happy to see you.”

“This is the first place.” Tony freezes, staring at the god with wide eyes. There’s no way he’s telling the truth. “Not on purpose, mind you,” the god continues, trying for his usual lofty tone, but he still sounds like he’s close to dying.

“No offense, Reindeer Games, but you look like you’ve been torn apart. How many guards did you kill in your daring escape?” This is the only logical option and Tony says the words scathingly, but he has a horrible feeling that he’s wrong. Loki confirms it.

“None.” Tony flinches and Loki laughs. “Come now, Stark. Surely you’ve heard of torture before?” The words make Tony shudder, something Loki doesn’t miss. “What do you think of my father’s handiwork?”

His father? Tony furrows his brows. Odin? “Holy shit.” There’s no other way for Tony to respond. Another wheezing chuckle escapes the god’s throat, this time turning into a cough. He spits up a bit of blood at the action, painting his pale lips red, and with that the Norse god of mischief falls unconscious. Tony sits frozen for only a moment before he finds his voice. “Jarvis, check his vitals.”

“He is still alive, sir. His body temperature is significantly low, but all other vitals seem to be fine.” Tony let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Sir, perhaps you should notify Captain Rogers or Agent Romanov of Loki’s appearance.”

“No,” Tony finds himself saying. “No, Jarvis, we’re keeping this under wraps. Erase all security footage starting from ten minutes before Loki shows up to ten minutes after we leave. Nobody hears about this.”

“I do not think that this course of action is advisable, sir.”

“I know. Do it, please.”

There is a pause before the AI responds. “Right away, sir. Since you insist upon this, might I suggest that you take him up to your floor? Your security protocols are much more effective in your private living space.”

Its times like these that Tony is very proud of the AI he programmed. “Shit, right. Good idea. Bring down the elevator and lock off my floor. I want the best security measures we’ve got, the ones that can keep even Tasha out. Also, while we’re in the elevator, no stops at other floors. Point A to Point B, Jarvis.”

“Thank you for your wonderful explanation, sir.” The AI’s sarcasm is clear, and despite the situation Tony cracks a smile.

“Don’t sass me.”

“I would never.” Not expecting that response, Tony laughs but otherwise ignores him. There are other things for him to worry about. He tries picking Loki up, be he’s not as thin as he looks. Tony curses.

There’s not an ounce of fat on him, which probably makes him weigh more. In fact, the god’s pretty solid. No showy muscles like Thor or the good Captain, but they’re definitely there, no buts about it. If Loki was shorter, he’d probably look more bulky, but as it is, he definitely looks thinner than he really is. Tony ends up putting on the suit to carry Loki upstairs, thankful that the god is unconscious. The last thing he needs at the moment is a rant about the weakness of mortals, at the end of which one of them would probably end up dead, most likely Tony if only because he’d end up calling the god fat in self-defense. If the god is as big a diva as they think, Tony is sure he’d at least be seriously injured if he so much as insulted Loki’s hairstyle. Instead of being afraid as he should be, Tony finds himself chuckling. Maybe he’s the crazy one. Pepper certainly thought so.

There are two bedrooms on Tony’s floor. One, of course, is his. The second one was for Pepper from before they got together in case she needed to stay late for work. Well, Pepper’s gone now. Luckily for Loki, there’s a vacancy in Avengers Tower. They’ll discuss rent later. Carefully as he can, Tony sets Loki down on the bed. The god is truly out cold, not even stirring as Tony lays him out. Belatedly, Tony realizes that he should have put Loki under the blanket or something, but he doesn’t want to move him again. Oh well, he’ll grab a spare from his room later. Leaving the room as quickly as he can, Tony steps out of the suit, setting it aside for easy access later.

“Jarvis, monitor Loki. If he wakes up, let me know immediately. Do not give him access to the elevator, stairs, or any of the external doors and windows. As for everything else, level one guest access.”

“Right away, sir.”

Tony nods absently. It’s thinking time. So, a crazy genocidal Norse god appears in his workshop, obviously tortured and wearing nothing but prison pants. Ah, shit, clothes. Loki will probably want clothes when he wakes up. Tony beelines to his closet and tries to find something long enough. He settles on an old pair of sweats—the legs had always been too long for him, but who the hell bothers to hem sweatpants?—and an AC/DC t-shirt, because he doesn’t have to worry about short sleeves being too short. Also stopping to grab a spare blanket, Tony goes back to the god’s room, drapes the blanket over him as carefully as he can, sets the clothes on the end of the bed, and leaves just as quickly.

Okay, no more distractions. Thinking time. He settles on a couch looking out the windows. Absently, he notes that this couch is nowhere near as comfortable as the one downstairs. Stupid posh designers wouldn’t know comfort if it kicked them in the ass.

His eyes find the window that Loki tossed him out of months ago. Jesus, the nutcase tossed him out of a window, outright _defenestration,_ and here Tony is, helping him. Why? _Why?_ Why help his enemy? The question parades around in his skull, but he really has no clue. He can’t even say that it had felt like the right thing to do, because there was no alternative. It wasn’t as if Tony had chosen the lesser of two evils. Leaving Loki to die or calling another Avenger was just not an option. No, his only option was to help Loki, right or not, and Tony is beginning to feel scared. Not because there is a psychotic murderer sleeping in his guest bedroom, though that is an excellent reason, but because even now Tony is worried about him. _Worried._ Tony Stark doesn’t do _worried,_ except that he is and that’s terrifying.

If he really pushes himself for an answer, Tony thinks it’s because of the torture. He does not approve of torture. It doesn’t matter who a person is or what they’ve done, nobody should be tortured. It’s the line that Tony will not cross, the line that, in his opinion, sets them apart from the bad guys. Originally, Tony thought Asgard was the pinnacle of honor (not that he’d ever tell Thor), filled with gods who knew where the line was. He gets that feeling from Thor. Now, though, he isn’t so sure.

 _Loki killed thousands of innocent people,_ a voice whispers from the back of his mind. _Maybe he deserved to be tortured._ Tony shakes his head as if he can fling the voice away. No, he can’t even pretend to believe that. How many innocents had died because of Tony? How many people suffered from the destruction his weapons caused? How many people died since Tony became Iron Man? How many were killed for revenge against him, killed during battles that got out of hand, killed for nothing more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time? If Tony had been counting, he would have lost count long ago, before Iron Man had even come into existence. As it is, he’s positive that his body count is right up there with Loki’s, yet Tony is considered a hero. He hasn’t always been, and there are still some people against him, but he is now. The line separating him from Loki is flimsy, structured by sheer happenstance. They’ve both fallen, destroying countless lives as they went. Yinsin had caught Tony, Pepper not far behind, but Loki’s still going. Tony is going to try and catch him.

Tony had been given chances and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t offer Loki the same thing. Tony’s past has been erased. Loki’s past is longer, but Tony is nothing if not determined. He is going to give Loki a choice. Who knows, maybe Loki wants this chance. Whether or not that’s the case, Tony is going to give it to him.

Feeling largely satisfied with his decision, Tony leaves Loki to rest and heads back down to his workshop. Clint’s quiver isn’t going to finish itself. 


	2. For the Vagabonds, Ne’er-do-wells and Insufferable Bastards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! A big thank you to everyone who left such wonderful comments, you had me smiling like a dork! I hope you all enjoy this chapter just as much :)

Finally back down in the lab, Tony hums as he works. Jarvis catches the tune and plays the song without Tony even having to tell him. That song leads to the next, and Tony has Jarvis turn up the volume to almost deafening. He’s just finishing up the internal mechanisms when Jarvis cuts the music. “Sir, Agent Barton is requesting entry into the workshop.” Now that the music is off, Tony hears muffled banging.

“More like demanding entry. Jesus, am I ever going to get any work done?”

“I believe the answer would be in the negative, sir.” The AI responds cheekily.

“Whatever. Let him in, smart-ass.” The door slides open smoothly as Tony turns back to his work. “You’re a bit early, bird-brain, I’m not finished with your new toy yet.”

Clint pauses, whatever he came down to say momentarily put on the back burner. “What? You already started it?”

“Try not to sound so shocked. It hurts me, Clint.”

Clint completely ignores Tony’s sarcasm. “I just didn’t think you’d actually do it without me having to threaten you.”

Tony huffs. “I do all of Tasha’s stuff on time.”

The archer gives him a wry expression. “That’s just because she can kill you with her pinky and you know it.”

Tony snorts. “Kay, maybe that helps speed me along, but don’t be jealous, you can kill me too.” He turns and bats his eyes at Clint, giving the archer his best flirtatious expression.

Clint tries to look disgusted, but he fails miserably, cackling at Tony’s antics. “Save it for the bedroom, tiger.” Tony sniggers, adding on a wink for good measure. If only Steve was there. The good captain is too easy to tease, and his face is usually priceless. Half the time he has to leave when Clint and Tony really go at it.

“Tiger? Really?”

Clint chuckles. “I’m an assassin, not a poet.” Abruptly, Clint’s face straightens into a serious expression. “Thanks for the weapons upgrades and all, but I came down for a different reason.”

“And that reason is?” Tony hopes it has nothing to do with the god sleeping in his spare bedroom.

“Well…” Clint fidgets, something he rarely does. The movement makes Tony nervous.

“Spit it out or leave, Barton. I don’t have all day.” Nerves were something Tony’s never dealt with easily, and he’s more than fed up with being nervous today.

“Thor’s upstairs. Steve’s called a team meeting, he wants you up too.” Shit. It’s definitely about the god sleeping in his spare bedroom.

“Sure, I’ll be up in a bit.” Tony turns away from Clint, pretending to continue working. He has a feeling he knows exactly why Thor’s calling a meeting and he’s not eager to rush into it. Except… Tony pales slightly. Thor showed up pretty quickly. Of course, it makes sense that he’d want to let his fellow Avengers know as soon as possible about Loki’s escape, but what if he knows Loki is already in the tower? If he does, he hasn’t told anyone his suspicions. If he had, Clint probably would have killed Tony first and asked questions later. The archer has no good feelings towards the god of mischief.

“Nope, Steve wants you upstairs now. Thor says it’s some kind of emergency, but he won’t say what until everyone’s together. Whatever it is, he looks pretty upset about it.”

“Fine, just hang on a second.” The engineer starts to pack up his tools. Well, really he’s just shifting them around to make it look like he’s doing something. It’d be odd if he jumped up to willingly go to a meeting, which is the reason Tony came up with to justify his buying time. If Thor hasn’t said why he’s here, there’s a good chance that he doesn’t know where Loki is. He obviously knows that Loki’s escaped, unless the Asgardians are completely stupid and haven’t noticed his absence yet. Tony doubts they’re that dumb, and so he’s going to have to try and look surprised when Thor gives them his news. Thankfully, he’s got a pretty good poker face. He’s even managed to fool Natasha once. Not for long, but it happened.

Besides, who would even guess that Tony is hiding Loki on his floor? Tony wouldn’t have guessed in a million years, and he’s the one doing it. With some semblance of confidence, Tony follows Clint upstairs. He’s the last one to arrive, but Steve looks more shocked than annoyed.

“You actually got him up here that fast? Did you threaten to kill him or something?” He sounds incredulous.

Tony shrugs. “He said it was an emergency and I was bored, so here I am.” Looking around the room, he finally spots Thor pacing nervously by the windows. Tony can tell by the expression on his face that it’s definitely about Loki. “What’s up, Pikachu? You look kind of stressed.” ‘Kind of’ is an understatement. He notices that Natasha is watching him, and Tony tries not to fidget while he mentally kicks himself. He sounds too nonchalant. His poker face is only good if he actually _uses_ it. Thor stops pacing and settles in a chair, and Tony feels kind of bad for him. The poor guy looks like crap.

“I bring grave news, Man of Iron.” He pauses and his brow furrows. “What is this Pikachu you speak of?”

Clint giggles and Tony waves the question aside. “Never mind that.” Before Thor can ask again, Steve cuts in.

“You said you have important news?”

“Yes, I bring news of Loki.” From the way he says it, Tony knows he’s in the clear. Thor has no idea where he’s gone. Now all he has to do is make it through the rest of the meeting, and Tony’s good as gold.

“I thought we were done with that psycho.” Clint sounds annoyed. He clearly thinks they’re just getting a progress report or something. Natasha, on the other hand, sits up straighter, suddenly looking more alert.

“Loki is on Asgard, in prison. Isn’t he?” Bruce’s calm voice cuts through Clint’s complaints, bringing them to the root of the issue.

Thor sits down on the couch, utterly defeated. “He has escaped. As it is, Heimdall cannot see him. We do not know where he’s gone.” Ah, Tony had forgotten about Heimdall. It’s good to know that the all-seeing gatekeeper that Thor had told them about can’t see where Loki is. Damn, this whole venture could’ve been over a whole lot quicker. Outside of his introspection, the room predictably explodes. Clint begins to swear enthusiastically, Steve immediately begins asking questions, and Tony slides a little closer to Bruce. The doctor always calms down when one of the team members are near, if only because he doesn’t want the other guy to erupt so close to one of his friends. Natasha, of course, looks unfazed, but Tony can tell she’s already analyzing the situation.

Luckily, the news seems to have distracted everyone, because Tony stays quiet. Under any other circumstance, he’d be swearing and firing questions along with Steve and Clint, but right now he’s waiting for Thor to mention how or why Loki escaped. He expects the answer will be along the lines of _how,_ rather than _why,_ because Loki’s motivations are blurry at the best of times, but the explanation never comes. Except for answering Steve’s relatively bland questions like _when_ and _what should we expect_ Thor stares morosely at the floor. This, for some reason, makes Tony extremely angry.  Belatedly, Tony realizes that Thor must have at least known Loki was being tortured and that he did nothing to stop it. For all that the guy insists Loki is his brother, he brought him back to be tortured and left them to it. Fuck it; Tony throws caution to the wind.

“How did he escape?” Steve looks mildly surprised. He usually ends up asking all the questions, but he hadn’t thought to consider _how_ the god got loose.

Thor looks up sadly. “He was being transported and escaped his bindings.”

The excuse was watery at best, in Tony’s eyes. “I thought you said Asgard had better technology to hold him?” Steve’s got his Captain America voice out, all technical and strategic.

“We do, but there was a very slight difference between the strength of bindings in his cell and the transport bindings. Apparently, the slight difference was significant enough to allow him to escape. My brother is the strongest magician in all of Asgard, and quite possibly most of the nine realms.”

“And you didn’t think to prepare for that?” Clint yells angrily. Thor opens his mouth to respond but Tony cuts in.

“Why was he being moved?” If Thor wasn’t going to come out and say it, then Tony was going to drag the answer out of him. Enough questions about context should do the trick. Natasha’s eyes stop tracking Thor’s movements and instead focus on Tony. He sounds angry, and he never shows this much interest. Tony ignores her.

“What do you mean?” Thor blinks, his face blank.

Tony sighs. “Why was he out of his cell? Was it cleaning day? Take out the goldfish to change the water kind of thing?” Thor only looks more confused and opens his mouth to say something, but Tony cuts him off. “Don’t even start. I’m sure you’ve got goldfish in God Land.” His tone has become almost hostile. “Are you sure you aren’t leaving something out? Some random, important little detail?” Thor has the confused look down-pat, but something flashes in his eyes. It could just be Tony’s hostility, but it could also be something else. Either way, Tony knows he’s close to getting the answer he wants. Natasha is watching their exchange far too closely, but what kind of conclusions can she even come up with? Tony’s situation is so odd that there’s no way someone with all the details could even begin to figure out. Fuck, Tony knows exactly what’s going on and he’s still lost. The most she can get from his behavior is that he’s probably scared and angry at Thor for letting the nutcase loose. It’s completely wrong, but Tony’s not going to argue.

Jarvis cuts in before Tony can do any more damage. “Sir, a situation has arisen that requires your attention.”

Tony doesn’t look away from Thor. “Kind of busy here, Jarv.”

“I must insist. The project you’ve asked me to monitor has become active. I would not suggest leaving it unattended long.”

Steve turns to Tony. “Whatever it is, can’t you leave it? This is important.” Steve’s obviously put out about losing his new questioning buddy, but Tony doesn’t answer him immediately. What project? Had he forgotten about something? If he had, it wouldn’t be surprising considering who showed up this morning—

“Oh! Shit, that!” Tony stands hastily. “Nope, sorry kids, gotta run. This can’t wait.”

“What can’t wait?” Steve tries to stop him. “Tony!”

Tony just waves before he jumps into the elevator, leaving Bruce to calm down the super-soldier. “It’s probably something explosive, Steve. Leave him to it, it’s not like he lives on a different planet, we can always find him later.”

Tony chuckles humorlessly in the elevator. Explosive is definitely right. “He’s awake, Jarvis? What’s he doing?”

“He’s pacing, sir. Shall I inform him of your arrival?”

Tony grimaces. “Yeah, do that, I don’t want to surprise him. All security protocols are in place?”

“In place and activated, sir.”

“You’re the man, Jarvis.” The AI doesn’t bother to respond. The elevator doors slide open and Loki stops mid-pace. He watches Tony warily before breaking eye contact long enough to glance behind him.

“You are alone?”

“Yeah, just me.” Tony steps out of the elevator, trying to examine Loki without looking too obvious. He’s still wearing the prison pants, but his wounds look a lot better. There’s still massive bruising around his ribs and along is jaw, pinkish scars are littered all over him, and he looks exhausted. The burns, Tony is unhappy to note, haven’t healed at all and still look horribly raw. Loki’s hair clings together in greasy ropes and tangles. He must’ve started pacing as soon as he woke up. “I left you clean clothes,” Tony offers, as if clean clothes are even important at the moment. No, there is a much heavier discussion weighing down on them, and Loki skips straight to it, eying Tony suspiciously.

“I noticed. Thor is here, I can sense him.”

Tony shrugs. “Yup, he’s downstairs. Are you hungry?”

“I don’t plan on returning to Asgard.”

“Great, so we’re on the same page. You okay with pizza?”

“Don’t ignore me, Stark.”

A sigh. “I’m not. Jarvis, order some pizza. Give the delivery guy clearance to come straight up, no stops, you know the drill.” He walks over to the bar and grimaces as he remembers it is empty. Loki follows, glancing back to the elevator. “I’d offer you a drink, but I’ve got nothing.”

“A pity. If I remember correctly, you still owe me one.” Again, Loki glances at the elevator.

“Stop staring at the elevator, nobody’s coming up.”

“You expect me to believe you?”

“Yup. See, nobody knows you’re here except for me and Jarvis. Moreover, even if they did know you were here, I’m not handing you over to Thor.” Shock flits over Loki’s features before he schools his face into a mask of disinterest. It’s blindly fast, and Tony almost missed it, but it makes Tony worried. The guy’s being way too obvious, making Tony wonder how injured he really is. Physically, he looks fine, but mentally… There is no way Tony’s going near that can of worms. Not tonight, at least. “Besides, aren’t you the god of lies? Can’t you smell them or something?”

Loki ignores that comment. “Why help me?”

“I don’t like torture.”

“Surely you have different motives.”

“None that I know of. Make yourself comfortable.”

Loki smirks, settling himself regally on the couch. “Is the famous Iron Man squeamish? Too delicate to let even his enemies fall to torture?” His voice is mocking, and Tony’s hackles rise.

“Fuck off. Nobody deserves to suffer like that. I don’t care what you’ve done.”

Loki’s smirk disappears. “Don’t speak as if you understand, Stark. What do you know of suffering?”

“I don’t know what happened to you, but I have been tortured before,” Tony growls. “I’m not pretending to understand. I really don’t like torture.”

Loki sits back, analyzing Tony with a cool gaze. Absently, Tony notices that even while he’s slouching Loki sits like royalty. Tony stands his ground, matching Loki stare for stare. “What do you know of torture?” The god finally grinds out, glaring for all he’s worth.

Tony barks a laugh. It’s harsh and has no trace of humor. “I had the five star experience. Kidnapped by terrorists, imprisoned in a cave, the whole nine yards. Long story short, I ended up with this,” he taps the arc reactor on his chest, “and a fuck-ton of issues. So yeah, I know torture. Thor’s not getting anywhere near you.”

“What of your people?”

“What, S.H.I.E.L.D.? Yeah, no, just you and me. And speaking of you, let’s hear the story. How did you get here?”

“I told you, I teleported.”

The engineer fights the urge to roll his eyes. “Yeah, I got that part. But you said it was a mistake.” Loki offers no further explanation, and Tony now does roll his eyes. He’s fed up with dragging answers out of reluctant gods. “C’mon, Reindeer Games, the more I know the better I can keep you secret.” Loki blinks. He doesn’t even twitch at the nickname, but he never really did anyways. Tony’s honesty throws him for a loop, and so Loki does something that surprises them both. He tells Tony.

He tells Tony about the torture, how Odin was present for each session, sparing Tony of the details and skipping ahead to his escape. “I’m not entirely sure how I ended up here. The general location is easy enough to explain, but the specific is a bit harder.” He says, as if the answer is obvious. It isn’t, and Tony tells him so.

“Listen, I don’t know what I’m missing, but your explanation sounds all mystical and finger-wiggly. I deal with science. Give me science.”

Loki sighs. “Honestly, how have you mortals even survived this long?”

“ _Science,_ Loki!”

The god lets out a condescending sigh. “Surely you remember the portal I opened here several months ago?”

“Vividly.”

“When it was closed, residual energy was left behind. In this location, the walls between the realms have become thinner. The residual energy acts like a magnet, and in my state I did not have the energy to resist the pull. This explains the general area.” He says this exceptionally slowly, as if he’s explaining it to a small child. Tony has to resist the urge to stick his tongue out in retaliation, and Loki smiles slightly as if he can read Tony’s thoughts. “Thinking back on it, it would have been more likely for me to end up on the roof or on this floor.”

“Why this floor?”

“I have been here before. The room I appeared in is entirely new to me, which presents quite a few issues.” Tony nods, eager for Loki to continue, but Jarvis informs them that the pizza has arrived.

Tony makes Loki wait behind the bar—out of sight from the elevator—while he grabs the food. Even after the delivery guy is gone the conversation doesn’t pick up. Silence reigns as Tony sets the pizza on the coffee table, plunking himself down in a chair while Loki settles on the couch once more. The god waits until Tony takes a slice before he reaches out and takes one for himself. He makes a face at the food, obviously disgusted, but eats it anyway. That he ends up eating over half the pizza either means that he was very hungry or he didn’t find it too disgusting. Tony uses the awkward silence as an excuse to think.

Loki is being oddly forthcoming. Tony expected some sort of struggle and a bit more verbal trickery before Loki even began to hint at the truth. He doesn’t even know if Loki is telling the truth, but Tony believes him. He believes without a doubt that Odin was deeply involved in Loki’s torture. He believes that Loki’s coming here was an accident and not some screwed up plot for revenge. He believes that Loki is not going to hurt him, however ridiculous it may sound. Loki never said he wouldn’t, but Tony feels safe. They finish the pizza quietly and Tony waits for Loki to continue where he left off.

Loki stays silent, slowly picking apart a final slice of pizza. He studiously avoids looking at Tony, which Tony takes as not the best sign. “You were talking about issues?” Damn, he sounds awkward. Really though, he’s hiding an escaped homicidal maniac in the equivalent of his bedroom from said maniac’s older brother. He’s allowed to be awkward. “I was kind of hoping you’d elaborate a bit.”

Slowly leaning back, Loki steeples his fingers, holding them just below his nose. “I have a theory about that.” He doesn’t elaborate, and Tony suddenly decides he doesn’t care. He’s exhausted. It happened, Loki is here, the why and how have been explained enough, whatever. Tony made a choice and he’s going to stick with it.

“Okay, I get the feeling you don’t want to share, that’s fine.” Loki looks vaguely amused, and Tony loses a couple seconds watching his face before a thought crosses his mind. “Unless you’re theory puts me in danger. Then you kind of have to share. House rule.”

The god laughs, and the sound is completely new. It sounds rough and unused, more than a little crazy, but at least it’s an honest to god laugh. “You have nothing to fear, Stark.”

“Cool. Great. Okay. So, in that case, make yourself at home. Um, a couple ground rules though.” Loki raises a single eyebrow but otherwise says nothing, so Tony takes that as an invitation to go on. “Just the usual stuff, try not to kill anybody, no explosions without reason, anything really that I can’t explain is a no-go.” He vaguely waves his hand through the air, much to the god’s amusement. “Try not to be seen, for obvious reasons, and this probably goes without saying, but you’re stuck on this floor. You have the run of it, though I’d prefer if you stayed out of my room. Just necessary stuff.” The rules aren’t really all that demanding, and so Tony doesn’t feel all that bad asking Loki to stick to them. They’ll just make this whole situation easier, and the god agrees.

“Reasonable. Anything else?”

“Well, I guess the ‘no revenge’ rule goes without saying.” Loki laughs again, and Tony smiles. If Steve could see him now he’d be shitting kittens. Joking around about revenge with super villains is probably something the good Captain wouldn’t condone. The thought makes Tony smile wider. “So that’s everything. If you need something ask me or Jarvis—”

“The voice in the ceiling?”

“Yeah, him. He’s not actually in the ceiling, but, um… I’ll explain that later. Ask me or him and we’ll try to get it, within reason.

“Again, reasonable.”

Tony stands up. “Cool. So, I’m going back to my lab, I’ve got projects to finish and stuff. Um…” His eyes shift from Loki’s face to one of the many burns on the god’s body. “Do you need any medical supplies or something? I have no clue how your voodoo works, so…”

“Rest is all I need, Stark.” His voice dips to a purr as he drags his eyes down the engineer’s body. “For the time being.” Loki’s tone promises a new kind of danger, as terrifying as it is arousing, making Tony shiver.

“I said within reason, honey,” Tony quips.

“I can be reasonable, darling,” Loki shoots back, not missing a beat.

Tony can’t help it, he laughs on his way back to the elevator. If anything, this venture is bound to be interesting at the very least. “See you later, Reindeer Games.” The elevator doors slide shut, but not before Tony catches Loki’s irritated-amused look. It’s quite the expression and Tony spends the ride thinking up cheesy nicknames, if only so he can see it again. It’s the kind of fun that’s as likely to get him killed as it is to amuse him, and really to Tony there’s no other kind. For the first time in a while, Tony feels excited. He’s already thought of five new names.

 *****

Loki waits a good few minutes after Stark leaves before he sags into the couch, exhaustion written into every line of his body. Pulling himself back together so soon after his escape was nearly more than he could handle, without even the added strain of maintaining an illusion. An illusion that he is reluctant to drop even now that he is alone. Or rather, as alone as is possible. His eyes stray towards the ceiling, despite Stark’s earlier words, before they drift closed. The god is tempted to sleep where he sits, but a few things stop him. He wants to bathe, and the couch he’s settled into is nowhere near as comfortable as it looks.

He returns to his rooms, noticing the clothes Stark mentioned earlier. Loki picks up the soft trousers and shirt, examining them briefly before he decides they are acceptable. They are not his Asgardian leathers, but he cannot reach those at the moment. The Midgardian garments will have to do.

Further exploration of the room shows that there is indeed a luxurious bathing room, as well as an empty closet and several pieces of furniture. It is austere, and Loki decides that this is also acceptable. This is only a temporary location; it is not as if he needs to feel at home. The room is obviously intended for guests, and so Loki finds most of the things he needs in the cupboards in the bathing room. The labels are strange and oddly floral, but it is clear enough what they are. Bathing takes longer than it would have if he had asked Jarvis for assistance, but Loki has never been one to ask for help. Noticing that there is no brush, the god sighs, running his fingers through his hair before twisting it into a loose braid. It is getting long, and without his magic to tame it, Loki thinks he will have to cut it.

By the time he finishes in the shower and dresses, it is a struggle to walk the final steps to the bed. However, as is the nature of the universe, once Loki is lying down sleep slips away from him. This day made little sense, and though Loki is a creature of chaos, he likes to be the one holding all the strings. One cannot sit back and watch the chaos unfold if they are caught up in it as well. Only two theories make any sense, and Loki hopes he is wrong about one of them. He had been truthful with Stark when he spoke of the residual energy from the portal. A gateway of that size created with the raw energy that the Tesarect creates will act as a magnet long after it is closed, letting things trickle through every now and again. Loki had been intimately involved in its creation, and because of that the energy has a stronger pull on him, familiar as it is with his magic. It recognized him and pulled him through while he was unable to resist it. This theory, he knows, is correct and makes perfect sense. However, this is also where things begin to get mangled.

By all the laws of magic, and there are many, Loki should have landed in close proximity to where the portal opened. Namely, on the roof or in a large crater beside the tower, if he missed the roof and fell.  He should not have landed six floors below the roof, inside the building. Furthermore, if he had landed inside the building, by all rights it should have been in Stark’s penthouse suite, yet he appeared in a part of the building that had been untouched by the battle, and unseen by Loki. No, by all laws it is impossible, yet here he is. There is one option, though, that Loki does not want to consider.

The idea is more legend than anything. Loki first stumbled across it centuries ago, during his travels. Even then, the most he found were stories, and Loki did all he could to find it. He searched for decades; he wanted to find proof, something tangible, something that wasn’t just stories and beliefs. All he’d managed to catch where whispers, tendrils of smoke that eluded his grasp. He’d given up ever finding it, and after recent events have come to light, he doubted he ever would, but even now he has never forgotten the idea. The more he thinks about it, the more plausible it sounds. With a sinking feeling, Loki considers his options. There aren’t many, even less if he factors in his current condition.

His wounds aren’t as bad as Stark thinks, only the burns are healing at an excruciatingly slow, mortal pace. The rest is for show, a sort of protection. It is easy to heal bruises and cuts but leave behind the color. Whatever it is Stark decides to do with him, he’ll wait until Loki is healed. Loki intends to use that. Though his physical injuries are all but gone, his magic has suffered an enormous blow. It will be some time before he’s recuperated enough to teleport, let alone use some of his more intricate magics, and Stark has provided all the time Loki needs. Thor will never think to look for him here, under his very nose. All the inconveniences aside, whatever brought him to Stark seems to be working in Loki’s favor, for now. It isn’t often that Loki hopes he is wrong, but if he is correct, his problems are only just beginning.

The god lies staring at the ceiling as if all his answers are there for him to see, if only he looks hard enough. Slowly, sleep begins to slide through his tired mind, finally bringing reprieve. The god’s last thoughts are of Stark tinkering away in his workshop. An inexplicable feeling of safety drapes over Loki like a blanket, and he sleeps far more peacefully and deeply than he has in a long while.

***** 

“Sir, Agent Barton is in the ventilation system again.”

Tony sighs. “Open comms to the vents.”

“Connected, sir.”

“Clint, you creepy little fuck, get out of the vents and use the door like a normal person.”

A muffled bang comes from somewhere above him and Tony chuckles. Strings of cursing come through the comms, accompanied by the sounds of Clint extracting himself from the ductwork. He doesn’t bother to be quiet now that Tony knows he’s there. Jarvis cuts the comms as soon as Clint’s out of the vents, whisking the door open before the archer can even knock. Tony is greeted by Clint’s scowl. “Now, now, Barton,” he chides. “You know the only way in or out of my lab is the door.”

Clint huffs. “Why do you have so much security for your playroom?”

“So I can make fancy toys in peace.” Tony grabs the completed quiver and tosses it at Clint. “All the modifications you asked for, plus a few of my own.”

Clint is quickly distracted, examining his updated equipment intently, quickly finding all the surface modifications. “It’s heavier than before.” He turns it slightly. “Longer too.”

“That’s because I’ve doubled the arrowhead compartments, you’re welcome.”

Clint’s face breaks into a massive grin. “I knew you loved me! Now all I need is some fancy tech arrows and I’ll be the happiest assassin you ever saw.”

The engineer laughs outright. “We’ll see. Keep crawling through my vents and that will change.” He waves a wrench threateningly in Clint’s direction, and the assassin cackles.

“You just make it so tempting, what with all the security and stuff.” Tony makes a face at him, and he must’ve learned it from Steve because it has the same level of parental displeasure. “Aw, come one. It’s like putting you in a room full of fancy tech and telling you not to touch anything!”

“I’ve got my security protocols for a reason, bird-brain.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, bad shit happens when tech is involved.” He takes out an arrow and examines the head, testing its sharpness on his thumb. “You’ve stepped up your security lately,” he begins nonchalantly. “Even on your floor. Especially on your floor. The button’s even been locked on the elevator.”

Tony shrugs. “What’d you expect me to do? Loki’s out and I still owe him a drink. Who’s to say he won’t come and get it?” An edge of nervousness creeps into his voice, and he fidgets a bit before he can stop himself. Loki’s already come, not for his drink, but that’s just a small technicality. Clint would go crazy if he knew, so Tony plays the nervousness as just that: nervousness. A little bit of truth never hurt a lie and repurposed truths make the best lies. Loki threw him out of a window, practically destroyed his tower, almost decimated New York, is an international, inter-universe war criminal, and Tony _owes him a drink_. He’s allowed to feel nervous, and he can see Clint come to the same conclusion.

“I guess you have a point. The guy’s a maniac.” He claps Tony on the shoulder. “Later, buttercup, I’m off to play.” Tony doesn’t even have time to crack a smile before the assassin disappears, door sliding closed behind him. With a sigh, the genius slumps against a workbench. He almost feels bad about lying to Clint. Almost, but not quite. The archer has plenty of his own secrets, definitely more than Tony’s even bothered to hide. It’s not like unpleasant secrets are anything new to anybody on the team, but as far as Tony knows, he’s the only one who’s ever kept potentially fatal secrets. And, well, they tend to be the only type of secret he’s ever had.

He works a few more hours before he decides that it’s late enough, and he’s about to shut everything down when Jarvis gives him a Loki update. “Sir, Loki is awake and pacing again.” Tony sighs, wishing the god would find something more productive to do. It’s pretty early in the morning, and Tony has a feeling that Loki isn’t resting as much as he needs to. Making a quick stop in the kitchen, Tony grabs a carton of milk and a couple boxes of cereal. His bar is empty now, but there’s still a mini fridge, and stocking up on food seems like a good idea. He spots a big bowl of fruit on the counter and decides to take that as well. He’s not sure what Loki likes, so he might as well grab everything he can. Awkwardly juggling the boxes, carton, and fruit bowl, Tony is about to turn to the elevator when he remembers that you need things to eat cereal with, and he truly has nothing upstairs. Not wanting to make more than one trip, Tony is trying to decide what items need to be sacrificed before he remembers something. Steve keeps all the old plastic shopping bags in the cupboard under the sink, so they can be reused. Tony has made fun of him several times for this, but at the moment he couldn’t be happier.

The bags mean that he can steal more stuff from the fridge, and so Tony arrives back on his floor with a stash of food and all the necessary eating tools. Because he’s only got a fridge and a sink, there’s no warm food, but Loki will just have to live with it. Dinner can always be ordered in, so a cold breakfast and lunch should be bearable.  When the doors slide open, Loki is once again pacing back and forth in front of the elevator. He stops when he sees Tony, and eyes the bags curiously. Reaching into one, Tony tosses the god an apple, pushing past him to deposit the bags on the bar. Everything that needs to be refrigerated gets shoved unceremoniously into the mini-fridge, and everything else he just leaves in the bags. When he turns back, he sees that Loki is eyeing him strangely, twisting the apple in his hands. He doesn’t say a word, just stands there, and Tony feels mildly irritated. At least the god looks more rested.

“I’ve brought some food, as you can obviously see. There’s plenty of stuff to get you through breakfast and lunch.” Loki inclines his head, a silent acknowledgment as well as a slight gesture of thanks. It’s obvious to Tony that he’s not in much of a talking mood, so the engineer takes the time to look the god over. Loki’s finally changed out of his prison pants. It’s odd seeing him in sweats and an old tee, but Tony decides it isn’t half bad. In fact, a little part of him is thrilled to see Loki in his clothes. That little part is extremely loud, and Tony checks himself before his brief once-over becomes anything else. He’s man enough to admit that the god of mischief is extremely attractive. Or at least, he’s man enough to admit it to himself. Hell, he’d realized it when they had him in his glass box. He’d been halfway past aroused by the time Loki threw him out the window. Being turned on by things he really shouldn’t be turned on by is becoming one of Tony’s specialties, and unfortunately for Tony, Loki is beginning to dominate the list.

Mentally, Tony shakes himself. He goes to walk past the god and head to his bedroom, witty remark and horrendously punny nickname on the tip of his tongue, when he notices that Loki’s hair is pulled into a messy braid. It stuns him for a moment, because no way is a braid supposed to look that sexy on a guy. It just shouldn’t be allowed. Loki notices him staring and smirks. Tony tries for composure. Loki hasn’t even been over for two days, dammit!

Loki, however, decides not to let Tony leave so easily. “Have you been avoiding me, Stark?” His voice is teasing, and Tony has to fight the urge to grin.

“Nah, I’ve been working. Why, miss me much?”

“However did you know? I’m simply devastated without your presence.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm, and any efforts Tony was making to smother his smile are blown to bits. He laughs.

“It’s barely been two days! Are you bored already?”

The god sighs. “Yes, among other things.”

“Is there anything you want to do? I can pick up some books or something…”

“I will think on it.”

“Sure, whatever, just let me know. In the meantime, I’m going to sleep. See ya, Loki-motor.” Tony walks off with a wave, but not before he catches Loki’s shocked expression. Yup, the cheesy nicknames are definitely going to continue. 


	3. Assembling Their Philosophies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! So far this week by week thing is going well, and I hope this can continue! Sorry to say that this chapter is slightly shorter than my usual, but it seemed to end at a good place, so I don't think you guys'll be too disappointed. Thank you again for everybody that took the time to leave comments! You people make my day!

Loki has free reign of this floor. He can walk straight into Stark’s bedroom and slay him while he sleeps. He will not, but there is no way for Stark to know that. Loki can’t help but be impressed by the idiot human’s behavior.

Loki had told Stark that he is bored, and in some ways, the statement is true, but he can sit still and rest a while longer before the boredom truly becomes a problem. Loki begins to pace, resuming his path from earlier. He eats the apple as he goes, thankful to finally have food he’s familiar with. Pizza is not something he ever wants to repeat. Loki paces as he thinks about time limits. For some reason, Stark is willing to allow him time to heal, but once that is done, Loki doubts he’ll be allowed to walk free. The idea is much too hopeful. He will have to leave before Stark comes to his senses. When that may be, he does not know.

The god pauses and looks out the window. Midgardians work fast. There is little that remains from the horror and destruction he brought. There are scars, yes, but the wounds have healed. Impressive. Loki looks down at his arms where his own wounds are visible. Already, his skin is almost whole, marred only by the faint lines of healing scars and the burns. They reject his magic, but at least they are healing. The most he can do with them is block the pain. For the time being, it is enough, and for the time being, it is to his advantage. So long as he continues to look weak, Stark will allow him to stay. Once he leaves this place there will be no more chances to heal. He will be hunted more vigorously by Asgard and more unsavory beings; here he is virtually untraceable. Any magic he uses is covered by the residual energy from the portal. Once he leaves, anytime he uses magic it will act as a flare until he regains enough power to create wards. Whether or not he will have that power anytime soon is indecisive. His escape shattered his magical reserves, but he can and will recover.

 

The god looks back to where Stark had disappeared off to. The horrendous nickname comes back to him, as does the idiot human’s crazed grin. In his long life, Loki has garnered many titles and nicknames, Silver-tongue and Lie-smith among them, but never has anyone turned his name into a joke. The look on Stark’s face promised this wouldn’t be the last name, and the god is surprised to find himself chuckling with an amused smile on his face. He likes this mortal. Humming to himself, Loki walks back to his own room. At least his time here will be anything but boring.

*****

Tony meant to sleep. He really did, but lying in his bed now, Tony is doing anything but. He’s itching to be moving or working or something, but he’s been down in the lab for so long that it was only a matter of time before Steve would come down to kick him out. Besides, if Steve thought Tony’s sleep deprivation was endangering the team or any other sort of nonsense, then Tony’s coffee machine might end up banned as well, and that is unacceptable. Tony’s thoughts shift to Loki and he squirms uncomfortably. The god is seriously attractive, and his sarcasm is only making Tony notice that more. His new mantra of “it’s only been two days” is starting to sound weak, especially since Tony’s been known to sleep with people after only an hour. Then again, they weren’t super villains who were bent on ruling the world, but hey, it’s not like Tony’s in any position to judge.

No, hitting on Loki is probably the quickest way to die, especially if Loki doesn’t want his attention. Whatever, Tony is a grown man. He can resist temptation as well as the next guy. He can also flirt shamelessly without really meaning anything, so that’s an option too. Besides, if Loki is going to flirt with him, he sure as hell is going to flirt right back. Of course, imagining what kind of expression the god would have if Tony took him up on any offers (sarcastic or otherwise) is enough to set Tony chuckling. The smile is still on his face as he falls asleep. For the first time in a long time, Tony sleeps a solid eight hours. He doesn’t dwell on it, because only idiots question a good thing, and after a quick shower he goes to check on his resident god of mischief.

The door is open, and so Tony peeks in. Loki is awake and staring at the ceiling. There is a small furrow in his brow and he’s lying across the bed as if he’s just thrown himself down. His eyes flick over to Tony, but he doesn’t otherwise move. Or blink. It makes Tony feel very awkward, and so he gives a pathetic little wave. Loki’s only response is to return to staring at the ceiling. Deciding that he is probably not wanted, Tony makes a hasty exit, fleeing to the safety of his lab.

Feeling sour and with no explanation as to why, he brings up the suit’s schematics and the modifications he started while he was drunk. He doesn’t actually remember what he’d been working on, which is why he didn’t bring them up sooner. Looking at them now, Tony whistles. They’re not bad, not bad at all. Even while he’s drunk, Tony Stark is a genius. It’s been so long since he’s had something truly fun to work on, and Tony quickly loses himself in the calculations. The first failed simulation fills him with glee. He finally has something challenging to work on. This new idea for the suit is making him pull out all the stops, and there’s nothing like the thrill of creating and solving problems. Time slips away from him as Tony works on his suit, only stopping once or twice for coffee.

Instead of fancy new weaponry or targeting systems, Tony works on adding reinforcements. A light-weight synthetic copy of the vibranium alloy used for Captain America’s shield should theoretically make parts of the suit impenetrable. ‘Should’ being the key word. Rendering the design to the specifications of the suit is proving to be difficult, and for some reason the new alloy interferes with the repulsors. He’d originally planned on adding the vibranium to the parts of his suit that see the most action, namely his gauntlets, boots, chest, back, and head. The way things are going now, he can really only attempt the back plate and his helmet. It’s pretty good, but Tony knows he can do better.

Sometime during his work frenzy Tony looks up and notices a sandwich and water. The whole setup screams ‘Steve’, and Tony wonders how much of this good deed is triggered by guilt. Steve has been tiptoeing around Tony ever since the ban on alcohol. Even while he was sulking Tony would take time out of his busy schedule to snap at Steve. Now, nearly two weeks after the ban, Steve refuses to lift it, which is ridiculous in Tony’s opinion. He’s a grown man and he can decide for himself whether or not he’s drinking too much. Steve doesn’t agree, and neither does Natasha, though Tony has a feeling she’s found out about the bar in his lab. She’s left it alone so far, and Tony thinks it’s kind of insulting when the master assassin believes he’s capable of control and his best friend doesn’t. Tony even went so far as to remind Steve that he can still go out and drink. The super-soldier had only pressed his mouth into a thin line and asked him not to. Tony had had half a mind to scream that he does what he wants and stomp from the room, but all in all, Steve is only trying to help. Tony doesn’t need the help, and Steve is going to have to realize that sooner or later, but he could do worse in a friend. He eats the sandwich and considers forgiving Steve for the whole alcohol thing, but then the sandwich is gone and his work consumes his mind once more.

He feels he’s getting close to the answer he needs, and after another simulation explodes Tony is hardly discouraged. There is something missing in his calculations and it’s hiding somewhere just out of reach.

“Sir, Dr. Banner is on his way down to the lab.” Tony stops his work, surprised. Unless they’re working on a problem together, he and Bruce usually stay in their own labs. Bruce isn’t unwelcome in his, and Tony had even offered to share the space, but Bruce had politely declined. Where Tony likes to work amidst deafening noise and chaos, the doctor likes his workspace the complete opposite.

Now that his concentration is broken and before Bruce can arrive, something else catches Tony’s attention. “Hey Jarv, how come you announced Brucie but let the good Captain slide in unnoticed?”

“Captain Rogers asked if he could come in quietly, and I saw no reason to deny him, sir.”

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. Steve has clearance for that, doesn’t he?”

“Yes, sir. You gave it to him after you passed out in the lab two months prior.”

Tony hisses, swinging around in his chair. “I thought we agreed we weren’t going to discuss that anymore! I want that story to die and stay dead!” Passing out from lack of sleep and food was not one of Tony’s finer moments. Luckily, only Steve was in residence at the time, and equally lucky, the guy can keep a secret. If Clint had been home Tony would have never heard the end of it. As a result, Tony decided to give Steve general lab access. Unless specified otherwise, the super-soldier can just pop in and out as he pleases.

Why Bruce wants to visit him is beyond Tony, but he’s not going to complain about the company. He runs the simulation one more time, and Bruce arrives in time to watch the suit explode. Tony has it running in slow motion, so it’s clear to anyone with eyes that the combustion begins when the repulsors are fired. Even after most of the suit is mostly destroyed, the explosion keeps going, seeming to amplify at a certain point. “How big is the explosion?”

Tony shrugs. “It’s pretty small until it hits the arc reactor and the chest repulsor. Then it kind of reaches a nuclear scale.”

Bruce snorts, shaking his head. “Only you would use ‘kind of’ and ‘nuclear’ in the same sentence.”

Tony laughs. “What can I say, I’m a special snowflake.” Bruce chuckles and a comfortable silence springs up between them. Bruce sets up at a vacant screen near Tony, bringing up his own work. Having a shared server makes things like accessing work easier, and because it’s Tony’s server, the work is practically untouchable. Both he and Bruce have private servers with more security than government secrets, but they like to use a more open server for shared projects, or in Bruce’s case, the work he doesn’t mind S.H.I.E.L.D. sticking their ugly noses into.

Strangely, whenever Bruce feels like having a serious conversation with Tony, he prefers to do it as they work. Tony doesn’t really mind, and he personally thinks Bruce is on to something. The work, while distracting, keeps Tony from getting bored. He tries not to, but his mind moves almost too quickly for his mouth to keep up, let alone avoid boredom. Anyone who knows anything would much prefer a distracted Tony over a bored Tony. A board Tony is destructive, verbally or otherwise. A distracted Tony is still rude, unless he really likes whoever is talking to him, and is more likely to make it to the end of the conversation. Distraction was one of the many methods that Pepper had used to get Tony to sign off on paperwork and sit through board meetings.

Now that she’s left, though, most of Tony’s paperwork just appears in his lab, courtesy of Steve or whichever grunt had been bullied into it from the lower levels, marked with sticky notes where he was supposed to sign. He’s got a board meeting next week that the two of them have to attend together, and Tony is not looking forward to it. Not only has he not gotten so much as a single email from her since she left, but Pepper is going to be on edge. If Tony knows her at all, then he’s positive that either everything he does is going to make her angry or she will ignore him unless she absolutely has to address him. Actually, knowing Pepper, Tony has a feeling it will probably be both.

“Hey, Tony,” Bruce says, pulling Tony out of his thoughts, “is it just me, or do you feel like something’s off?”

Tony’s mind instantly jumps to Loki, and he turns from his screen to watch Bruce carefully. “What do you mean?”

Bruce keeps his eyes on his own screen, typing away as he answers. “This whole thing with Loki. Something feels off. I personally think that he gave into the Other Guy way too easily.”

Tony relaxes slightly. Bruce doesn’t suspect, then. “What do you mean easily? You broke his spine!”

“Yeah, and then I left him there and he healed and he was still there when we got back.”

“Oh. Yeah. I see your point.” Tony thinks about Loki’s original capture. At the time, he was too relieved to question anything. He was alive, New York was safe, end of problem. In all honesty, Tony probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind. In between the explosion and falling back into the portal, Tony caught a glimpse of the nothing-ness the Chitauri fleet floated in. Never in all of Tony’s life had he ever seen a blackness so complete. Even now, months later, Tony still shudders at the memory. Despite the complete emptiness of the place, Tony felt some disturbing presence lurking in the darkness. Thankfully, Natasha had waited long enough before closing the portal. Tony is immensely happy that Selvig had kept enough of himself to build a safety into the device. Without Loki’s staff, the portal might have stayed open long enough for more than the Chitauri to get through. Whether or not something would is another matter entirely.

“Wait! Loki’s staff! Steve said Tasha found it on my landing platform. Loki would have definitely seen her go and get it, right?”

“Yes, definitely, but he stayed lying in his crater. Why would he just let her?”

“I’ve got no clue. You said it yourself, bag of cats.”

Bruce chuckles at the use of his simile. It has become a favorite among his fellow Avengers. “And now he’s loose.”

Tony turns back to his own work. “Yup.” They continue working in silence, each scientist with something heavy on their mind. Bruce is right. The circumstances of Loki’s capture don’t make sense, especially after the whole ‘kneel before me’ spiel. Looking back on it, it would’ve made so much more sense if Loki fought tooth and nail the entire way, but instead the god went quietly, his request for a drink the last they heard out of him, even before they put him in the muzzle. Considering he’d done nothing but talk since he arrived on Earth, his silence probably should’ve been worrying. Instead, tired and hungry, they’d handed Loki off to S.H.I.E.L.D. and went off for shawarma. It hadn’t taken much to figure out that he’d initially wanted to be captured by them, infiltrating the base and scattering them and all that, but to be intentionally caught a second time? Something isn’t adding up.

Turning back to his work, Tony files away the questions for later. Maybe he can get the answers directly out of Loki. He doesn’t notice Bruce leaving, but a couple hours after that a wave of exhaustion suddenly hits him, and Tony stops his work. Looking at a clock, Tony is shocked to find that he worked throughout the night and the entirety of the day. It is now night again, and he spends a couple seconds worrying about whether or not Loki at dinner the day before. Reluctantly, Tony packs up his work. “Jarvis, render the fifth prototype, the one with the helmet and major back plates made of the alloy and incorporate them into the current suit. I’ll figure out the rest later.” An impenetrable helmet and failsafe protection against backstabbing is good enough for now.  Mildly satisfied, Tony makes his way back to his floor.

Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, Loki is pacing once again. The difference is, this time he’s pacing through their impromptu kitchen, munching on an apple. Despite the apple, he reminds Tony of a lion in a cage. Well, less of a lion, maybe, and more like a panther. Lions are too much like Thor: loud and out in the open. Panthers stalk and manipulate you from the shadows, and they get you so confused that you’re dead before you see them coming. Not as obvious as lions, but no less dignified. Also, maybe a bit more dangerous. Loki stops pacing when he notices Tony, but still says nothing. Instead, he looks Tony over, eyes narrowed in such a way that makes Tony feel like he’s being studied.

“Uh,” he clears his throat awkwardly, “did you eat dinner yet or do you want to order something in?” Instead of answering, Loki tosses his apple core in the trash and settles on a bar stool. He waves his hand magnanimously, and the move clearly says _do whatever you like._ Tony has Jarvis order Chinese and then sits on the couch, across the room from the god. The horrendous silence seems to increase, spreading to all corners of the room. Loki continues to stare at Tony, and Tony tries, unsuccessfully, not to squirm.

“Like what you see?” Tony’s never been one for silence.

Loki blinks, and then lifts a single brow. “That depends, where do you think I’m looking?”

“At me, obviously,” Tony scoffs. “I’m just too attractive, people can’t take their eyes off me!”

The corner of the god’s mouth quirks up. “Is that so? You seem quite… average, for a mortal.”

“This coming from the guy who walks around in horns?”

“Why is it that you are all so obsessed with my helmet?”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You walk around in giant gold horns. You’ve got to admit, that’s kind of strange.”

“Hardly. In Asgard, my helmet was considered quite austere. You, on the other hand, fly around in a red and gold suit. For a man who is called Stark, you certainly are ostentatious.”

“It’s called class, Rudolf. My suit is classy.”

“As is my helmet. How this is supposed to prove your attractiveness is beyond me, however.”

Tony smirks. “You have a one-track mind. See? Can’t stop thinking about me.”

“Yes, you’re right. I am thinking that you’re quite short as well.”

Tony can’t help it, his jaw drops. “Hey now, that’s just rude! I’m not that short, and I am damn sexy to boot!”

Loki leans forward, setting his elbow on his knee and resting his head on his fist. “Why don’t you prove it?” He purrs the words, making them a challenge.

“Are you asking me to seduce you?”

“You can try.”

“Are you prepared to end up in my bed?” The god throws back his head and laughs. He can count on one hand the amount of times he’s heard it, but Tony’s got to admit, he really likes the sound. The fact that Loki’s laughing at Tony is of little consequence. “Fine, whatever, be that way.” Even after the food arrives, Loki continues to chuckle here and there. Tony thinks he should be offended—he’s damn sexy!—but he’s decided long ago to just accept it.

Loki, apparently not in the mood for conversation, lets supper pass in near silence. Once he’s finished eating, the god gives Tony a quick nod of thanks before heading back to his own room. Evening meals follow this pattern for the next couple of days, Loki clearly with something on his mind, and Tony trying to roll with it. Needless to say, many of these suppers are quiet and slightly awkward, as neither Tony nor Loki is sure what they should do with the other.

As one can expect, Tony quickly grows bored of this, and his curiosity gets the better of him, so he approaches Loki in his room one morning.

 

*****

 

“Uh, if you’re not busy, do you want to come down to the lab with me?” Loki is surprised by Tony’s request, but he doesn’t show it. The human gets a single raised eyebrow as a response, and Loki watches delightedly as Stark begins to squirm, hurrying to elaborate. “Well, you said that you’ve been bored up here—and I can’t promise that the lab will be any more interesting—but it’s got to be better than being stuck up here for the foreseeable future.” Curiosity blooms in Loki’s mind. The human wants to take him to his workshop, the place where he builds his weapons and defenses. It is worth seeing, not because Loki has any wish to sabotage him—though the information could help—but because Stark’s technology is fascinating in general. Loki will never admit this, not while he still has breath in his lungs, but Stark is leaps and bounds ahead of this pathetic race, perhaps even more advanced than some of Asgard’s top intellectuals. This workshop is where Stark practices his craft, and Loki is curious.

“Perhaps. I should think you wouldn’t want me in your lab, what with all your projects left strewn around.” Loki smirks. “I might see something.” He says the last few words as a challenge, knowing Stark will rise to the occasion. Surprisingly, the human just grins, as if he knows exactly what Loki is trying to achieve. This is new. Loki has millennia of experience in lying, or, as he heard in his brief time on Midgard months ago, ‘keeping a poker face’. He knows his expression hasn’t slipped, he knows he only looks to be mildly tolerant of Stark’s presence, but the human is acting as if he can sense Loki’s interest. Again, this is new, and Loki feels strangely light. How odd to find a mortal that can see what he means with the barest of hints after only having known him for a week. Thor still can’t tell, and he’s had eons of practice.

“There’s nothing out that I don’t really mind you seeing. I don’t leave anything Avengers related lying around, security protocols and all that, and right now I’m really only working on a suit prototype, which I guess you probably shouldn’t see but all it’ll do is explode anyways so I’m not too worried about that.” Streams of words pour out of the mortal’s mouth, and he barely pauses for breath before another thought grabs his attention. “Oh, and I should probably tell you that the lab’s security isn’t the best, at least where all my team members are involved. Steve keeps bringing me food, and Clint tries to sneak in whenever he gets bored—not that he’s ever been successful or anything, but maybe one day he’ll actually get in through the vents or something—but the only real way in or out is through the elevator, so I guess maybe you can hide if anyone comes in?” Stark pauses, blinks, and suddenly looks a bit sheepish, as if he’s only just caught up with anything he just said. “Okay, uh, that sounds horrible, huh? Uh, maybe this isn’t the best idea…”

Loki is having trouble hiding his amusement. “Do you ever stop babbling?” He remarks dryly.

Stark shrugs. “Sometimes. Mostly people just ignore me or tell me to shut up when they can’t. Usually they just look lost when I’m talking to them.” That Loki finds hard to believe. Every thought and emotion flits across the mortal’s face. So long as one pays attention, he is as easy to follow as a path in the woods.

“What of Thor? Does he ever visit your workshop?”

Tony shudders, and Loki wonders what the big oaf did when he went down. It was probably something horrible, knowing Thor. “He did come down once, but it was awful. Nope, Thor’s been banned unless emergency says he needs to be down there. I don’t think we’ll be seeing him. Why?”

“He may be an idiot, but even Thor would be able to sense me if we were in the same room.” Loki keeps his words deliberately vague, wondering how much the mortal is able to keep up with. He watches as the human fidgets for a minute or two, clearly wondering where to take the conversation next, when something catches his attention. Loki is ready for the question before Tony asks it.

“You keep saying ‘sense’. I get that you can sense Thor, because you have your mojo and everything, but how can Thor sense you? Can he smell you or something?”

Loki snorts. Smell indeed. He briefly wonders where Stark even comes up with half the things he says, and then wonders whether he says half the things he thinks. “Can you smell me?”

Tony’s sheepish grin is back in full force. “Not at the moment,” he says cheekily.

Loki stifles a chuckle. “Well neither can Thor. Long life and magic may be something the Æsir do possess, but we smell things much the same way you do. To answer your question, Thor does possess some magic. He was trained in rudimentary skills, much to his displeasure, but the most the oaf can manage is a small fire.”

“Huh. Okay, I guess that makes sense.” Stark looks like it doesn’t make sense at all. Loki hides a smirk. The idiot human is too prideful to ask for an explanation, it seems. However, knowing Stark, Loki has a feeling that his curiosity will win over sooner or later. “So, are you coming to the lab or not?”

Deciding that he hasn’t teased the human nearly enough, Loki gives him a scathing look. “After you told me of all the people who parade through it?”

Stark looks noticeably disappointed, which surprises Loki. “Well sorry for trying to keep you entertained. I thought it’d be fun.” For some reason, he’s eager for the two of them to spend time together. The theories Loki has been considering fly to the forefront of his mind, but the god pushes them back. The idea is a myth, nothing more. Keeping up his show of skepticism, Loki huffs and crosses his arms, the very picture of reluctance. “Well, whatever.” Stark’s tone is sullen, and Loki hides a smile. “I’ll be in the lab if you need me. See you later Lo-kitty.” The nickname barely leaves the mortal’s mouth before he’s sprinting from the room. Loki makes an indignant noise, prompting Stark to laugh gleefully. That is, until Loki stalks out of his room, heading straight for Tony.

“Who gave you permission to leave, Stark?” Loki refuses to even acknowledge the ridiculous nickname.

Trying and failing to smother his laughter, Stark eyes the god cheekily. “I did. My tower my rules, Reindeer Games.” The elevator doors slide open and the human steps in quickly. Before the doors close, Loki steps in too, much to Stark’s surprise.

“I do believe that one’s your favorite.”

Stark grins. “What? Reindeer Games? How can it not be, what with your giant horns and all?”

Again, Stark goes off with this obsession with his helmet. “My helmet looks nothing like reindeer antlers.”

“That’s not the point. You know that you’ll have to hide if anyone comes in, right?”

Loki waves his hand dismissively. “So long as Thor does not come I will be undetectable. Unless you can’t keep up a charade?”

The mortal just gives him a look. “Funny.” The rest of the elevator ride is quiet, but as soon as they enter the lab, Stark perks up. “Jarvis, make sure the security footage is erased and alert me the moment someone even looks like they’re coming down to the lab.”

“Of course, sir. If I may make a suggestion?” The voice intrigues Loki to no end. Stark created it, that much is clear, but it is obviously sentient. Stark treats it like a friend.

“If it has anything to do with telling someone that Loki’s here, don’t bother.” The voice remains suspiciously quiet, and Stark sighs. “Bring up my suit schematics, Jarv.” Diagrams and calculations flash up around the mortal, and Loki steps closer. It looks like he’s surrounded by illusions. Without being prompted, a simulation starts playing, noticeably slowing when the suit begins to explode. Stark watches avidly before turning back to his calculations, his fingers flying through the air around him. Not having expected something like this, Loki sits on a stool, watching Stark work. There is not a single wasted movement, and Loki is impressed by the mortal’s skill. It takes years of practice to learn how to properly manipulate illusions as if they were substantial. Not only has Stark managed this, but he probably designed and built everything he’s using.

Loki must admit, he is impressed.


	4. Gnashing Teeth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a brand new week and a brand new chapter! Hello again, my lovely readers, you're all looking as beautiful as ever! As per my usual, thank you to everyone who has commented on my work! I've only recently realized that a couple of you guys have left comments on every chapter, and I must say that your dedication warms my heart! Thank you, thank you, thank you, and please enjoy!

Working while Loki watches him in the lab is a new experience. Before he knows it, Tony begins to talk out loud, gesturing to his work and turning to Loki every now and then. He’s not really explaining anything, it’s more like he’s thinking out loud, but Loki is keeping up all the same. Tony is surprised to find that he’s enjoying himself. Loki nods and replies in all the right places, and his eyes don’t glaze over like Steve’s do when Tony gets especially caught up in his tech talks.

Surprisingly, Loki knows a lot about physics, and he is able to point out some of the minor flaws in Tony’s recent set of calculations. The major flaws, well, they’re both stumped as to those. When Tony asks Loki about his familiarity with science, the god shrugs. “I know you see my magic as little more than finger wiggling, but in order for it to work, I need to understand how the universe works. I bend the world around me to my will, a skill that would be useless if I didn’t know where to push.”

Tony is skeptical about that. “So what you’re saying is that magic and science aren’t that different from each other?”

Loki merely shrugs in response. “In a sense, yes, though I doubt I could convince you.” That comment makes Tony looks up from his screens, his expression turning curious. Magic has always been something that doesn’t exist, and until the invasion, the weirdest thing Tony had any experience with was himself. Now, though, he’s got a magician sitting in his lab. A real god from another planet, capable of using magic. Somebody he can study. If magic and science are as close as Loki says, maybe Tony can figure it out. He is a genius, after all.

“What are you thinking, Stark?”

“I’m thinking that I could modify some of my scanners to pick up your voodoo. Then we can have you fire away and get some energy readings. If there are any. Which, going on what you said, I assume there will be. The only problem will be detecting them, but that’s not much of a problem. Then we can see how much science your finger wiggling really is.” Before Loki can respond, Tony swings back to his screen and waves away the suit designs. “Jarvis, open up a new project file, private server and all that.”

“What shall I call this file, sir?”

“Mojo Scanner Mark I.”

“How creatively mature, sir.” Tony lets loose a long suffering sigh before turning back to Loki.

“What?” The god is looking at him strangely, green eyes searching.

“Why would you bother designing a scanner to study magic that you cannot use?”

“Why not? I want to see if I can figure out how it works. Magic is an unknown for me, and I want to know.” Almost a minute passes while the god continues to stare at Tony. “What? Seriously, you’re freaking me out. Am I not allowed to be curious?”

Loki shakes his head. “You are one of the first that are.”

Tony blinks, taken aback. “Seriously? You can do all sorts of mojo stuff and nobody was ever curious? Are you average on Asgard or something?”

A bitter laugh escapes the god’s lips. “The opposite, actually. Magic is traditionally a woman’s art, and it is rare for a male to be born with magic, even more so for a male born with as much magic as I possess. The Allfather is the exception, as is Heimdall, the gatekeeper, but it is otherwise unheard of.”

“So there are no guy magicians?”

“Magicians perform tricks. We are sorcerers.”

“Okay, sorcerers,” Tony hurries to correct. “No dudes?” Tony finds the idea utterly ridiculous. He thinks magic is pretty awesome.

“There are several male sorcerers, but they remain out of the public eye and are not as respected as the females are.”

This explanation only serves to confuse Tony more. “If guy sorcerers are so rare, wouldn’t they be more respected? Supply and demand and all that crap?”

“No. In fact, it is considered distasteful, even shameful, for men to practice magic. For this reason, they hide.”

“Well that sucks. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you don’t seem like the hiding type.”

Loki’s smile is completely cold, without an ounce of warmth. “I am not.”

“But Thor says you’re one of the most powerful sorcerers in Asgard.”

Loki’s smile grows wider. “Not one of. I _am_ the most powerful, excepting perhaps Heimdall.” Loki looks down, suddenly interested in cleaning his nails. “I was never one to hide my successes.”

It doesn’t take long for Tony to figure out what he means. “They hated you, didn’t they?”

Eyes flashing, Loki meets Tony’s gaze. “Oh yes. Scorned, ridiculed, ignored by fellow sorcerers, and many other things. Only my mother was ever truly accepting of it, and sometimes Thor.”

“What do you mean sometimes Thor? I thought so said he has magic too.”

Loki scowls. “He does, but none would dare insult him. Besides, he doesn’t use it. Thor accepted my magic when it was convenient for him. I’ve used it to save our lives on more than one occasion, but if Sif and the Warriors Three saw fit to mock me he did not defend me, nor did he resist adding in his own comments. A warrior is only successful if he fights _honorably._ ” At the end of his rant, Loki turns away, fists clenching and unclenching. In all honesty, Tony feels sorry for him, but he knows better than to say so. He knows exactly how Loki feels.

Tony started university when he was thirteen. The professors had only put up with him until they realized he was smarter than them, and the other students outright hated him. The only reason he’d even stayed in school long enough to graduate was because he was Howard Stark’s son, and so they couldn’t really do more than talk, which is probably exactly what happened to Loki, since he’s a prince. Here, though, is where their stories change. Once Tony was free of the horror that is school, he was—and is—praised worldwide for his genius. He might not have done it in the best way, but Tony went on to live his life exactly how he wanted to live it. Loki, on the other hand, probably received no such blessing. The more skilled and powerful he became, the more he was probably hated, and this, Tony suddenly realizes, may well have carried on for _centuries._ In fact, it’s probably still carrying on, and the thought makes Tony sick.

“Well that’s stupid. You’re mojo is some seriously cool shit. Asgardians have the dumbest logic. What do you say, Lo-lo? Can I study your magic?”

For a second, Loki looks shocked before he manages to smooth his expression into one of indifference. “If you wish, though you may have to wait a while. My ‘mojo,’ as you so lovingly call it, is seriously depleted.”

“How serious is serious?”

“Anything more than I am doing now would probably kill me, as I am already stretching my limits.”

Tony frowns, typing up some theories. “What are you doing now?”

“Healing, mostly.”

“I thought healing was just a part of being Asgardian?”

“It is, to an extent.”

“Ah, okay. That makes sense. Does healing take a lot of energy? How does it work?” Tony’s curiosity is bubbling over, and even as they talk his fingers fly across the keys, typing out his own theories and modifying them as new information comes in.

“The level of energy required depends on the injury, but typically not much is needed.” Loki anticipated Tony’s next question and answers it before the engineer can even ask. “Though I do possess ample amounts of power, my escape from Asgard shattered my magical reserves. As such, I cannot manage much magically at the moment. Magic, like the body, has limits. I should be able to perform small spells in another week or so.”

Tony nods his head in understanding, crossing out a section in his work. He had been thinking that magic could be drawn from a source, but according to Loki, the sorcerer is the source. “And like your body, your magic will recuperate?”

Loki nods, hiding a smirk at the obvious excitement in Tony’s face. Well, he attempts to hide it. “Cool, okay, so we let you recuperate and in the meantime you teach me about theory.”

“Theory?” Loki echoes, his surprise evident. “You wish to learn, even after I’ve told you that you cannot use it and that it is a woman’s craft?”

“I’m man enough to admit what I want.” Tony’s smirk is answered by Loki’s grin.

“Yes, but are you man enough to take it?” He challenges, stepping closer.

“That depends, you offering?” Loki’s face is mere inches away from Tony’s, close enough that he can feel the god’s cool breath.

“Perhaps,” Loki murmurs.

“Sir, Agent Romanov is heading down to the lab.”

“Way to cock block, Jarvis,” he mumbles before his eyes go wide and he glances towards the elevator. “So, I know you don’t really like hiding…”

“But it would be inconvenient if Romanov found me,” Loki finishes, casting his eyes around the room. Spotting a hazardous materials cabinet, Loki sighs. It’s half empty and locks from the outside, and the god walks over to it and opens the door. “Lock this once I’m in it, but know that if you decide to leave me here or speak of this to anyone, I will not hesitate to kill you.”

“Noted.” It’s the first death threat that he’s given Tony since the window incident, and like the window incident, it doesn’t do much by the way of fear. Still, a death threat from a god is no idle thing, and so Tony does what he’s told, securing the lock and throwing himself back into his chair. Jarvis has helpfully switched the designs on the screens, hiding Tony’s magic research and showing the suit specs again. Belatedly, Tony realizes that the lab is quiet, and that’s usually the first marker for anybody that something isn’t quite right, but it’s too late now, the elevator doors are already sliding open, revealing Natasha.

“Sir, Agent Romanov has arrived,” Jarvis helpfully announces, as if Tony couldn’t hear the doors opening in the near silence of his lab. He doesn’t look up from his suit modifications, nodding in a distracted way like he usually would. He doesn’t hear her move, but soon Natasha is standing beside him, running a critical eye over his work. They both stay silent until the current simulation explodes, and then Tony lets out a sigh—he really thought this one was going to work—before turning to Natasha.

“Hey Tasha, what brings you down here?” The question is barely out of his mouth before she narrows her eyes at him.

“You’ve stepped up security.”

“Of course I have, Loki’s loose! What did you expect me to do?” The words are both the truth and a lie.

“You know as well as I do that locked doors mean nothing to a god that can teleport.” Stepping back, she looks around the lab before settling her gaze back on Tony. “You know something.”

It’s not a question, and Tony doesn’t bother denying it. Instead, he chooses a different tactic. “Doesn’t it seem strange to you?”

She looks at him carefully. “Doesn’t what?”

She knows something too, but Tony isn’t sure what. “Think about it. It hasn’t been a year since we put him behind bars and he’s already out? I’m not claiming to know much about Asgardian tech, but if what Thor said was true, shouldn’t that have been able to hold him for a bit longer than that? I mean, they’re immortal. A year is probably nothing to them.”

Natasha frowns, studying him. “So what’s your point?” Even though her face is pretty much expressionless, Tony knows better. She’s probably already thought of this, and Tony would be disappointed if she hadn’t. He can tell she just wants him to say it, and so he does.

“Something doesn’t add up. I mean, wouldn’t here be his first stop? We haven’t heard anything, and even the local baddies have been quiet.”

“That’s not reassuring.”

“Nope, it’s downright suspicious. Doesn’t something about Loki’s escape and Thor’s non-explanation seem fishy to you?” Natasha doesn’t say anything, but hums thoughtfully. It’s as much of an answer as Tony suspects he’s going to get, and so he turns back to his computers, fiddling with the calculations again. Natasha really has eased up in the few months she’s been living at the tower, and Tony’s pleased to be able to call her a friend. At first, she wouldn’t show any hint of her true emotions or feelings, but now, to the experienced eye, her face is simple enough to read. What you read and what it actually means is never clear, but that’s just how Natasha is. She stays for a few more minutes before she goes to leave. Just before the elevator, the assassin pauses, turning back to Tony.

“You’re still hiding something.” The comment catches Tony off-guard, and he looks up from his work, surprised.

A self-deprecating smile spreads across his face. “Aren’t we all?” It’s not a lie, they all have secrets here. Natasha frowns slightly, more concerned by Tony’s tone than anything, but steps into the elevator without a word. It’s one of the biggest displays of trust she’s ever shown outside of the battlefield, and Tony is momentarily floored.

When the door slides shut over her sharp gaze, Tony slumps, into his chair, his relief palpable. Lying around Natasha is pretty much suicidal, and this dance of truths and half-truths and careful omissions is only slightly less dangerous. The fact that Natasha had shown any emotions at all is a good sign. If she had pulled out her interrogation face it would have probably meant that Tony was as good as dead. Still, she knows he hasn’t been entirely truthful with her, but it looks like she trusts Tony enough to know that he wouldn’t lie to her if it meant putting his friends in danger. A pang of guilt goes through Tony’s chest. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he doesn’t like lying to his friends. He didn’t like it when he was dying of palladium poisoning, and he doesn’t like it now. Of course, now it’s more than just Rhodey and Pepper. Now it’s Steve and Clint and Bruce and Tasha and Thor, and lying to Thor is like smacking a puppy. These people are as close to a real family that Tony’s ever had; a not-too-badly-fucked-up type of real family. Sure, they have their issues, and they all have their secrets, but maybe that’s why they work so well. It makes him feel dirty, lying to his family, but at least this time his secret is non-lethal. Or at least, he hopes it’s non-lethal.

He glances at the cabinet Loki’s been shoved into. Despite the god’s earlier death threat, Tony doubts Loki’s in much of a killing mood. He just seems tired, and Tony has a feeling that his lack of magic is only part of it. No, Loki is worth the lies. He doesn’t know why he thinks this, and he doesn’t much care. It’s been decided, and that is that. A feeble voice in the back of his mind whispers that it’s only been a week, but Tony ignores it. Bruce had become one of his best friends in less than four hours; time really doesn’t have much to do with anything.

“Sir, Agent Romanov has arrived on her floor. ‘The coast is clear,’ as Agent Barton would put it.” The AI’s announcement cuts through Tony’s internal monologue, and he jumps from his seat to unlock the cupboard. Even though he’s pretty sure Loki won’t hurt him, he doesn’t want to test his luck. As soon as he opens the lock, Loki steps out looking vaguely annoyed and distinctly unruffled.

Honestly, Tony is a little bit disappointed. How Loki manages to look so dignified all the time is beyond him. The few memorable times Tony’s been shoved into small places or hiding spots he’d pretty much stumbled out looking anything but dignified. Of course, those were very different situations. Tony wonders exactly what it would take to get the god to look disheveled, and a grin spreads across his face as a result. Loki looks unimpressed.

“Perhaps we should continue our earlier discussion upstairs? I’ve no desire to hide again, and I doubt you have much need of your equipment to discuss theory.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s a better idea. We’ll even order food! How do you feel about Thai?”

“So long as it is not pizza, I am sure it will be fine,” the god grumbles, making Tony chuckle.

“Seriously, I don’t know what you’ve got against pizza! Pizza’s great!”

“I assure you, the only thing worse is Thor’s cooking.”

The words make Tony shudder, memories of charred lumps, acrid smells, and a destroyed kitchen running through his mind like war flashbacks. After two such incidents, Thor had been banned from the kitchen unless under direct supervision.

Tony has Jarvis put in an order for Thai, getting a bit of everything so Loki can pick out what he likes. The elevator ride is a quiet one, but it’s not an unpleasant quiet like a few of the earlier days had been filled with.

After Natasha’s unusual visit, though, Tony should have known better than to expect the rest of his evening to run smoothly. No, Tony had only just sent the delivery guy back down to the lobby when Jarvis informs him that Thor is looking for him. Loki offers no help, ignoring Tony completely and picking skeptically at a container of noodles.

The thing is, Tony likes Thor, he really does, but he does not want to see him at the moment. Under regular circumstances he usually avoids talking with Thor one on one because unless they’re talking about fights, the big guy doesn’t understand half the words that come out of Tony’s mouth. Also, at the moment, Tony doesn’t know how involved Thor was in Loki’s imprisonment. Tony doesn’t know how Thor feels about torture, and he’s not sure he’d be able to stand being near him if the thunderer is okay with it. All negative things aside, Tony is really looking forward to Loki explaining magic, and so he ends up hovering between the elevator and the couch, unable to decide where he should go. Ultimately, Loki decides for him.

“If Thor has gone to the trouble of asking your computer for you, I suggest you go to him and see what he wants before the oaf decides to fly up and smash through your windows to find you.”

Tony groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Uh, yeah, I’ve had enough of gods smashing my windows.” Loki’s surprised laugh prompts Tony to smile in response before he turns back to the elevator. “Also, Jarvis isn’t a computer, he’s an artificial intelligence.”

“My apologies.” Tony isn’t looking at Tony, but he can hear the smirk on the god’s face.

Before Tony can respond, Jarvis cuts in. “Apology accepted, Mr. Odinson.”

Tony can’t help it, he bursts into laughter. His AI rarely sasses anyone but him, and hearing it used against Loki is too funny to ignore. He barely catches Loki’s request to be called by his first name only, and is still chuckling when he steps out on the common floor, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Steve.

“I’m glad you’re in a good mood.”

“Shouldn’t I be?”

The super-soldier fidgets, a nervous habit that carried over from what Steve refers to as his ‘smaller days.’ “No, uh, well… I’m just relieved, is all. You had me worried for a while, and even after you got off that damn couch, your eyes… They just looked empty. I’m just happy you’re feeling better after um… well after…” he trails off awkwardly, turning red and wisely avoiding mentioning Pepper. Steve hasn’t been this nervous around anyone for a while, and Tony begins to feel a little bad. Though he appreciates Steve’s concern, Tony’s never been one for heartfelt discussions, and so he does what he does best. He brushes away the subject with a smile and changes the topic of conversation. Judging by Steve’s slightly relieved expression, he made the right decision.

“So where’s Thor? Jarvis says he’s looking for me, and the elevator brought me here.”

“He’s in the kitchen,” Steve answers happily, and Tony pales.

“Alone?”

“Oh, gosh, no. He was sitting with me while I cooked. I’ve got enough for three, do you want to eat with us?” Steve looks horribly hopeful, and Tony wonders how many lonely meals the guy’s had before Thor showed up. His mind wanders back to Loki, picking through his food and navigating the chopsticks with relative ease, and sighs. There will be other opportunities to east with the god. Besides, as long as Steve is there, maybe Thor will hold off of whatever serious conversation he wants to have. It’s a cheap tactic for delaying the inevitable, but Tony will take what he can get.

“Sure. What’d you make?”

“Spaghetti and meatballs,” Steve answers happily, practically bouncing back into the kitchen. Tony feels a pang of guilt at the guy’s delight. He’s been a pretty lousy friend, and he’s been avoiding Steve since the whole alcohol thing. Deciding to try and at least pop in on Steve more, Tony walks into the kitchen to be greeted by the smell of pasta sauce and Thor’s glowering face. Tony can just tell that this conversation is going to be fun. Steve, oblivious to the tension between his friends, happily starts dishing out pasta, giving Thor one of the most enormous bowls of pasta that Tony has ever seen, giving himself a slightly smaller one, and finally giving Tony the smallest one of all. Absurdly reminded of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Tony almost breaks into hysterical laughter. Fighting the urge to ask Thor who’s been sitting in his chair, it’s a wonder Tony doesn’t just break down and laugh into the next century. The big guy most certainly wouldn’t get it.

Luckily, Steve sits between his team members, and the three tuck into their meal without incident. Thor is quiet throughout the whole dinner, barely paying attention to Steve’s chatter. Finishing his plate with surprising speed, the god is on his second helping before Tony’s even finished his first, making Tony wonder about the food he’d stashed for Loki. Large appetites and enormous portions are apparently an Asgardian thing, as opposed to a Thor thing like Tony had originally thought. Loki, surprisingly, has a love of sweet things, and Tony had had to stock up on Lucky Charms and other sugary cereals to keep him happy, and whenever desert’s available it’s added to their dinner orders. The god also loves fruit and vegetables to munch on, to the point where Tony has given up on pilfering them from the kitchen and just has groceries delivered straight to his floor. Now, instead of alcohol, Tony’s mini-fridge is filled with fruits and vegetables, something Tony never would have guessed would happen. He’s lucky he’s always been eccentric, or the others would probably be even more suspicious than they already are.

Predictably, Thor finishes before Tony, and the Asgardian glowers at Tony until he finishes his portion. Steve, finally catching on to the atmosphere around him, stops mid-sentence, glancing back and forth between his friends. Thor is the first to break the silence. “I thank you for the food, Steven, but I would speak with Anthony privately, so please excuse us.” He stands, looking pointedly at Tony before walking from the room. Tony catches Steve’s questioning look and shrugs before following Thor out of the kitchen. Ignoring the couch in the common area, Thor leads Tony to the stairwell, an extremely unused space that Tony only had built into the tower for emergencies.

Satisfied with the location, Thor turns around to face Tony, and of course, the first thing Tony does is complain. “Seriously? The stairwell? I have perfectly good couches, a perfect one in the TV room in fact, that you ignored.”

“I would prefer not to be overheard, and I feel that I would not be welcome on your floor.” The god’s gaze is sharp, and this conversation is making Tony nervous.

“Don’t feel bad, pretty much nobody is welcome on my floor right now.” To his surprise, Thor nods sadly, and his expression momentarily softens.

“Yes, Steven informed me about the Lady Pepper. I understand your wish for solitude, my friend. My brother was much the same after Sigyn.”

Not expecting this topic of conversation at all, Tony finds himself instantly curious. “Sigyn?”

“My brother’s wife.”

“He’s married?” His voice is shrill, but Tony can’t help it. He sounds incredulous and maybe a little upset. Thor, thankfully, doesn’t pick up on it.

“He was, centuries ago. Things became strained, and she ended the marriage.”

Leaning against a wall, Tony tries to fit this new idea into his image of Loki. The story sounds incomplete somehow, and Tony tries for more details. “You have divorce on Asgard? I thought you guys would be the ‘committed for life’ type.”

Thor looks shocked. “Of course we do. It is not common, but we do practice divorce. We live long lives, Man of Iron. It would be cruel to force an unhappy marriage to endure for millennia.”

“Oh. That makes sense. So what happened between them? Why did they split?”

Thor shakes his head. “It is not my story to tell, and not the reason I wish to speak with you.”

Tony sighs, hating to leave the topic alone. He’s got the primary source of information upstairs, but he’s got a feeling that the subject is probably taboo, and Loki most likely wouldn’t thank him for springing questions on him. “It’s not like I’m ever going to get the chance to ask him! C’mon, Thor, it’ll be a secret between buddies.” It’s a weak attempt at best, and the thunderer remains adamant.

“I would speak of other things, Anthony.”

Tony crosses his arms over his chest. “Okay, shoot. What’d you want to talk about?”

“Secrets, Anthony. As I said before, my brother was much the same.” Thor is wearing an enigmatic expression that makes Tony instantly uncomfortable. He likes it best when Thor is smiling or looking clueless. This sort of contemplative attention is an unusual look.

“O—kay. What’s your point?”

The thunderer narrows his eyes, analyzing Tony. “I am saying that your behavior is similar to Loki’s. Steven tells me that during the invasion you were the one who was able to predict my brother’s location. How did you know where he would go?”

Tony fidgets. This suddenly makes so much more sense. Thor thinks Tony’s been keeping secrets. He is, but not the kind that Thor suspects. “Well, just look at him! He attacked us all where we live, on the planet you’ve sworn to protect, and in what is unofficially the heart of America. He made it personal. Logically, my place was next.” His explanation must be lacking something, because Thor’s expression slips into more familiar territory.

“I do not understand.”

“How can you not understand?” Honestly, he knew Thor was kind of unobservant, but this is just ridiculous! Tony had only known Loki for maybe a grand total of five hours before he’d figured him out, and Tony hadn’t really even talked to him. “Thor, buddy, you’ve known Loki for how long, exactly?”

Thor shrugs. “I’ve known him for his whole life.” He still looks confused, like he doesn’t see where Tony’s going with this.

Tony, meanwhile, is mildly annoyed that Thor seems to be doing his best to keep actual numbers out of anything. “Okay, so you’ve known him for his entire life and you had no idea where he’d go?”

“My brother has always been a private person,” he says, as if it explains away any negligence on his part.

“Again, you’ve known him for centuries and you couldn’t figure out where he might possibly go? You kind of suck as a brother.”

Thor’s glower returns full-force. “I could not see what he wished to remain invisible.”

“And that’s because you obviously didn’t look! Loki doesn’t strike me as the hiding type.”

“He is a trickster. The shadows are his friends, and he walks in darkness. Loki fights by hiding.”

Tony scowls. “You know, I figured out his plan pretty easily. It didn’t look like he was hiding to me.” Thor’s description of Loki’s fighting style is making Tony angry. Loki seems like the kind of person to jump in and get the job done, never mind all of that honour crap. If he has to hide to get it done, who the fuck cares? There’s nothing wrong with the kind of efficiency Loki fights with. That’s how Tasha and Clint prefer to fight, and it’s damn lethal. Tony himself doesn’t even really fight. Without the suit he’s effectively useless, and he’s pretty sure everybody knows it. It’s one of the few self-doubts he has, and it’s why he kept the arc reactor, even when he could’ve removed it. It serves as a reminder.

“You did predict his movements, Man of Iron, and it is why I wanted to speak with you. When I brought news of his escape, you sounded like you knew more than you said. Do you have any idea where Loki might have gone?”

“Not really, but if I had to guess,” Tony begins, fully intending to lie but thinking better of it, “he’d go to the place where you’d never bother looking for him, I think.” It’s enough of the truth that it isn’t quite a lie.

Thor sighs and leans back against a wall, suddenly looking very tired. “You make it sound so simple, but with Loki it rarely is. I have thought of this also, but I have no idea where this place may be. He has all of the nine realms to choose from, as well as what lies between. I fear he has gone back to his allies.” Tony doesn’t want to point out that Loki would probably have just come to Earth and hidden as close to the Avengers as possible. He probably figured that Thor would come warn them first, and so they’d be on alert. Loki can do subtlety, and they probably wouldn’t know he was there until he struck. Loki’s here, of course, but not exactly by choice, so Tony’s theory is still valid. Thor’s theory, on the other hand, is way off, in Tony’s opinion.

“No, I don’t think those fuckers were his allies, per se.” Thor’s head flicks up and he eyes Tony, his face a mixture of confusion and interest. Tony, on the other hand, mentally kicks himself. He could’ve been done, he could’ve been on his way to talk magic with Loki, but when Thor mentioned the Chitauri, he remembered something. “I saw footage from when he first showed up at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. He looked awful.” Thor raises an eyebrow, and Tony takes a moment to organize his thoughts. It wouldn’t do to just spit up a jumble of words like he does with Bruce or Loki. Thor makes a terrible sounding board. “Listen, he was paler than his paper-white usual and he looked like he was horribly sick. Have you seen the footage?” Thor nods, and Tony exhales in relief. “Oh, good, so you saw how shitty he looked. Did you see his eyes?”

Again, Thor nods. “They were unnerving.”

“Of course they were. It’s called the ‘fresh from torture’ look. Very rad.” Weak attempt at sarcasm aside, Tony is glad to see his words definitely affect the god.

“Are you saying that he was forced into his actions?” He looks shocked, guilty, and hopeful at the same time.

“I’m not saying that everything wasn’t his choice, but I’m definitely saying he was tortured, maybe even driven to it.”

“You know this for certain?”

Tony shrugs. This isn’t a subject he’s comfortable with on the best of days. The others would never question him on it, but then he has to wonder if Thor knows. He probably doesn’t. “I’m pretty sure. I know Loki is the god of lies and all, but you can’t fake that look.”

Thor nods, the guilt in his face more pronounced. “This changes many things. Thank you, Anthony.”

Thor turns to leave, but Tony stops him. “Something happened when Loki escaped, didn’t it?” If it had just been a matter of Loki escaping, Tony is positive that Thor would’ve been angrier. As it is, Thor looks like a mixture of guilt and sadness with a smidge of anger thrown in. The god sighs, suddenly sounding old.

“You have keen eyes, my friend. I managed to witness part of Loki’s escape. I saw him for but a second, and it was more than enough time to become worried.” If Loki looked anything like he did when he showed up in Tony’s lab, it must have been quite the sight.

“Why? Other than your crazy little brother being unleashed on the universe, why were you worried?”

“I had seen my brother all but twice before his escape. When I brought him back, mother said I should give him time to heal and that I should leave him alone. Strangely, my father agreed. I did not question him, as I thought he was so much wiser than I.” Thor’s words come slowly, as if he himself still cannot believe they’re true. “On the day Loki escaped, I was going to visit him. It was in secret, of course, but I feared he’d think I had forgotten about him, so I went. That is when I received word that something wasn’t right.” The god stops talking, staring at the floor with focused intensity. Tony finds himself torn between comforting the guy, which would be a first for him, and shaking the rest of the story out of him. Thor has already answered so many questions, and Tony can guess what happens next, but he needs to hear Thor say it. Some nagging feeling tells Tony that Loki looked much, much worse before he showed up in the lab, bloody and broken. There must be something else to make Thor look so haunted.

When the god makes no move to continue, Tony decides he needs a little nudge. “What did you see?”

Thor looks up from the ground and meets Tony’s eyes. “Blood. So much blood. My brother was grievously injured while he was imprisoned.” This, Tony knows. Looks like big daddy Odin has been keeping secrets.

“By injured, I think you mean tortured.”

A dark look crosses Thor’s face. “Yes, by order of the Allfather. I do not know if Loki even survived the escape. Heimdall cannot see him and I am blind to his ways. There is a chance that my brother is already dead.” Raw grief finds its way into Thor’s voice, and Tony flinches away from its intensity. Clearly, Thor is suffering, and Tony is in just the position to fix that. All it would take is a few words; just enough to assure him that Loki is alive and kicking. Well, sleeping a lot, but definitely alive. But then Thor would ask him how he knew. If Tony even said he’d seen Loki Thor would demand to know when and where, and if Thor knows anything about magic, and Loki said he does, then he’d know that Loki is weak and probably still in the tower, and then all hell would break loose. Tony thinks about the mad Norse god he left upstairs and pictures the betrayal that will be on his face if Thor shows up. No, Tony can’t tell Thor. As much as he cares about the guy, he just can’t do that to Loki. In the long run, he hopes Thor will understand. In the meantime, Tony settles for second best: shaky reassurances.

“Listen, I’m sure he’s still alive. I mean, haven’t you heard half of your own legends? It’ll take more than losing blood to kill Loki.” Thor gives him a quizzical look that Tony doesn’t really understand until he remembers than he and Loki are supposed to be enemies. Oh well, the damage is done now. Eventually, Thor smiles, looking more than grateful for Tony’s words.

“I thank you for your words of comfort, Anthony. Most of my friends would wish him dead.” Which is probably why he’s been so quiet about it in the first place, Tony realizes. Why should he talk about his worries when everybody hopes he’s right? The engineer sighs. Give him machines any day, but people? He will never understand people.

“Thor, buddy, I don’t want your brother dead. Yes, I wanted him to face punishment for his crimes, but I didn’t want him tortured. I thought they’d just lock him up or something.”

“I too, thought this.” Silence falls between them. Thor is still brooding, the smile having slipped from his face, and Tony is fidgeting again. He wants to leave, Loki is upstairs and he thinks Thor said everything he wanted to, but the god hasn’t done anything to indicate whether or not he’s finished.

Tony waits a while longer, letting the silence sit awkwardly before he clears his throat. “So, um, if that’s everything?”

Thor nods absently, still thinking over their conversation. “Yes, thank you, Anthony.”

“Cool, see you later!” Tony makes a hasty exit, heading straight for the elevator.

Thor has given him a lot to think about. It looks like most of his worries have been proven wrong, and Tony’s relief is acute. He hadn’t realized how much he was hoping Thor wasn’t involved. His team is pretty much the entirety of his family, and to lose even one of them is unthinkable. Despite Thor’s casual insults towards Loki’s magic and habits, the guy seems genuinely worried about his brother. At least he’s got some good news for Loki.

Tony is thankful he’s an only child. True, he had a pretty shitty family life, but at least it’s just him that his parents fucked up. He can’t imagine what life might have been like if he’d had fucked up siblings as well.

Maybe they can count on Thor’s help when this secret comes out. Tony’s no idiot, he knows he won’t be able to hide Loki forever. Somebody is bound to find out, and Thor could be valuable for crown control. Maybe this conversation wasn’t such a bad thing after all. 


	5. Confessing Their Apostasies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! I can't tell you all how relieved I am to actually have this chapter up and finished! This past week has been pretty awful, and I've had no time to work on anything. To make matters worse, my passion for Harry Potter had been rekindled, and so a ton of my spare time has been devoted to watching movies and reading books. But, I finished this, and that is all that matters! I mention Norse myth/legends in this chapter, and I would like to say that I've botched them horribly to suit the story. If you've read them, my apologies, they had to be changed, and if you haven't, I recommend it. They're fascinating! Please enjoy, and thank you!

Feeling satisfied, Tony steps out of the elevator to find… nothing. Loki is nowhere in sight, and the Thai food has been cleaned up. Frowning, Tony walks down to hallway to Loki’s room. He’d been expecting the god to still be waiting, eager to know what had happened with Thor. Instead, Tony finds him flicking through one of Tony’s spare tablets. A familiar image crosses the screen amidst the rows of text, bringing Tony up short. “Are you reading Harry Potter?”

“I was bored and the Potter child amuses me.” He keeps reading, not even bothering to grace Tony with a look. Wondering how the hell Loki even discovered eBooks, let alone Harry Potter, Tony opens his mouth to ask him, but decides against it. There are worse things that he could’ve found Loki doing.

“So, I’ve got some news.” Might as well start off with Thor and get to magic theory later.

“I would assume it has something to do with the oaf being unable to find me?”

“Yeah, something along those lines. He mentioned Heimdall at some point, he can’t see you. Thor’s got no clue where you’ve run off to, and he wanted to know if I had any idea where you might’ve gone—”

“Why would he think you knew?” Loki finally looks up from the tablet, gaze narrowed. “Does he suspect?”

Tony shakes his head and waves his hand dismissively. “No, no, he just thinks we’re similar so I’d be able to guess your moves.”

Loki snorts derisively. “I hope you corrected him.”

“I didn’t bother, it would probably be too much for the guy.” Tony hesitates before quickly adding on his next thought. “He’s really worried about you.”

Loki sighs, looking back at the tablet. “He is worried for the destruction I will cause. He does not care about my health.”

“I don’t think you’re right. He looked pretty shaken up. He says he caught the tail-end of your escape.” Loki goes completely still, and Tony has a feeling that he just stepped on a land mine. Clearly, Thor left something out, if Loki’s statue impression is any indication.

“What did he see? What did he tell you?” He sounds deadly calm, and it immediately peaks Tony’s interest. There’s something more than family dynamics going on here.

“Nothing, really. He only said that there was a lot of blood, why? Was there something else going on?” Tony goes through his own memories of the night Loki showed up. Pretty much everything Thor said checks out, and Tony can’t really think of anything else… except for one thing.

“I tire of this. Leave, Stark, and we will speak of magic on the morrow.” Loki wants this conversation to be over, but Tony, of course, doesn’t know when to drop the subject.

“Is this about your blue bits? Because those are the only things that really stood out, and they were already receding by the time you showed up, so I figure you were even bluer when Thor saw you. Did that have anything to do with the temperature drop or was that something to do with your magic or both? Why are you glaring at me?”

“Out,” Loki growls, his glare icy enough to kill. Tony doesn’t move, and Loki’s face darkens. “Leave and forget these ridiculous questions, or they may bring forth a monster,” he spits, sitting up. Despite his half-healed burns, Loki looks more dangerous than a wild animal, but Tony refuses to back down.

“I doubt any monster of yours could frighten me.”

Something flashes in Loki’s eyes, but it was there and gone too quickly for Tony to figure out what it was. “Do not speak so quickly, Stark, lest I take it as a challenge.” Tony is about to spit back a retort, but Loki suddenly deflates. “Leave now, I am tired.” And he definitely sounds like it. Leaving is the last thing that Tony wants to do, but Loki is hovering so close to the edge and Tony doesn’t want to set him off. So, for what may be one of the first times in Tony’s life, he drops the subject and leaves. Loki’s door slams closed behind him and the sound of the lock clicking into place follows Tony down the hallway.

Once he’s in his own room, Tony briefly considers sleeping, but he’s been sleeping so much lately that he decides against it. He has a better idea. “Jarvis, look up anything you can find about Loki.”

“Is this is S.H.I.E.L.D.’s database or would you prefer the legends?”

“Legends, I’ve already read through all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files.”

“Of course, sir. Would you like to begin reading them now?”

Tony smirks and throws himself on bed. Reaching into his bedside table, he pulls out a tablet. “Bring the up, Jarv.” The AI complies, and Tony spends the rest of the night reading. The next morning, he goes to check on Loki, but the god’s door remains closed. Unfortunately, there was nothing Tony could find about blue skin in the legends, but there’s plenty of other stuff. If even half of that shit is true, Tony’s pretty sure he knows exactly why Loki is so fucked up.  According to Thor, Insane-Loki is relatively new, which means the issues were pretty much building up for centuries. All Tony’s missing is the catalyst, the one thing or event that finally made Loki snap. Considering what his past looks like, it must have been something pretty major. Tony almost doesn’t want to know.

He hangs around his impromptu kitchen, waiting for Loki to come out of his room. He’s got to come out for food at some point. It’s really just a matter of patience. Tony can do patience. Settling on his stupid designer couch, Tony plays around with his tablet as he waits. The time drags on excruciatingly slowly, and soon noon rolls around. Having long ago finished reading any legends he could find, Tony has continued on to conspiracy theories that people began writing after Loki’s failed invasion. People can be ridiculously creative, and Tony’s current favorite is a theory that says Loki is pregnant and was looking for a place his kid could rule. Several other people chimed in, speculating on who the father was, and Tony can barely hold back his laughter as he reads. Their suggestions range anywhere from Thor to some unknown alien race, even covering the gods of other cultures. After all, they reason, if the Norse gods exist, why shouldn’t any of the others? If Loki wasn’t angry with him, he’d have barged into his room to demand he read it.

The theories keep Tony amused for a while, but it soon becomes clear that Loki doesn’t intend to leave his room anytime soon, and, as it turns out, Tony really can’t do patience all that well. Not in comparison to a god, in any case. Sighing, Tony shuts off his tablet and resigns himself to a day in the lab. Just because Loki is suddenly feeling anti-social doesn’t mean Tony can’t start working on his magic scanner. Besides, if he doesn’t leave, Loki probably won’t come out to eat, and Tony doesn’t want that. The day passes slowly, and other than an attempted break-in from Clint, nothing really happens.

Tony is determined to make Loki leave his room and talk to him, and so when dinner time rolls around, Tony orders Indian food. Having been pulled away from dinner the night before, Tony has no clue whether or not Loki actually liked Thai food, but it must have been better than his reaction to pizza. When the food arrives, Tony does his best to set the containers up appealingly on the coffee table, but realizes that it really looks like he’s just strewn the containers about haphazardly, which disappoints him, slightly, and prompts him to give up. He casts one more looks over the spread and shrugs. He tried, that has to count for something. Looking hopefully down the hallway, Tony is again disappointed when Loki doesn’t just appear. Jarvis alerted him when the food came, and it’s not as if Tony really expected him to come, but it would’ve been nice.

Still, Tony is nothing if not determined, and so he pads down the hallway and knocks on Loki’s door. “Hey, Reindeer Games, I’ve got dinner set up.” He doesn’t get a response. “Jarvis, is he asleep?”

“Not presently, sir.”

Tony knocks again, louder this time. “C’mon, Loki! Come out! I’m sorry if I said too much yesterday, but this is damn childish!” Again, he gets no response, and he raises his hand to knock once more, but is stopped by the door opening. Loki fixes him with a glare that could freeze hell, making Tony stand there stupidly for a moment with his fist raised in the air, posed to knock. Tony is quick to recover. “Hey there, Lo-lo, nice of you to join me. I’ve ordered Indian food tonight. There’s some spicy and not spicy stuff, as well as some in-between stuff. Do you have spicy food on Asgard or are we going into this blind?” The god doesn’t answer. He just rolls his eyes and stalks past Tony, heading straight for the food. Judging by the level of sass, Tony decides he’s been temporarily forgiven. Before Tony can even sit, Loki begins sampling all the different dishes, and strangely settles on some of the spiciest things there.

Tony’s always preferred the milder stuff because anything too spicy would make his eyes tear up and his face go red. It is decidedly unattractive. The one time the entire team went out to an Indian place, Bruce had convinced Tony to try some green stuff. It was extremely spicy, and needless to say, Clint got a plethora of embarrassing photos, and Tony learned never to trust something green, food or people. He’d never seen Bruce laugh so hard. Loki, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be having any difficulties at all. In fact, he looks like he’s really enjoying himself. “You have the weirdest taste! You’ve got a sweet tooth that can rival the cookie monster’s but you like super spicy foods too? What gives?” No response. Silent-Loki is making himself known, and the god doesn’t even bother to acknowledge the fact that Tony spoke. Maybe all is not forgiven.

Tony sighs and leans back into the couch, slowly picking through his food. Whatever, it’s not his problem if Loki doesn’t want to talk. If only Thor hadn’t called him down yesterday! Imagine all the magic he could’ve learned about! Now, faced with a silent Loki, Tony is even more curious about the blue skin thing. Loki is obviously sensitive about it, and Tony has no clue how to ask about things like that, as he proved the night before. Curiosity be damned, he’s just going to leave it.

“In my youth, I traveled through much of the nine realms. Sweets, I have always loved, but a few realms had extremely spicy foods, and I grew to love those as well.”

“I can see that. Doesn’t the spice affect you at all?”

“This is nothing compared to some of the things I’ve eaten.”

“Well I’m jealous,” Tony grumbles. Even this mild stuff is making him sweat. “I didn’t know you were the traveling type.”

“There are many more magics throughout the realms than Asgard has to offer. I wanted to learn, and so I went. Sometimes I would go decades without ever setting foot on Asgard. Mother was never pleased.”

“She didn’t like you traveling?”

“She didn’t like me being away for so long. She always said her mornings were darker without my company.”

“I take it you hung out with your mom a lot?”

The god nods, a faraway look in his eyes. “Whenever I was in Asgard and we were both otherwise unoccupied, we would take out breakfast together. Sometimes we’d have tea in the afternoon as well.”

“It must be nice to be so close to your mom.”

Loki’s expression darkens, and his eyes snap back to reality. “It was. Things have changed, however.”

“I’m guessing she wasn’t too happy about the whole invading Earth thing?”

The god snorts. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen her since I fell from the Bifrost. The Allfather made sure of it.”

“Oh.” Leave it to Tony to put his foot in it. “Well that sucks…”

“I prefer it this way. I do not want to see her.”

“Why? Seems to me like you miss her.” Oh well. He’s already on this topic anyways. Might as well see how far he can go before he’s defenestrated again. “Just because you invaded Earth and killed a couple thousand people doesn’t necessarily mean your mom is going to hate you.”

“You do realize how ridiculous you sound, don’t you?”

“Yeah, well, moms don’t make sense, and it’s not like this is a normal situation. I’m doing the best I can. And you didn’t answer my question.”

Loki sighs and sets aside his empty plate. “What has Thor told you of our family?”

“Nothing, really. Well, he said you were adopted, but that’s about it.”

“And let me guess, he said it to denounce his relationship with me?”

“Not exactly,” Tony tries to defend Thor, but quickly gives up when he catches Loki’s look. “Okay, yes exactly. What’s up with this whole adoption thing?”

“I wasn’t adopted. I was found, and I was kept. My mother and the Allfather let me believe I was theirs for centuries.”

“Seriously? They never told you? How’d you find out?”

“A rather accidental trip to Jotunheimr gone wrong.” With that cryptic remark, Loki stands and brushes off his pants. He almost makes it to the hallway before Tony speaks up.

“Jotunheimr? Isn’t that were those frost giants are from?” He’d read about them the night before. Loki pauses but doesn’t turn around.

“Yes, it is.” And then he leaves. Tony hears his door slam, and can’t help but think that the whole conversation could’ve gone a lot worse. After he finishes up his plate, Tony tidies up and goes back down to work in the lab. Sometime past midnight, exhaustion hits him and he shakes his head in amazement. Maybe it’s all the food, but he’s slept more this week than he has in a long time. He’s tempted to just keep working until he gets his second wind, but suddenly remembers that he’s got a board meeting in the morning. Pepper will be expecting him to go, and he’s fucked up enough with her to want the meeting to go well. Deciding that he’d better at least try and get some sleep, Tony shuts down his equipment and heads for bed.

Of course, once he’s finally lying down, Tony feels wide awake. He thinks about what Loki told him, and belatedly noticed that Loki refers to Odin by title, but always calls his mom ‘mother’. Loki managed to portray betrayal pretty well, but if that was the only issue then he probably would’ve at least tried to mend bridges with his mother. No, if Tony had to guess, he’d say that Loki is ashamed and doesn’t want to face her. Unfortunately, shame is sometimes so much harder to get over than betrayal. This, Tony knows. After all, shame attacks your mind and makes you think you deserve whatever you get. Tony falls asleep to these thoughts.

It couldn’t have been more than a couple hours before Tony wakes up screaming. He frantically claws at his shirt, he needs to make sure the arc reactor is still there. He feels like his heart is about to explode and his hands are shaking so badly he can’t manage a grip on anything. He feels like he’s falling, up or down, he can’t tell, and his breathing is coming in frantic gasps. He doesn’t notice when his door flies open and starts violently when he feels cools hands grasp his arms. “Stark, calm down.” He barely identifies the voice as Loki, but he can’t concentrate. Tony tries to reach up to his chest, but Loki’s grip tightens. “Breathe, Stark. You are safe, you are in your bed. Breathe and calm down.” Contrary to the strength of his grip, Loki’s voice is gentle and soothing.

Slowly, Tony begins to calm down, taking deep breaths as he realizes that he is indeed sitting on his own bed. Once Loki decides he’s calm enough, he releases Tony’s arms, sitting back but not leaving. Vaguely, Tony feels a trickling on his chest and looks down in confusion. There’s something dripping on the arc reactor. “Jarvis,” he croaks, “lights.” His throat feels raw, and he wonders how long he’d been screaming. Those thoughts are pushed out of his mind when he catches sight of his chest. Dimly, he can hear Loki hiss in sympathy. There are deep scratches and gouge marks on his chest and surrounding the arc reactor. Tony raises his hands in front of his face. They’re covered in blood. His blood. Now that he’s aware of it, his chest is aching.

“Where are your medical supplies?”

Tony can’t look away from his hands. “In the bathroom cupboard.” The bed moves slightly as Loki leaves, and the god is back within minutes, a med kit in his hands. He gently makes Tony lower his hands before he starts to clean the blood from Tony’s chest. He navigates through the med kit with relative ease and works in silence. It is not until he begins wrapping Tony in bandages that he speaks.

“They are not deep. Luckily, your nails are too short to do any serious damage. You will scar, but you will heal.” He doesn’t ask Tony about the nightmare, and for that, Tony is thankful.

“Thanks. For helping me.”

“I am no stranger to the terrors of the mind.” Tony nods absently, looking around the room.

“Where’s my shirt? I am positive I was wearing a shirt.” He tries to sound like his usual self, and except for a slight tremble, Tony manages it.

“You threw it across the room, sir, before Loki arrived.”

“Oh. I thought I was still wearing it when I…” he gestures vaguely towards his chest. Loki doesn’t comment, and Tony finally gets a good look at him. He’s not wearing a shirt either and his hair is braided again. “I never thought it’d be this easy to get you into my bed.” It’s a weak attempt at humor, but Loki smiles anyway.

“You have a one-track mind, Stark.” Recognizing the line from the other day, Tony laughs, and some of the heaviness lifts from the room.

“What can I say? A god would be quite the achievement.” He stands and walks to his closet. Loki follows him and leans against the door frame.

“As if I would do anything to help enlarge your ego.”

Snickering, Tony pulls on a clean pair of jeans. “By the way, if you want a change of clothes you can help yourself. I doubt you’ll be able to get anything to fit properly, but clean clothes would probably be nice.” Shrugging, Loki steps forward and browses through the clothes, finally deciding on one of the fancy cardigans Pepper had bought him ages ago that Tony had refused to wear, a plain white t-shirt that Tony didn’t even know he had, and the longest pair of jeans he could find. Tony doesn’t look away while Loki changes, and Loki doesn’t bother to hide. However, when the god kicks off his sweat pants to reveal a pair of boxers, Tony’s brows draw together in confusion. “Where’d you get those?” They look vaguely familiar to the inventor, and Loki smiles innocently.

“I found them while I was looking for the tablet. As they were still packaged and you had neglected to supply me with proper underthings, I decided to take them.”

“Oh. We’re going to have to order you some clothes eventually, you can’t keep wearing mine forever.”

“No, I certainly cannot.” He pauses and looks around Tony’s closet, a monstrous thing that could be bigger than Loki’s bedroom. “Though you certainly have enough.”

“What can I say? Being a celebrity takes a lot of work.” Loki sighs, shaking his head. He dressed while they were talking, and now he looks at himself in distaste. Too loose and too short, the clothes look ridiculous. Frowning, he closes his eyes and concentrates. He begins to sweat as his clothes slowly shift until they fit him properly. As a final touch, the cardigan flickers from its original brown to a deep, dark green. The god barely has time for a look of satisfaction before he sags, listing sideways. Tony manages to catch him before he hits the ground, and the god leans against him heavily as they make their way back to the bed.

“Shit, Lo-lo, I thought you said it’ll be a while until your mojo gets back on track?”

Loki sits gingerly on the bed, leaning against Tony for a couple of seconds. “I did, and it will.”

“So why’d you use it now? And for making your clothes fit, of all things!”

Loki shrugs. Slowly, he sits up on his own and begins rolling up his cuffs. “I have to start using it again, bit by bit. Elsewise, I risk losing the depths of my reserves.” His cuffs now rolled past his elbows, Loki makes a satisfied sound before going to stand. Tony tenses, ready to catch him should he fall, but after a small waver, the god stands fine. “Come now, Stark. I would eat, if you are amenable.” Despite the wording, Tony recognizes an order when he hears one, and so he rises and follows Loki out of the room. Tony’s got no idea what the god did to his jeans, but he appreciates the view. In fact, the whole outfit looks excellent on Loki now, and Tony happily follows the god’s denim-clad ass. He is less than happy, however, when Loki shoves him into a bar stool and puts the bowl of fruit in front of him. “Eat, Stark.”

“Uh, thanks but no thanks. I’m not much of a breakfast person.” But Loki is adamant, and so they end up sitting side by side at the bar, Tony eating cereal and Loki eating an apple. Behind them, the sun slowly rises, filling the quiet room with sunlight. Despite his joking earlier, Tony is feeling far from talkative. Loki seems to sense this, and so he sits silently by Tony’s side and doesn’t attempt to start a conversation. Every now and again, he shifts, brushing slightly against Tony. It seems accidental (the bar stools aren’t exactly that far apart) but the engineer has a feeling it’s deliberate. It’s as if Loki is giving Tony the space he needs to calm down but is also letting Tony know that he isn’t alone. Despite the fact that it’s Loki and despite the fact that Tony hates to have his weaknesses out in the open, Tony feels comforted.

“Tell me more about your magic. You said you need to use it, even if it’s damaged, right?”

Loki nods. “Yes. The idea is similar to the need to exercise and work with a broken arm as it heals, despite the pain, lest you lose the strength it once had.”

“There are a lot of parallels between bodies and magic.”

“Of course there are. Magic is defines by the vessel that wields it, hence the limitations and intricacies of the body impacts the use and storage of magic. However, this changes with the physiology of the body in question.”

Tony leans forward, resting his elbow on the bar. “Explain.” He doesn’t know if Loki is being deliberately vague or if he just forgets that Tony knows nothing about magic or really anything more than human physiology. And even that is basic knowledge. It’s probably a mixture, as Tony does the same when he tries to tell Steve about his projects.

“Throughout the Nine Realms, there are multitudes of beings, each different from the next. The closest in relation are those of Asgard, Vanaheim, and Midgard, though Midgardians do not share in the longevity of the Æsir or the Vanir. Æsir have a much larger abundance of magic than the Vanir and Midgardians, but their use of power is essentially the same, excepting of course the strength and rapid healing possessed by all but Midgardians.”

Tony nods. “Okay, so what you’re saying in that these three races have the biggest resemblance between their biology and the use and recovery of magic?”

“Yes. These three peoples magic is affected by their physical forms.  The next closest race would be the elves. Though there are many kinds of elves, their physical and magical aspects remain much the same, but their differences lie in the fact that their magic is selective and shapes their physical selves.”

“What do you mean selective?”

“Whereas Æsir, Vanir, and Midgardians have access to a selection of magical abilities, many elves’ magics pertain to a certain element, such as light or dark. These distinctions shape the magic they can use, as well as how they can use that magic. The differences in magic leak out into their physical forms, and as a result, elves look very different depending on a group or region. Simplified, elves’ physiology is affected by magic, rather than magic being affect by physiology.”

Tony nods, trying to sort the differences in his head. “So we’ve got groups whose magic is controlled by their bodies and groups whose bodies are controlled by their magic?”

Loki makes a face but nods reluctantly. “Yes, but do not hold that idea as absolute truth. This is an extremely broad generalization, and though you are technically correct, it is only in the loosest sense. This brings us to those of Muspelheimr and those of Jotunheimr, Fire Demons and Frost Giants. These creatures are of the elements, and they are magic.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You just said that magical and physical aspects are interdependent,” Tony interrupts irritably. “If Frost Giants and Fire Demons are made of magic, then what about their biology?”

“This, Stark, is why they are different. Their magic is an essential part of their biology, as essential as their heart or lungs. In the case of these creatures, magic and physical aspects aren’t interdependent, they are one and the same.”

“That…” Tony starts, considering everything that mean. “That sounds awesome! What do they look like? How does their culture work? Does it revolve around magic too? Can they all use magic? Are there any more limitations? Is their magic more flexible like the first group or is it more specific like the elves? Are Frost Giants made of ice? Is that why they’re called Frost Giants? Are they like living snowmen or something?”

Loki is looking at Tony strangely. “Why would you care what they look like?”

Tony shrugs. “Well, you just said that elves all look different because of their magic, so wouldn’t people whose entire biology is dependent on magic look really cool?”

Loki’s face goes carefully blank. “They are considered monstrous.”

“By who?”

“The Æsir and the Vanir, mainly. The elves cannot be bothered with what lies beyond their realms, and those of Muspelheimr rarely stray from their flaming halls.”  

“So, just Frost Giants are considered monsters?”

“In both looks and culture.”

Tony frowns, completely confused. “Why?” Loki opens his mouth to answer, but pauses, brows furrowed. Tony has a feeling he was about to reply ‘because they just are.’ The answer is nowhere near Loki’s usually finely worded explanations or retorts, and the god seems to have noticed this as well. After a couple seconds, he closes his mouth and sits back, staring at his own hands in confusion. Tony doesn’t comment. He gives Loki his space, because the god looks like he’s in the middle of a bought of existential crisis, and goes to make himself a coffee.

A rare spark of considerateness shines in Tony, and so he makes Loki a coffee as well. Remembering that Loki likes really sweet stuff, his coffee ends up being something close to a really sweet latte. The god sips from it absently after Tony sets it down and lets out a hum of approval. Smiling, Tony sits back down and turns his attention to his own coffee. Through the comfortable silence, the absurd domesticity of the situation hits Tony, and the engineer begins to laugh. Loki looks up at him incredulously, distracted from his thoughts. “You are insane, Stark.”

His statement only makes Tony laugh harder. “It takes one to know one.” The god’s eyebrows only rise higher, and Tony desperately tries to reign in his laughter. After only random chuckles manage to escape here and there, Tony sits back, gesturing to Loki. “So you’ve given me the summary. Explain stuff in more detail.” Loki watches him for a second before he agrees, and then launches into a detailed explanation of where magic comes from and how the power is used. Clearly, the subject is a favorite one, as dear to Loki as science is to Tony. Halfway through, Tony is lost among the complex ideas and theories Loki speaks about, but he listens enraptured all the same. Every so often, Tony hears a bit of physics, things he should be familiar with but are twisted into something else, their application in magic something Tony can barely get his head around. Still, he listens and asks questions, wishing he had a tablet with him to add notes to his theories. He can just get Jarvis to transcribe the whole thing later, but Tony isn’t a ‘sit still and listen’ kind of person. His fingers tap absently against the bar while Loki speaks, taking notes that do not exist.

One of the key ideas that Loki is trying to get across is the source of magic. According to Loki, magic comes from Yggdrasil, a word Tony decides in unpronounceable no matter how easily Loki says it. The World Tree, according to Loki, connects the Nine Realms and is the source of magic. Yggdrasil acts as the heart of the universe, the power of all time and space stems from the branches of the tree, and it is that power that nourishes the Nine Realms and runs through those who are capable of magic. Tony thinks the whole idea is kind of far-fetched, but Loki assures him that in no way does Yggdrasil actually resemble a tree, nor is it quite as tangible as it sounds. Tony is still skeptical, it sounds too much like a legend, but Loki offers him as much proof as he is able to and speaks of how he’s traveled along the branches of Yggdrasil to other realms when using the Bifrost was not possible. Tony is immediately fascinated by the idea, but is very disappointed to find that not only are there very few of these pathways on Earth, but they are pretty much inaccessible to Tony as he cannot use magic. Loki watches, amused, as Tony complains loudly about not getting to go on a field trip.

The god is sitting happily, chuckling at Tony’s enthusiasm, and is obviously enjoying his morning. Of course, good things can’t last. “Sir, you are to meet Ms. Potts for the board meeting in half an hour.” Tony stops talking mid-sentence and deflates, slumping forward onto the bar as if his strings were cut. He does not want to do this, but it’ll be so much worse for him if he doesn’t show up. Glumly, he gives Loki a pathetic little wave before he gets up and goes back to his closet. If he shows up in jeans, Pepper will be furious. 


	6. Haven't Seen the Best of Us Yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again! I was really worried that this week's chapter would be delayed, but luckily it was not. Thank you again to everybody who commented, especially Laura, whose comments never fail to make me happy! 
> 
> Also, sex alert! From here on out, things happen. This fic is rated M, but ratings are subjective. What may be M for me might very well be E for somebody else, so be warned and go into this prepared!
> 
> And now, please enjoy this week's chapter!

On his way back out, Loki gives him a wave and a sympathetic look. He’s curled up on the couch with his tablet, probably reading again. Tony has a nagging suspicion that Jarvis filled Loki in on exactly why Tony doesn’t want to go. The growing friendship between his AI and Loki is worrying him. One day, the two of them are going to team up on him and make him do something horrible. Like eat breakfast. He shudders at the thought. He really doesn’t want to go, but Happy is waiting and he’s most likely already late.

When Tony gets to the car, however, he finds that Happy isn’t waiting alone. Natasha is leaning against the car making conversation with the driver. Happy still seems kind of wary of her, and after the whole Natalie Rushman thing, Tony isn’t very surprised. When she spots him, the assassin straightens. She casts a critical eye over him and seems pleased by what she finds. “You look better.”

Tony stops walking, nonplused. “I never thought I’d live to see the day you praise my looks.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Something’s changed for you, and for the better, I think.” She pauses and narrows her eyes at him. “Though whatever it is, I hope you know what you’re doing and don’t get us all killed.” She looks like she knows exactly what’s going on, and Tony represses a shiver. Natasha can never be kept completely in the dark, and once again her trust floors Tony. He’s never quite had something like that. “Anyways,” she continues, “if you want this meeting to go as smoothly as possible, listen carefully to what I have to say.” Tony doesn’t question how she knows about the meeting and listens extremely carefully to what she says. Natasha knows Pepper as well as any PA knows their boss, and her ideas are pretty good. If everything goes according to plan, Tony might get through this meeting with relatively little pain and no bloodshed. Besides, he thinks while he climbs into the car, when he gets home he’ll show Loki the Harry Potter movies. Thinking of the god’s reaction to the movies bolsters Tony’s spirits, and he thinks that the meeting might go well.

A long car ride and copious amounts of traffic later, Tony finally arrives at the building. “You’re late!” Pepper’s shrill voice is the first thing to greet him, and Tony thinks that this meeting most definitely will not go well. His eyes find Pepper, and there it is: the disapproving glare. Tony, who thought he was on time for once, looks down at his watch.

“It’s 9:30.”

“The meeting was supposed to start at 9!”

Tony winces at the increase in volume. Doing what he does best, he tries to make a joke to lighten the situation. “Oh. Well, you’ve got to admit, this is a big improvement. When was the last time I was even awake, let alone dressed, at 9:30 in the morning?” It’s the wrong thing to say, apparently, and Pepper sighs. It’s not a good sound. It’s exasperated and tired and altogether one of the most fed up sounds Tony has ever heard, which he’s pretty sure he doesn’t deserve. He briefly considers telling Pepper about how awful traffic was, but quickly decides that she’s just not in the mood to hear it. He personally thinks he’s done pretty well, all things considered. As if to prove his point, one board member looks shocked to see Tony as he meanders down the hall. Not even the board members expected him to show this early. They’re probably all down at the café, having breakfast and so on. The one guy he sees pulls out his phone and starts sending texts rapid-fire, probably telling the others that Tony’s actually there. Pepper, apparently, doesn’t care. “Can you just act responsibly, please?”

“I’m trying! I actually made an effort to be here, and I brought you coffee.” Pepper looks at the offered cup skeptically, making no move to take it.

“ _You_ brought me coffee?”

Tony nods, hoping this will be the thing that gets Pepper to ease up. “Yup, a vanilla latte.” Today seems to be the day Pepper decided to defy all expectations, because she frowns in clear disapproval. Tony has a sinking feeling. “Please tell me you like vanilla lattes.” He sounds distinctly afraid, and ultimately pathetic.

Pepper doesn’t take pity on him. “I do. Who told you?”

Honestly, if suspicion is all Tony’s going to get whenever he does a nice thing, maybe he just won’t try anymore. “Tasha may or may not have cornered me and told me exactly what to do to ensure that this meeting is easy for both of us.” If being truthful and admitting that he just wants things to go smoothly isn’t responsible, Tony doesn’t know what is. Pepper sighs again, and any hopes of ease fly out of Tony’s mind.

“Thanks, but I don’t want coffee right now. Get moving, we’re late.” And with that, she brushes past him, leaving Tony standing alone with the coffee in his hand. Glaring at it, he takes a sip, shudders at its sweetness, and quietly follows Pepper into the room. Plastering a smile on his face, Tony shakes hands and gives out greetings, ignoring Pepper’s pointed stare as he makes his way around the room. She wants Tony to sit down and start the meeting, but the board members like the individual attention. Another half hour passes before Tony finally sits down in his chair. Pepper is ignoring him, obviously angry at the delay, but the board members look happy and eager to start. Whether she likes it or not, the board members are obviously pleased and impressed. Tony caught more than one whisper about his ‘pleasant change’. Twenty minutes in, however, Tony is bored out of his mind and desperately trying not to show it. Usually, everyone would know by this point, but Tony is trying to be responsible. That means sitting through a board meeting in good behavior.

The board members are enthusiastic, probably grateful that their CEO actually seems to be listening. For any casual observer, the meeting seems to go incredibly well. For Tony, however, the thing is an absolute nightmare. Pepper is rigid beside him, adding in her share whenever necessary but glaring at Tony whenever he speaks. This, he decides, is absurd, because he’s doing everything she’s ever told him to do in a meeting. He’s listening to what the board members have to say, he’s subtly encouraging or discouraging their ideas, and he is promising nothing beyond looking through their reports before coming to a final decision. It is excruciatingly boring, but by all standards, Tony is doing incredibly well. Pepper doesn’t think so. By the time the meeting ends, Tony is wound tight and ready to snap. He doesn’t show it, and the board members seem to be happy with the outcome. They each make sure to shake Tony’s hand on the way out until there’s no one left in the room except him and Pepper.

If Pepper was anyone else, she’d probably have slumped over by now. However, as it is, Pepper sits even straighter than ramrod straight. She is not happy. “What was that?” She demands, and Tony’s fake smile falls off his face.

“What was what? You told me to act responsibly and I did!”

Anger clouds Pepper’s face, and Tony is taken aback. “What the hell are you trying to prove?”

“I’m not trying to prove anything! I was just trying to make this go as smoothly as possible, and I think I did perfectly fine.” He gestures to the now empty cup. “I even brought you a coffee as a peace gift.”

“You drank it.”

“You refused it,” Tony growls, angry beyond belief. “What was I supposed to do, stand there holding it like an idiot? Just what the hell are _you_ trying to prove?” This isn’t going at all like Tony had planned. This isn’t going at all like Natasha had planned, and that is all the more surprising. Pepper, evidently, has had enough.

Standing angrily, she gathers up all of her paperwork with sharp, irritated movements and shoves it into her briefcase. “I’ll send you everything that needs to be signed by next week. Will that be all, Mr. Stark?”

Tony grinds his teeth, holding back everything he truly wants to say. “That’ll be all, Ms. Potts.” She nods without looking at him and stalks from the room. Tony has to restrain himself from trying to tip over the board room table. The thing is massive and he probably wouldn’t have managed it without the suit anyways. The minute he gets near the car, Happy can tell he’s in a horrible mood. The driver says nothing, and Tony is grateful for it. Except for a stop for hamburgers, Tony has Happy speed home. His foul mood only increased in the silence of the car, and by the time they reach the tower, Tony is aching with the need to blow things up. He runs into Natasha on the way into the tower, and the assassin takes one look at his face before frowning.

“What happened?”

“She refused the coffee. It went downhill from there.” Natasha’s expression turns as confused as it possibly could, which for Natasha meant she looks slightly concerned. Wisely, she doesn’t ask any more questions and leaves Tony to himself. As soon as the billionaire steps into the elevator, she goes off in search of surveillance tapes.

Tony finds Loki exactly where he left him, curled up on the couch reading. Loki looks up when the elevator opens and catches sight of Tony’s pissed off expression. “Stark?” He sounds cautious.

“I brought lunch.” He throws the bag on the coffee table, making Loki’s eyebrows rise.

“Something tells me food is the last thing you want.” Tony graces Loki with a murderous expression. The god is right, but for the sake of being contrary, stalks up and rips his burger from the bag. Loki, alternating between apprehensive glances at the food and worried looks at Tony, follows suit, albeit in a much more dignified manner. Tony rips into his burger violently, finishing the whole thing quickly while he paces. Loki takes a bit longer, and by the time he finishes Tony is buzzing with pent up anger. Without another word, Tony turns and goes back to the elevator, jamming the button with his thumb. This is what prompts Loki to stand and follow him, slipping into the elevator beside Tony. The engineer has never used the elevator, or any technology really, so roughly. The silence seems to boil over and the anger radiating from Tony is nearly palpable. He punches at the button for his lab and ignores Loki the entire way down.

Once they’re down in the lab, a small flick of his wrist is all Tony needs to send a gauntlet flying towards him, unfolding until it covers his hand. Without warning, Tony spins, firing the repulsor towards a pile of scrap metal. It explodes and he turns again, moving to his next target. Loki stands in a corner, away from Tony’s fury and away from the blasts, but close enough to intervene if he has to. A workbench is sent flying, slamming into the wall so violently that the shelves hanging on it rattle dangerously, their contents falling to the floor. Several more piles of scrap and pieces of furniture fall to Tony’s anger, but the engineer shows no signs of calming down. It’s when Tony turns his attention on a half-finished project, blowing it to bits, that Loki intervenes. He steps in front of Tony, blocking him from whatever thing he’s about to destroy next.

“Move,” Tony growls, but Loki refuses.

“Leave your work alone, Stark.” Tony glares at him, but Loki is unmoving. The stand-off lasts for less than a minute before Tony spins again, slamming his unarmored fist into the concrete wall. Loki is taken off-guard by the destructiveness and abruptness of Tony’s actions, and Tony manages a couple more punches until Loki grabs his arms, turns him around, and pushes him back against the wall. “Stark, stop this!”

Tony’s hand throbs, but he there’s no blood, so at least he didn’t split the skin. “Let me go.” His voice is quiet, but nowhere near calm. He doesn’t feel any better. Anger is still roiling in his gut, he still wants to break things, but Loki doesn’t let go.

“Come, now, Stark. There are better ways to lose control.” Loki’s voice drops low, and his tongue darts out to wet his lips. Heat immediately flares low in Tony’s stomach, and the engineer is a little thrown by the intensity and instantaneousness of his reaction. He can tell Loki is just trying to distract him, though, and Tony is not in the mood to be teased. Loki’s face is already so close, and so it takes little effort on Tony’s part to lean forward and press his lips to the god’s. Loki freezes for half a second before a smirk stretches his mouth. Tony feels it and growls. He bites at Loki’s lips, forcing the god to respond. Their kiss is anything but sweet, angry as Tony is, and once Loki’s mouth opens to him, it’s a clash of teeth and tongues battling for dominance. Loki presses even closer to Tony, his knee sliding between the engineer’s legs and rubbing against the growing bulge. By the time they break apart, both Tony and Loki are panting.

Tony eyes the god, who’s pupils are blown wide, clearly aroused, and lets his own grin loose, anger forgotten. Tony probably doesn’t look any better; his lips feel bruised from the force of the kiss. “Enough teasing, Reindeer Games.” His voice is rough. Reaching down, he presses the heel of his palm against the god’s own bulge and Loki groans. “Shall we take this upstairs?”

Loki groans again before he answers. “Lead the way.” His voice is equally rough, and Tony shudders. Quickly, Loki steps back and turns to the elevator. Tony follows him, depositing his gauntlet on an undamaged table. They fall together again once they’re in the elevator, Tony pressing Loki against the wall this time. Arriving at Tony’s floor, the pair stumbles out, shedding clothes as they go, until they finally make it to Tony’s room. They pause for a moment, Loki eyeing Tony carefully as he stands there in his boxers. The engineer smirks, palming himself as Loki looks on. He’s never been shy.

“Change of heart, Reindeer Games?” he teases.

The god rewards him with a predatory look, dragging his eyes over Tony’s body. “I would have you ride me, Stark, until you can no longer move,” he purrs, closing the space between them. “And then, I will fuck you so thoroughly you will scream my name until your voice leaves you.”

His voice sends shivers down Tony’s spine. “Big promise. Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?”

Loki chuckles darkly. “My mouth has gone nowhere yet.” He shoves Tony back onto the bed, grinning like a madman.

“I don’t remember agreeing to bottom.”

“Are you opposed to the idea?”

“No.”

“Then stop talking, Stark.”

Tony grins and flips them over. “Make me.” And Loki does, flipping them over again and starts nipping Tony’s lip before biting along the engineer’s jaw. His hands never stop moving, and Tony leans into his touch. Never one to be outdone, Tony kisses and sucks a bruise onto the god’s throat, making Loki moan with his own touches. He smirks when he catches Loki’s eye, and the god responds by brushing a slick finger along Tony’s entrance. The engineer gasps, not expecting that at all. He hadn’t even seen Loki grab the lube from the bedside table. Loki teases him for a little longer before he slides his finger in and begins to stretch him. A short while later, Tony is gasping and moaning under Loki’s ministrations. The god’s fingers brush a spot inside him, and Tony’s loud response prompts him to press and rub against it mercilessly, much to Tony’s pleasure.

All too soon, Loki withdraws his fingers, and Tony almost whines at the loss. That is, until Loki presses himself against Tony’s entrance. Before he can do much anything else, Tony flips them, putting a surprised Loki on his back. The surprise only lasts so long, and Loki raises a single brow, the look so common that Tony laughs. It looks so out of place on the god, with his hair in a disarray across the pillow and his lust-blown eyes. Tony offers a heady grin. “You promised I could ride,” he purrs, before he begins to lower himself onto Loki, eyes slipping closed as his mouth falls open. Beneath him, Loki is tense with the effort to keep still, and as Tony settles flush against him, he begins to pant. After resting for a bit, Tony flashes Loki a wicked grin and begins to move. He starts slowly at first, but soon picks up speed. Rather than being complacent and allowing Tony to have his way with him, Loki’s hips arch off the bed, meeting Tony midway and pounding into him so thoroughly that he almost loses his balance a couple of times.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Tony marvels at the god’s strength. The rest of him wishes Loki would go faster. Without missing a beat, Loki sits up so that Tony’s basically straddling his lap. He winds one arm around Tony and braces the other on the bed, mashing their lips together in a violent, bruising kiss. The new angle has him brushing against the spot, and Tony moans into his mouth, beyond words. He can feel that he’s getting close, and without prompting Loki reaches down and takes hold of him. The god’s grip is sinful, and Tony’s release comes quickly, nearly taking him by surprise. He cries out, and Loki strokes him through it, chuckling when Tony sags against him.

“My turn,” he whispers huskily, and Tony’s world spins. He suddenly finds himself on his back, Loki leaning over him.

“Do your worst.”

A wicked grin spreads across Loki’s face and he leans down to whisper in Tony’s ear. “My pleasure.” Tony shudders, and suddenly Loki’s mouth is everywhere as he thoroughly fucks Tony into the bed. Flexibility would not even begin to cover Loki’s movements. The pleasure is so intense that it borders on pain, but when his mouth isn’t occupied Tony urges Loki on. The noises that are falling from his mouth are increasing in volume, and Loki is looking increasingly smug. Tony has half a mind to wipe the smug look off of Loki’s face. He clenches around the god, making him hiss, and surges up to nip at Loki’s nipples, wringing low moans from him. Before long, Tony is hard again, and in what seems like no time at all he feels heat concentrate in his belly. Reaching between them, Tony goes to take himself in hand, but Loki smacks his hand away with a growl. Tony comes for the second time with a cry that sounds suspiciously like Loki’s name, though later he will profusely deny this. Loki follows soon after with a shuddering groan, collapsing on Tony with his release.

They lie like that for a couple minutes before Loki has enough presence of mind to roll off Tony, pulling out as he does so. The only thing to be heard in the following silence is their heavy breathing, and Tony begins to wonder about the choice they made. Wondering is as far as he gets, however, as his brain is still pleasantly fogged and exhaustion weighs down on his limbs. Movement from Loki prompts Tony to turn to the god, who is looking over Tony’s chest with narrowed eyes. Noticing his stare, the god transfers his frown to Tony’s face. “You’ve dirtied your bandages.”

Tony looks down. “Oh.” It’s so absurd. Loki sighs and gets up, stretching for far longer than necessary. Tony appreciates the view. He comes back with a damp cloth and fresh bandages, intent on cleaning them up. After that’s done, Tony voices the question that’s been occupying his mind. “What happens now?”

“Now, Stark, we sleep. There is nothing that need be addressed until morning.” Loki settles down next to Tony, his tone prompting no argument. Not feeling like arguing, Tony wriggles around until he’s comfortable, ignoring Loki’s sighs whenever he jostles him. Finally, Tony settles, and he’s almost surprised by how quickly he starts to fall asleep. Just before sleep fully claims him, Loki throws an arm around his waist, settling against him. No dreams interrupt Tony’s sleep that night, save for a vague feeling of cool warmth, which is in itself confusing.

****

Loki wakes up sprawled over Stark, his head sharing a pillow with the human. Slowly, so as not to wake him, Loki moves back until he’s just resting beside him. For now, Stark sleeps peacefully, and for that, Loki is grateful. Stark’s nightmare the previous night scared him. It adds another point in favor of his theory, but Loki still hopes he’s wrong. His magic, it seems, approves of Stark, and has become quite attached to him. Attuned as it is to Stark’s body, the minute he began to harm himself, Loki’s magic made sure the god knew. The ache that had spread through his own chest only began to fade once he went to assist Stark. That feeling brought him to Stark before he’d even managed to wake up completely, and it changes things.

In his time with the elves, this occurrence was spoken of reverently. All the signs are pointing towards this, and if they turn out to be correct, it would mean that both Loki’s mind and essence (as magic is called amongst the elves) has chosen Stark. Loki now knows that the legends were in part exaggerated. Apart from his magic, Loki feels no inexplicable emotional attachment to Stark, and the Loki of old would have been slightly disappointed. In his youth, the romantics of the occurrence was what had originally intrigued the god, but centuries later, he is relieved. There have been too many instances in recent years where Loki’s mind has not been his own, and the idea of his magic turning against him is now horrid. However, as he looks at Stark, Loki decides that he does not particularly mind this happening, if it does happen. He does not hate the human, and Stark is capable of carrying on a stimulating conversation. He must admit that the way Stark thinks is fascination, even confusing at points, and the occurrence of such a thing is so rare that it may as well be considered a new experience for the god. Of course, the less Stark knows of this, the better. Loki has no wish to stroke the idiot human’s ego, and his head is big enough.

The sex is an added bonus, as it is just sex, something Loki knows Stark is familiar with, and also because of the added benefits of physical contact. Already, Loki feels his magic growing stronger, a result of Stark’s presence. For the first time in days, Loki no longer feels tired, and his burns look noticeably better. In spite of the disadvantages of Loki’s situation, this connection has potential for some advantages as well, as Loki is already experiencing. The god stretches with a yawn and leaves the bed, padding over to Stark’s bathroom. Loki is tired of the bland yet feminine smelling supplies in his own rooms, and Stark smells good enough that he decides to help himself to the human's supplies. After he showers, he goes through Stark’s clothes once again, spelling a pair of ripped jeans to fit his frame.

Though the style is not quite to his tastes, they seem to be some of Stark’s favorites. Smirking, Loki changes the jeans a bit more, making them wrap around his body enticingly. Casting one final look over himself, Loki nods his approval. Never one to confine his teasing to mere words, one of Loki’s absolute favorite methods is giving people what they want, if only to confuse them more. He is in no way eagerly anticipating the look on Stark’s face when he sees him. Not at all.

Feeling largely satisfied, Loki heads to the bar for breakfast.

****

Tony wakes to an empty bed and a bit of an ache. He is confused for only a second before memories of the previous night rush up. Kind of speechless at the turn of events, Tony shakes his head at himself. He can’t believe that Pepper can rile him up like that, and he really can’t believe that Loki fucked him to paradise. Or what would be paradise if he could just turn off his brain. Sitting up with a groan, Tony heads for the shower, where he decides that the previous night was fun and that Loki is very, _very_ good. By the time he makes it out of the shower, and manages to pull on some clothes, Tony has also decided that he wouldn’t mind doing it again. Whatever Loki thinks about it, though, is unknown to Tony, but as he’s alive he figures the god didn’t think it was that bad. Honestly, with the way they’ve been acting it’s not like they have any right to be surprised by last night's outcome.

Despite his shower and change of clothes, Tony still looks like a slob when he meanders out of his room. He’s brought up short when he sees Loki sprawled elegantly across the couch. He’s wearing jeans that Tony barely recognizes as his own, and he turns the torn clothing into something completely different. The ripped jeans, crisp white button up, and Italian leather shoes that must have come from Tony’s closet wouldn’t have been out of place at an upscale restaurant. Tony can’t help but look his fill.

Noticing Tony’s stare, Loki looks up from his tablet. “Can I help you, Stark?” His tone is cold, making Tony extremely nervous until he notices the hint of a smirk in Loki’s expression.

“That depends,” Tony grins, settling gracelessly on the couch next to the god, so close that he’s practically on top of him. Instead of moving away, Loki only shifts to make himself more comfortable, either too stubborn to actually move or he doesn’t really mind Tony sitting on him. It seems he’s decided that Tony isn’t much worth his attention, because he’s turned back to his tablet, reading once more. Tony manages to sit still for a couple of minutes, but squirms around time and time again until Loki sighs and puts down the tablet.

“What is it, Stark?”

“About last night…”

“Yes?” Loki’s face goes closed off and Tony wonders how to proceed. He really doesn’t want to put his foot in it again. He’s never really stuck around for the morning after, mostly because he’s absolute shit at dealing with people.

“Uh, what happens now?” He settles for repeating his question from last night, hoping Loki will pick up on what he’s trying to convey.

“What do you want to happen?” The question surprises Tony, and he takes a moment to think about his answer.

“I would like for this to continue…” He sounds way too awkward, and Loki smirks. For some reason the god is always delighted when Tony’s out of his depth.

“You wish to continue having sex?”

Tony nods. “Yeah, if you’re okay with it. Last night was pretty good.” Loki raises an eyebrow as if he can hear exactly what Tony means by ‘pretty good,’ which is ‘pretty fucking great.’

“I am not opposed to this, but there are a few rules.” Loki’s voice is teasing, and Tony motions for him to continue, curious. “Just some general things, of course. I do not come when I am called,” he says, serious yet mocking, “and I do not share.” His voice drops to a purr, a warning and a promise in one, and Tony shivers. That tone does _things_ to him.

“Reasonable,” Tony responds. Seemingly satisfied, Loki goes back to his reading. Conversation effectively over, complete with a satisfying end, Tony heads off to his lab. Loki’s magic is getting better, if his new clothes are anything to go by, so he might be able to use his mojo scanners soon. First though, he has to actually make them.

As Tony leaves, he misses Loki’s fond yet exasperated smile. Loki misses it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, some bad news here... School is picking up, so there may be some chapter delays for the next couple of weeks. I will do my best to avoid that, but I thought it best to warn you guys ahead of time. Worst-case scenario, I will be a couple of days late... Sorry in advance!


	7. The Fear of Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, one day late and a bit shorter than my usual (though not by much), and here we are! Chapter seven of This is Gospel! Thank you for all you lovely people who have patiently waited for this week's chapter, and sorry again for being late! Exams are coming up (in fact, I have one on Tuesday), but I will do my best to keep updating weekly!
> 
> P.S. If you guys see any grammar/spelling mistakes, please let me know. I didn't proof-read this chapter....

Tony’s day is spent programming and tweaking regular energy scanners to pick up more sensitive readings. Jarvis helpfully supplies readings from the portal, which are intense, and Tony is trying to isolate some subtler strands. Now that he’s looking for them, Tony can see that they weave through the cacophony of power from what he’s assuming is the Tesarect, directing and even restraining that power in some instances. It’s fascinating stuff, and the time flies quickly. His only interruption comes from Steve. The super-soldier shows up in his lab around noon with a plate of sandwiches and a jug of water. Two cups are tucked under his arm. Steve is momentarily shocked when he sees the wreckage of the lab, and his eyes quickly scan the room before they settle on Tony. The engineer looks fine, so Steve decides to ignore the destruction. It’s never been destroyed to this degree, but calamity in the lab is nothing new.

Once Tony notices he’s there, he stops working and looks at Steve questioningly. The super-soldier visiting the lab used to be a common occurrence. Even though Steve usually had no idea what Tony was working on, it was a common sight to see the engineer doing his best to explain his projects to a bemused Steve. Recently though, Steve’s been avoiding the lab, and Tony’s been avoiding Steve. Tony blames the stupid alcohol thing and lack of trust.

“I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch together. You’ve been holed up in here a lot recently, so I figure you could use the company.” Tony doesn’t say anything for a long while. He hasn’t exactly been alone much recently, but Steve looks so hopeful. Whatever, Tony can’t hold a grudge forever, and Steve is one of his best friends.

“Sure, why not. Pull up a stool.” Steve lets loose a ridiculously happy smile and does just that, jumping onto his seat like a kid. Tony happily digs into a sandwich while Steve pours them drinks.

“So what are you working on now?” Steve motions to the various screens and hologram displays spread out around Tony. Usually, Steve can tell what Tony’s working on from the diagrams, but the graphs and pictures make no sense. Tony hadn’t bothered hiding them from Steve because he knew his friend would never be able to figure it out, and he hesitates before he answers. That is, until he realizes that if any of the others found out what he’s working on they’d just think it’s for tracking Loki or something equally productive. There would be no harm in telling Steve.

“I’m making an energy scanner.”

“I thought you have tons of those.”

“I do, but this one’s different. When I’m done, it’ll be able to detect magic.”

Steve gives him a skeptical look. “Magic?”

“Don’t look at me like that, you know it exists as well as I do. You saw Loki using it. And you see Thor using it all the time.”

“Do I?”

Tony huffs. “What, did you think he calls down the lightning through sheer willpower? What about his hammer, huh?” Tony wiggles his fingers. “Magic.”

“I never took you for the type to chase after magic. You’re usually preaching the virtues of science.”

“It _is_ science,” Tony says vehemently, and then scrunches his brows. “I don’t think I’ve ever preached anything. Anyways, magic is just energy manipulation. I think. I’m not sure how it happens, but if I can isolate a specific wavelength from this mess,” he gestures to the screen, “then I can tune the scanners to pick up similar readings.”

“So does that mean you can track magic?” Yeah, he knew Steve would pick up that detail.

“If I want to. Once I get a significant amount of readings, I can study the energy wavelengths and see how the manipulations happen, if it’s visible. If the energy can only be recorded _after_ it’s been manipulated, though, then I can probably narrow down the readings to find a source. I can also maybe figure out whether or not there’s an initial energy surge when a spell is first released.”

Steve looks like he’s barely keeping up. “Do you think you can use it to track Loki?”

“Uh, maybe, but that would probably only work if he’s in New York.”

“Still, we can have it as back up?”

“Maybe, but its, uh, pretty useless if I don’t know his specific signature.”

“Oh. But isn’t that what you’re trying to isolate?” Tony freezes, staring at Steve. Of all times to start paying attention, why now? It used to be that all Tony had to do was mention science and Steve would immediately be lost. Now though, it’s obvious that Steve’s trying to pay attention to what Tony says. Tony is both flattered that Steve is trying and irritated that he has to try now of all times.

“Sort of. There’s a lot of interference from the portal. I won’t be able to get a clean enough reading to track Loki specifically.”

“What do you mean specifically? The only people that use magic are Loki and Thor, right? If we get a location where we’re all present, it’s obviously Thor, and if it’s far away, it’s obviously Loki, right?” His voice kind of goes up at the end, making him sound incredibly confused.

Tony sighs. Does anybody on his team know Loki at all? “Theoretically, but there’s a ton of problems with that theory. First off, if we can’t track down Loki’s signature exactly, and we’re just guessing, we will have no idea where he is. Do you really think that he’d stay away from us? He’s a shape shifter too, Steve. We’d never know he was even here. Secondly, without a clean enough reading, the scanner could just start picking up random energy bursts too. Magic is like really subtle energy, and it sort of creeps through physical reality. Pretty much undetectable if you don’t know what you’re looking for.”

“Oh.” Steve goes back to his sandwich and Tony’s fingers tap happily away at his screens. He’s safe for now, and so is Loki. Even though Steve’s trying his best to understand, Tony can still talk circles around him. It’s reassuring. A couple of minutes pass before Steve asks another question. “The energy from the portal… Is it anything like the technology Hydra was using in the war? That stuff came from the Tesarect too.”

Tony nods. “It’s very similar, actually, but there are some subtle differences. The Hydra weaponry basically shot raw energy. It was pretty fucking powerful and really fucking destructive, but that’s all they could do. The portal was made of the exact same power—”

“How do you know that?”

“Howard’s research. He recorded some of the fluctuations in the energy discharge. Those fluctuations are a clear signature for Tesarect brand energy, and they match what I’ve gotten from the portal.”

“Oh, right. I keep forgetting that Howard studied the Tesarect.”

“That’s all he did, Cap. That and look for you.” Tony sighs. “Anyways, I found his notes and compared the energy signatures. They’re the same, but this one,” he taps the screen, “is more controlled. There’s another signature interwoven with the Tesarect energy, restraining the volatile raw power and using it to shape the portal. It’s very strong, stronger even than the Tesarect energy. Jarvis, can you color differentiate the energy signatures?” The AI doesn’t answer, but the diagram changes from regular holographic blue to a vivid green for the subtler power and an ice blue for the Tesarect power. Steve makes the connection between the green and the sorcerer in question.

“Loki’s magic is more powerful than the Tesarect?” He looks extremely worried.

Tony waves that worry away. “Yes, but he would never be able to output the same amount of energy that the Tesarect can. His body would never be able to sustain it.”

“That’s why he needed the Tesarect. I know that much.”

Tony shakes his head. “No, no, believe me, based on his energy signature, I’m ninety-five percent sure that Loki could have teleported a significant amount of Chitauri here, or he could’ve taken them along different routes that would cost him next to no energy.” The last part comes out bitter sounding. Tony was very upset to learn that the Chitauri could be transported along Yggdrasil’s branches due to their bio-tech nature. He is now happier than ever that he sent a nuke their way. Steve, of course, doesn’t know this, and so Tony’s tone confuses him.

“So he didn’t need to create the portal?”

“It doesn’t look like it.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense!” Steve bursts out. “The portal took time to create, not to mention the fact that stealing the Tesarect put us on red alert. We were able to mobilize, we were pretty prepared. Besides, anybody who’s ever fought a war knows that a direct, bottle-necked attack is the quickest way to die. Thor says Loki’s smart, you obviously think he’s a genius, so what the hell was he thinking?”

“I’m thinking he wasn’t planning on winning, but why, I have no clue.” The engineer glares at the diagrams as if they hold all the answers. Something doesn’t add up, but Tony can’t just ask Loki. There’s a lot more to this story than a fight between brothers. And this fall from the Bifrost that Loki keeps talking about. Tony knows it’s a bridge that connects their worlds, but what does this fall have to do with anything? He almost loses himself in his thoughts before something else catches his attention. “What do you mean I obviously think he’s a genius? I haven’t said anything about him!”

Steve gives him a look. It’s uncomfortably close to one Natasha would’ve given him, and Tony decides that Steve’s been spending way too much time with the assassin. “I may not know much about science and tech, but I’m not an idiot. Every time you mention Loki or even refer to him, you get this look in your eye. I would call it admiration, or even respect if we weren’t talking about you, and the only way you’d look like that would be if you considered him as smart as or smarter than you. So, in short, a genius.”

Tony is about to deny it when he realizes that Steve hit the nail on the head. Loki is awesome, and Tony knows this. Tony also considers himself awesome, and Steve knows this. Loki’s abilities and knowledge demand respect and admiration, and thanks to Steve, Tony realizes that he’s only too happy to provide it. Steve is still watching him, and Tony’s been too quiet for too long to deny it now. Instead, he goes for a sheepish expression. “Can you really blame me? He’s fascinating. First there’s the magic and then his choices… I haven’t been bored once since starting this. If we had met under different circumstances, I’m pretty sure we’d be friends.” Steve looks shocked at Tony’s admission, but doesn’t otherwise react. He’s always been good at reading people, and to Steve, it looks like Tony’s become infatuated with the trickster god. At the moment, Steve can’t decide whether or not it’s a bad thing.

Tony shifts uncomfortably, waiting for Steve to say something. He hadn’t realized how much the super-soldier’s opinion meant to him, and Steve’s speculative silence is making him worried. Steve looks around at all of Tony’s diagrams and calculations, remembering how relaxed and content the engineer had looked. For the time being, he decides, it is not really a bad thing after all. Besides, if Tony’s theory is right, Loki may not be as bad as they think he is. Things are rarely as black and white as people like to believe, and grey areas tend to pop up. For now, he will let Tony’s new Loki fascination be.

“I can understand where you’re coming from. Trying to figure out Loki is like trying to fit together a blank puzzle. Of course you’d find that fascinating.” Tony instantly feels relieved, and has to marvel at Steve’s accurateness. The guy can really see through some things. Hopefully, Steve will remember this conversation later when the cat’s out of the bag.

Chuckling at his wonderful analogy, Tony finishes up his lunch while working on a set of calculations. Steve stays with him until the food is gone, and takes the dirty dishes back up with him, obviously happy about the time spent with Tony. The engineer feels much the same. He’d really missed his friend.

Tony works for a little while longer before he decides that he’s done enough for the day. He can start tweaking the actual scanners tomorrow. He’s in the elevator and halfway up to his floor when his thoughts catch up with him. Tony isn’t the kind of person to decide ‘enough is enough’ in his lab. Tony’s the kind of person to keep working until he collapses or someone drags him out of the lab. The lab is his favorite place to be, always has been. It still is, sort of, but now Tony finds himself eager to hang out with Loki. A couple more seconds on this train of thought tells him that it isn’t even because of the sex, which was fucking awesome. He genuinely likes the guy, would even consider him a close friend. Tony shudders and makes a face. That can’t be healthy.

When he arrives on his floor, Tony is pleasantly surprised. Loki’s already ordered the food. Containers are stacked up on the bar and Tony can smell tomatoes and garlic. He hopes Loki discovered Italian food and that he wouldn’t hold pizza against it. Speaking of the god, Tony looks around the room and nearly laughs when he spots him. Loki is sprawled upside down on the couch, with his head hanging near the floor. He’s staring grumpily at his tablet and so far hasn’t noticed Tony’s presence. Or he has and he doesn’t care. It’s hard to tell with Loki. “So you’ve finished the Harry Potter series, huh?” Loki’s eyes flick over to him. A second passes before the god sighs and rights himself. Tony’s mouth goes dry as he watches those tight pants show off the god’s form. Tony’s seen him naked, and it’s an amazing sight, but he also knows how to appreciate the wrapping just as much as the present.

“I’ve finished the books, yes, though I am not satisfied with how they treated the Malfoy boy. His ending left much to be desired.”

“You don’t always get the ending you want. What’d you order?”

“Italian. Jarvis placed the order, so if you don’t like it don’t blame me.” Shaking his head, Tony grabs the food and Loki gets the plates. The food is dished out in relative silence, and Tony can tell Loki’s still thinking about the books.

“You know, there’s movies about the books.”

Loki looks up from his food. “Movies? Are they any good?”

“Yeah. They’re pretty great, actually. There are eight of them. Do you want to watch them later?”

A smile spreads across Loki’s face. “I would.” The smile disappears a moment later as his brows scrunch. “Eight movies? There are only seven books.”

“The seventh one is in two parts.”

“Ah.” He looks delighted again, and Tony smiles to himself, munching happily on his garlic bread. He doesn’t question how Loki knows what movies are. Unlike Thor, Loki actually tries to understand Midgardian cultures, and has already mastered the internet. Anything after that is child’s play.

The movie ends up being put on the back burner.

After dinner, Loki saunters over to Tony and straddles his lap. The engineer’s hands instantly shoot out to grip Loki’s hips, and the god grinds down, letting loose a smirk at Tony’s pleased groan. Maybe it’s the situation, most likely it’s Loki, but Tony is instantly hard. The god chuckles at his enthusiasm and rubs himself against Tony once more before getting up as abruptly as he’d sat down. Tony’s hands grab for him, but Loki dances out of the way. He walks to the bedroom without looking back, and Tony is more than happy to follow.

Loki barely waits for Tony to walk into the room before he pins him up against the wall and starts kissing along his neck. Tony’s hands find their way back to Loki’s hip, and he pushes their groins together. They both stop to moan at that, and Tony can feel the vibrations from it along his throat. Loki sucks and nips at a spot just below Tony’s ear, no doubt leaving a very obvious bruise there. At the moment, Tony doesn’t really care. They break apart to strip, leaving finesse for another day, and crash together again, gloriously naked. Loki’s hands slide down Tony’s chest, lingering at the bandages, before continuing down and around to grab at Tony’s ass.

He pulls Tony even closer to him, letting his head fall back with a gasp as Tony bends to press his mouth against a nipple. The gods lets him lick and nip for a while, and Tony is enjoying the pleased sounds he manages to drag from him. Tony feels the god’s rumbling chuckle before he hears it, and suddenly, Loki is on his knees. Without wasting any time, Loki takes Tony into his mouth, laughing at Tony’s surprised shout. The engineer’s hips try to buck forward, but Loki holds him firmly in place as he works his lips and tongue. Tony can barely manage to stand, and truly embarrassing noises are pouring from his mouth. They might have been words, but Loki’s tongue is so skilled that they probably aren’t understandable.

Almost too soon, Tony is close to the edge. He tries to warn Loki.  “Lo—ah! I’m—” The god doesn’t pull off. He locks eyes with Tony and hums. The vibrations do him in, and Tony loses it. His orgasm crashes into him, and Loki swallows everything effortlessly.

After he spent himself, Loki pulls off and laughs at Tony’s dazed expression. Tony doesn’t know if the god moved or not, but the bottle of lube is instantly in Loki’s hands. It seems that they’re not going to be using the bed, as Loki bends Tony over the dresser, preps him, and takes him there. The god sets a brutal pace, and it isn’t long before Tony is hard again. With the angle Loki’s got, he manages to brush against a spot in Tony that makes the inventor see stars. Tony’s never been a quiet bottom, he’s yelling himself hoarse, and Loki is loving it.

Not wanting Loki to have all the fun, Tony clenches around him, wringing a strangled moan out of the god. He pushes back to meet Loki thrust for thrust, and the god certainly appreciates it. His arm sneaks around to take hold of Tony, and all it takes is a couple of pumps to push Tony over the edge. Loki follows Tony soon after, biting Tony’s shoulder to smother the moans. It doesn’t really hurt, though it will leave a mark, and it doesn’t really work to cover the sounds Loki is making. Tony can feel Loki shudder against him, and he enjoys every bit of it.

Afterwards, as Loki checks Tony’s shoulder, the engineer catches his pleased smirk. He knows it’ll leave a mark, and Loki is very proud of it. Tony leans heavily against the dresser, and Loki leans against him for a couple of minutes while they both catch their breath. Loki recovers first, and he walks over to the bed, making Tony groan as he pulls out. Tony follows soon after on wobbly legs, collapsing face-first onto the mattress. His stomach is starting to hurt from where it was pressed up against the dresser, and he’s sure it’s going to bruise. He doesn’t exactly mind, and is secretly pleased about all the mark’s Loki’s left on him.

He stays face-down like that even as he feels Loki sit up next to him. Loki doesn’t like that Tony isn’t really moving. “Stark.” He pokes Tony’s side. “Stark.” He pokes him again. “Are you alright, or have my skills permanently disabled your higher functions?” He sounds vaguely worried, and Tony realizes that under the sarcasm, Loki is actually checking to see if he’s hurt him. He figures he’d better move, so he rolls over and groans.

“What do you want?” He tries to sound grumpy, he really does, but it’s clear in Tony’s voice that he enjoyed himself.  

Loki realizes this and smirks, smugness radiating off him. “I want to watch the movie now.”

Fuck first, movie after. Tony can appreciate that. “Jarvis, bring down the screen and put on Harry Potter. The first one, please.”

“Right away, sir.”

“We’re watching it here?”

“I don’t feel like moving.” Loki nods, because of course this is the most sensible course of action. By the time the movie starts playing, Tony’s leaning against the headboard and Loki is sprawled over the bed, lying on his stomach with his chin resting on a pillow. He looks really excited and Tony has to work to keep from laughing. If he laughed, Loki would get embarrassed and leave in a huff, and however amusing it might be, Tony doesn’t want him to leave. Tony doesn’t make it to the end of the movie, falling asleep before Fluffy does.

****

When he hears Stark’s soft snores, Loki looks back and smiles softly at what he sees. Before he fully realizes what he’s doing, Loki pulls the blankets over Stark’s sleeping form and presses a kiss to his brow. Stark shifts slightly, burrowing down into the blankets and moving closer to the god. Loki freezes, barely an inch away from the human. Wide green eyes roam over Stark’s face, and Loki takes a deep breath before slowly moving back.

The move was too tender, too loving, for Loki to ignore. Sex is one thing, but this? Movie forgotten, Loki sits back, staring at Stark. The human sleeps peacefully, oblivious to the god’s inner turmoil. One thing is clear, though. Underneath the swirling mass of emotions, Loki’s magic sings happily, reaching out to spread calm and contentment. Loki’s eyes close in defeat, and they are clearer than ever when he opens them. He is lost, and in a moment of weakness, he prays to whoever may listen that Stark will find him.  He doesn’t deserve it, he knows, and even though it may be in vain, Loki prays none the less. After the thought fully settles in his mind, however, he tries to shake it away. He cannot even dare to hope for this, not now.

****

Unknown to him, somebody hears his prayers, and is very shocked. She never thought to hear such desperation from Loki, and she smiles secretively. This may well be very fun for her.

****

The god tries to watch the rest of the movie, but decides that it is a waste of his time. His mind if too distracted to properly enjoy it. Sighing, he asks Jarvis to turn it off and climbs under the blankets next to Stark. He hopes the human is smart enough not to ask him any questions about it in the morning.  After a couple seconds of worrying, Loki comes up with a plan. If Stark isn’t smart enough, Loki can always distract him with sex. He graces the human with a fond yet mischievous smile. It will work, if only because Stark has a one-track mind.

Loki does not sleep much that night. He feels too energized, too keyed up. Instead, he dozes, taking what rest he can while remaining aware. This is how he notices the minute Stark’s dreams turn sour. Pain flairs in Loki’s heart, and he can acutely feel each beat. Whatever it is Stark’s dreaming about, it terrifies him. The human starts twitching, and when Loki looks over he sees that Stark’s face is twisted into a grimace. Sweat is beginning to form along his brow, and without thinking, Loki reaches over and runs his hand along Stark’s face, soothing the expression into one of peaceful slumber. He almost misses the coolness of magic running through his fingertips. Stark clearly doesn’t, because the moment he feels it his entire body relaxes and he shuffles closer to Loki. The god absent-mindedly shifts so Stark can use his shoulder as a pillow.

Loki brings his free hand up to his face and stares at his fingers in horror. They are blue, and it was not Æsir magic that he used. If not for Stark’s peaceful breathing and warm presence, Loki would surely be panicking. Slowly, as he watches, the blue begins to fade and his fingers return to their usual color. Loki doesn’t know what this means, but he’s certain it has to do with his theory. He sighs and closes his eyes.

A bond.

If only this had happened before. It really doesn’t matter how long before. Before he knew he was a monster. Before he tried to prove himself otherwise. Before he managed to make himself a monster. Before his family realized it and tossed him away like trash, if there ever was a ‘before’ for that.

He wishes he knew more about the bond. The only information he has comes from the elves and he section of Asgard’s great library that was crumbling into dust. No matter how much he’s always loved them, Loki is not an elf, and not matter how much he wished he could be, Loki is not Æsir. He is Jotun, and despite the elusiveness of information, one thing is absolutely clear. All races will react differently to a bond. Loki knows nothing about Jotuns, save the quickest way to kill them. He knows nothing of their culture, he knows nothing of their experiences with bonds. The most basic explanation of a bond is that Loki’s magic approves of Stark, and so his magic has chosen him. Loki and his magic are one, so by extension, it means that Loki has chosen Stark himself. Loki does not remember ever making such a decision, but it sounds right.

It sounds right, he wants Stark. That thought scares him. Tears begin to fall silently down the god’s face. What does this mean for a creature of magic? He does not know, and he regrets the fact that he’s dragged Stark into this. The human possesses no magic, so the bond can surely only go one way. Loki can leave, distance himself from Stark, hide away in his room if he cannot leave just yet, and spare the human from the horrible burden that is Loki. As he thinks this, his arms curl tighter around Stark, and the human sighs happily, a sound he would never allow past his lips were he awake. The sound keeps Loki in place, though deep down he had no intentions of moving anyway. He needs to leave, he desperately wants to stay. Loki feels like he’s falling apart. He is selfish and he is weak, but Loki does not want to let go of Stark.

He is used to pain, he is used to being hated and ignored. So long as the bond is one way, Loki decides he will take as much as he can for as long as he can. If Stark’s friendship is all he may get, then he will work for it. He has already fallen so far, falling apart is something he is willing to risk. Oh, how his plans have changed.


	8. Conspire Against the Odds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my lovelies! Sorry the update is yet again a day late, I've had to write so many essays I'm certain my hands are going to fall off (though if that's the case, do not worry, as I'll learn to type with my feet so I can keep updating). 
> 
> And so, without further ado, please enjoy chapter 8 of This is Gospel, which is now almost the longest thing I've ever written!

Tony feels wide awake the minute he opens his eyes. He’s never been so full of energy. Disbelief courses through him and he squeezes his eyes shut again. Loki is asleep, laying on his back, and Tony is sprawled half on him half off, using the god’s chest as a pillow. It shouldn't be as comfortable as it is, but after taking a moment to discreetly stretch and flex, Tony finds that he feels perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect. No ache from last night (which is a shame), no neck pain, and his chest feels great. The feeling is so surreal that Tony wonders whether or not this is a dream. It would make much more sense that way. Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Tony decides to just accept it and be grateful and move on with his life.

Opening his eyes again, Tony closely examines Loki’s face. Maybe it’s the surreal-ness of the morning so far, maybe it’s because he’s crazy, but Tony really wants to do something that is nowhere near the norm for his usual behavior. The god looks like he’s fast asleep, and so the engineer decides to take a risk. Carefully, he edges closer to the god until he can press his face into the dip of Loki’s shoulder. As he hoped, the god smells amazing there, a scent that is pure Loki, and Tony breathes deeply. He doesn’t know why he suddenly felt like doing that, and he doesn’t much care. Tony absolutely loves the way Loki smells, and he’s decided to take what he can get. Besides, if Loki wakes up and demands to know why Tony’s snuggling/sniffing him, Tony can just pretend he’s asleep.

Laying like that, Tony almost does fall asleep again, but Loki starts to move, startling him into awareness. Tony tries not to tense and succeeds in feigning sleep, while beneath him Loki stretches before gently extracting himself from Tony’s hold. The engineer is surprised by the care in the gesture. He’s surprised again when the god doesn’t actually get out of bed, instead staying to lie beside Tony. Curiosity burning, Tony tries to wait a bit more before ‘waking up’. He’s only really ever had one morning after with the god, and Loki had been quick to leave. Desperate to add more to his image of Loki but wanting his lie to be convincing, Tony has to fight to keep from squirming. It’s a struggle, but he thinks he manages to last an appropriate amount of time before he stretches slightly and yawns. When he opens his eyes, he finds that Loki is watching him with a smirk.

“Morning, Lo-lo, fancy meeting you here.”

The god laughs, shaking his head. “I’m sure it’s quite the shock for you.”

“Yeah, actually, I don’t really know how to handle it,” Tony replies, mostly joking but just a little bit serious. Loki doesn’t miss this, and his face goes carefully blank. “I’m kind of surprised you ended up staying the night,” he continues, oblivious to Loki’s expression, “but I’ve got to say I can’t complain. You are extremely comfortable.” Loki perks up and Tony stretches again, enjoying the way Loki’s eyes travel down the parts of him that the blanket leaves exposed. “Maybe a little too comfortable, actually.”

Loki looks curious. “Oh?”

“Yeah, sounds odd but… hmm…” Tony trails off and sits up, staring down at his bandaged chest and obviously distracted. Loki sits up when he starts to unwind the bandages.

“What are you doing, Stark?”

“Testing a theory.”

“And what theory is that?” Tony ignores the god’s question and finishes unwrapping his chest. Once all the bandages are gone, he stares at it in shock. After a couple of seconds, he turns to face Loki. The god’s eyes widen slightly, and he reaches out to touch Tony’s chest, but pulls his hands away at the last second. Tony’s chest is completely healed. There isn’t a single scar in sight, and even the skin around the arc reactor is smooth, almost seamless when it connects with the metal.

“Well, it’s not actually a theory, because I’ve got no idea why this happened, I just suspected.” When the god doesn’t reply, Tony looks at him and is confused by what he sees. Loki is staring at his hands. Well, staring isn’t really the right word. Loki is glaring murderously at his hands, and Tony’s surprised they haven’t burst into flame from the strength of it. “Hey, Reindeer Games, you okay?” Tony pokes him, not ungently, and Loki looks up as if from a daze.

He quickly gains control of his expression. “I think I may have caused that. I felt my magic surge during the night, but thought nothing of it.”

“Oh. Okay, cool. Thanks!”

“Thanks?” The god looks nonplused. “Why in the world would you be thanking me?”

“Uh, because I’m healed? And you’re the one who healed me?”

“I used magic on you without your permission, you should be offended.”

Tony snorts. “Is this more Asgard bullshit? Uh, no, I’m happy for it. In fact, I feel great, so thanks.” The god offers Tony a small smile, and the engineer knows he hit the nail on the head. Fucking Asgardians sound retarded. “Anyways,” Tony continues, “do you think the surge had something to do with your magic replenishing?”

Loki looks almost relieved when Tony suggests this. “Possibly. Magic does have a mind of its own. Although,” his eyes drag down Tony’s body, “I am not too happy with the results.” His fingers reach up and brush one of the spots he’d sucked a mark onto the night previous. Of course, it’s been healed. “So much work, erased.” His voice drops to a husky whisper and Tony grins.

“I guess you’re just going to have to do it again.”

“Hmm, perhaps I shall.” His hand brushes down Tony’s side, making the engineer shiver, and then, with a smirk, Loki gets up and walks towards the bathroom. Tony, busy staring at the god in his naked glory, almost misses Loki’s next words. “Are you going to sit there and stare, Stark or are you going to join me?” The minute the words register, Tony is up and out of the bed, chasing a chuckling Loki into the bathroom.

A long while later, they finally make it out of the shower. Tony’s grinning like an idiot, and Loki looks extremely smug, probably because Tony’s marked up like a high school paper. They sort of get dressed, Tony pulling on a pair of jeans and Loki settling on his sweats, before heading to their ‘kitchen’ for some coffee and food. As usual, Tony has far too much of the former, completely ignoring the latter, and Loki nags him for skipping breakfast while Tony fixes their coffee.

Today, however, their ignore their seats at the bar and just head straight for the couch, dumping their breakfast on the coffee table and sitting in a tangle of limbs. Tony never knew that Loki was such a touchy-feely person, and he personally really enjoys it. Tony’s always been happiest when he’s touching somebody else—sexual or otherwise.

A morning like this, Tony decides after realizing that it’s not even noon, is worth waking up for. He’s seriously debating whether or not he should go down to the lab for the day or if he and Loki should watch the next Harry Potter movie, surprising himself. Usually, the lab always wins, especially when he’s got a project to work on, like he does now. He opens his mouth to ask Loki what he wants to do, when Jarvis makes an announcement.

“Sir, Captain Rogers has called the Avengers together for a meeting. He says that if you do not go downstairs immediately, he will assume emergency protocol and come up to get you himself. I am inclined to agree with him.”

Tony groans and leans into Loki’s shoulder. “Is there an actual emergency?”

“Not presently, sir, but Agent Romanov assures me that she can create one. Agent Barton demands that you ‘get your lazy ass out of bed’ and join them.”

“Jarvis, language!” Tony admonishes in mock outrage, tickled pink that his AI had used foul language. Hearing swear words in that dry British voice never fails to amuse him.

“If I remember correctly,” Loki purrs, pressing kisses along Tony’s neck, “your ass has been anything but lazy.”

Tony chuckles, leaning into his touch. “You should know.” Loki laughs and Tony can feel it rumble through his chest.

“Shall I inform Captain Rogers that you will be down presently?” If an AI could sound impatient, Jarvis would definitely manage it. Tony is about to tell him that no, he shall not, when Loki laughs again.

“Yes, Stark will be heading down now.”

“Hey!” Tony turns betrayed eyes on Loki as the god pushes the engineer off of him. He’s smirking, obviously enjoying himself, and so Tony sits up in a huff and stalks away to the elevator. Before he can step in, however, Loki comes up behind him, spins him around and presses him against a wall. The god then proceeds to claim Tony’s lips in a toe-curling kiss, pressing their hips together and leaving Tony moaning. All too soon, Loki pulls back and eyes Tony happily, obviously pleased with his work. With an even bigger smirk, he shoves the half-naked engineer into the elevator.

After the doors have closed and Tony comes back to his senses, he realizes two things: he’s not wearing a shirt, so all the marks Loki left on him are visible, and he’s got a raging hard-on that his jeans are doing nothing to hide. With the way he looks, even Steve will know what he’s been up to. He grins and stares up at the ceiling. _Evil bastard,_ he thinks fondly. If this wasn’t such a usual occurrence for him, Tony would probably be nervous. As it is, he’s really only amused. It looks like Loki’s staking a claim. The idea makes Tony absolutely delighted.

By the time he arrives on the common floor, Tony’s positive he still looks kind of dazed. Natasha is the first person to see him, and her eyebrows fly up. She lets out a low whistle and the others turn to look at him. Steve’s eyebrows draw together for a second before realization sets in and he turns a bright, American red. Clint starts grinning madly and he shoves Tony into the seat next to him.

“Back to your old habits, eh? What’s she like?”

Tony laughs good and hard as he pictures his friends’ reactions to the bomb he’s about to drop. “Nope, I am not back to my old habits, and he’s great.” Clint’s mouth drops open, and Steve goes even redder, if that’s possible. Thor and Natasha look completely unaffected, aside from mild curiosity on the thunderer’s side.

Bruce walks in with two mugs of coffee to complete silence and a madly grinning Tony. He gives one of the mugs to Tony and settles himself in his chair before asking any questions. “What happened?” He asks with a sigh, already guessing it has something to do with Tony.

Clint recovers first. “Pepper turned Tony gay!” He sounds incredulous and Natasha snickers. Oddly, the statement doesn’t make Tony angry like it would’ve a week or two ago. Now he’s just amused by Clint’s retardation.

“No she didn’t, bird brain, I’m bi, always have been,” he responds loftily.

“So Tony’s been sleeping with someone? That’s hardly new,” Bruce scoffs. “Why do you all look so scandalized?”

“Apparently Tony’s new man is going to be sticking around for a while,” Natasha comments dryly. Trust her to always hear what hasn’t been said. Now even Bruce looks a little shocked.

“C’mon guys, is it really so hard to picture me having some sort of relationship?” Which isn’t really what he has with Loki, but he’s got no idea what to call it, so relationship it is. He can’t really go around calling it a ‘thing’.

“You’ve only ever had one serious relationship, Tony,” Steve says gently, thinking they’ve upset him. The super-soldier’s been tiptoeing around Tony a lot recently, despite their resumed lunches. The bisexual-thing probably isn’t helping, but Steve’s putting in some real effort. “This is big news.” Honestly, Tony’s surprised by how easily Steve’s taking this. Since he grew up in a different time, Tony thought he’d be more shocked.

“It’s not big news, and it’s definitely not why you dragged me out of bed.” He was already out of bed, but that’s not important.

“Right,” Steve nods, “we’re supposed to be having a meeting. I want to send everybody out on patrols, starting tomorrow. Things have been way too quiet lately, and frankly, it’s making me worried. I also think that we should start doing team training sessions.”

“Okay, I definitely agree with the first thing, but team training? That sounds like an awful idea.” Bruce is nodding along with him. They have different reasons for wanting to avoid group training sessions, but Tony’s not going to comment.

Natasha, however, leans forward eagerly. “I actually think that’s a great idea.” When Tony goes to complain, she holds up a hand. “No, I don’t care what you have to say. Our coordination is okay, but it can be better. Besides, out of all of us, you need it most, with and without the suit.”

“Without the suit?” Tony echoes, completely shocked by the idea. He’s nothing without the suit.

Natasha seems to read those thoughts on his face. “Yes, definitely without the suit. If something happens and you end up suit less for whatever reason, we still need you to be able to fight. I’m not expecting you to turn into anything like Thor or Steve, but Clint and I should be able to teach you some tricks to use in close combat.”

Clint nods. “Yeah, that would be fun! But if your hands stray anywhere I don’t want them, I’m not teaching you anything.”

Steve bristles, but Tony recognizes the joke in the words. Clint’s being completely sarcastic. “As if, Barton. You are so not my taste.”

Clint pouts dramatically. “No need to be mean.”

“I was only being honest, bird brain.” Clint mock-punches the engineer in the shoulder and Steve visibly relaxes when Tony starts to laugh. Tony thinks the poor captain is way too uptight.

Shaking his head, said captain calls the meeting back to order. “Okay guys, I’ll make up a schedule for patrols and send it to you tonight. Anyone who has something they absolutely can’t get out of tomorrow should let me know before the day is done. And no, Tony, your bed does not count as an excuse.” Tony pouts. “We’ll decide when to hold the training sessions later.”

“Um,” Bruce begins uncertainly, “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to participate…” He stares at his clasped hands the entire time he speaks.

Tony really hates it when his friend looks so small. “You know I’ve Hulk-proofed areas of the gym, and I know you won’t hurt us, so I don’t particularly care how you’re going to join in. If you’re not comfortable with that, you can always sit and watch and get a feel for how we work as a team,” Tony supplies helpfully. Bruce seems to like the idea, and though he still looks a bit nervous, he nods his head in agreement.

Steve looks slightly shocked. “Well, that is, um, oddly helpful. It’s a great idea, actually.”

Tony stands, smirking. “Yeah, I have those occasionally. Well, gotta go, plenty of things to do.”

“Things or guys?” Clint mumbles. Tony doesn’t bother to answer, though the comment sets him laughing. The entirety of his team, save Natasha and Thor, watch him go with slightly shocked expressions. They’ve never seen Tony laugh so much.

He saunters off to the elevator, in a relatively good mood despite the forced training sessions, but is slightly put out when Natasha follows him into the elevator. Sighing regretfully, Tony pushes the button for his lab, rather than going back up to his floor.

“Not too keen on me meeting your new beau?” She asks sarcastically.

There’s no bite to it, though, so Tony flashes her a grin. “He’s a very private person.”

“And he’s with you?”

Tony laughs. “Good point. Well, he’s keen on being private right now. Later on… well, we’ll see.”

Natasha seems very happy with his answer, and graces him with a smile. It’s a rare occurrence, and so far only Steve and Clint have managed to get her to do it. Tony feels honored, but he knows better than to say so. “So what’s up? Are you enjoying our one-on-one time?”

The assassin snorts and shakes her head. “Yes. It’s my favorite part of the day.” Her voice is drier than the desert, and Tony struggles to keep his face straight. Natasha allows another small smile before she cuts to the point. “I looked over the surveillance tapes from the board meeting.” All traces of humor gone, Natasha walks over to a stool and sits down.

“Ah.” Tony remains standing, his gaze fixed on a scorch mark on the wall. “What did I do wrong? How can I avoid that happening again?” He doesn’t hate Pepper, he really doesn’t, and so he needs to figure out how to act around her so she doesn’t get upset again. Everything was his fault, after all. He should be able to fix it. Natasha stays quiet for too long, and so Tony finally looks at her. She looks kind of sad, and Tony is confused for a bit.

“It’s not your fault, Tony,” she says, as if she can read his thoughts. “I watched the tapes, you were perfect at the meeting.”

Tony fidgets, unused to getting praise from the assassin. “I snapped at the end, though…”

Natasha shakes her head. “Not really. Your reactions were completely appropriate. Pepper though…” she trails off thoughtfully before she fixes her gaze on Tony again. “I think she can tell you’re in a new relationship.”

“I am not,” Tony scoffs. “It’s just sex, first off, and nothing actually happened before than anyways.”

Natasha looks skeptical, and then she looks intensely amused. Tony is suddenly a little afraid. Natasha being amused promises nothing good, almost like a certain Norse god. “And,” she continues, as if Tony didn’t interrupt her, “she thinks you were trying to rub it in her face.”

“Rub what?”

“You’ve been happy lately. Your eyes have been shining like I’ve never seen. Anybody who looks at you can tell, so don’t bother denying it. Even Clint’s noticed, and you know how much of an idiot he is outside of work. So, you’re obviously happy and you were actually trying to do your job for what may be the first time since you took over the company.”

“But you told me to do that,” Tony interrupts irritably, ignoring what she said about his happiness. He doesn’t want to think about that. “You said it would work.”

“I thought it would, but I also thought you’d flake out and sulk halfway through.”

“You did? Why? And how would that help anything?”

“I thought you would because that’s just how you are, and it would help because Pepper knows that too. You would have tried, and then not really have done so well, and it would be as if everything was back to normal. Pepper would swoop in to clean up your mess, and the meeting would’ve undoubtedly started off rocky, but by the end Pepper should’ve been back to fond exasperation.”

Tony frowns. “So it was my fault.”

Natasha frowns and gets up to poke him in the ribs. “Stop that! It was not your fault. You’ve changed. You stuck with the plan the entire time, you were honest, and you wanted to do well, not only for your sake but for everyone’s. The old you never would have done that.”

Tony scowls while rubbing his ribs. Natasha’s pokes hurt. “I haven’t changed. I am still the same old narcissistic, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist you all know and love.”

Natasha smirks. “I think we can remove the ‘playboy’ part of your title.” Tony makes an indignant noise and the assassin grins further. “Whatever you say, then. But honestly Tony, this one’s on Pepper. She probably thought you were trying to show her that you didn’t need her.”

“Bullshit! My company would fall apart in days without Pepper! She knows that!”

Natasha shakes her head. “I thought she did, but evidently she doesn’t, especially now. You’re the all-powerful Tony Stark. You can afford to hire an army of PAs and secretaries that could replace her in an instant.”

“But I wouldn’t do that! Past relationship aside, Pepper is excellent at what she does. I would not give up her skills so easily, and I’m not awful enough to do that!” Tony yells angrily. Why do people always have horrible opinions of him? Why does _Pepper_ have such an awful opinion of him? She knows him, for Christ’s sake! He’s an ass, yeah, but he’s not _mean._

“I know you wouldn’t do it, and I don’t know why Pepper thinks you would, but that’s how I see it. Besides, you’ve already replaced her outside of work, she probably thinks it’s only a matter of time.”

Tony lifts his head and glares at the assassin, eyes deadly cold. “He is not Pepper’s replacement,” he growls, livid. “Don’t ever talk about him like that again. It’s probably not the best thing to say to Natasha, but Tony doesn’t really care at the moment. Loki is nobody’s replacement. He is in a class all of his own. Tony has never and will never think of Loki as a replacement. Whatever the hell Loki is to Tony, he is new and exhilarating and something Tony has a feeling he’ll never get tired of, something he’d want to keep forever. Not a fucking _replacement!_

He’s so caught up in his anger that he almost doesn’t realize what he just thought. When he does, though, Tony falls onto the nearest stool, his face going slack with shock. He wants to keep Loki. He wants him to stay. He knew he liked Loki way more than he should, but this? This feels different. He feels… possessive, to say the least. Tony abandons that train of thought as soon as possible, terrified of where it may lead.

“How long?” Natasha’s voice interrupts his chaotic thoughts, and Tony jumps. He forgot she was there.

“How long what?”

The assassin leans forward, eyes piercing. “How long has he been with you?” The question startles Tony. The answer seems simple enough, but it never is with Natasha. Besides, the usual question is ‘how long have you been with him’. Her phrasing makes it look like she knows a lot more about Tony’s new ‘beau’ than she’s letting on. Tony’s immediate instinct is to lie and say that it’s been since the board meeting, but something stops him.

“Since I got off that damn couch.”

Natasha inhales sharply, and Tony meets her eyes. He doesn’t look away, and he sure as hell doesn’t look ashamed. After a moment or two of their silent stand-off, Natasha sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “This new honesty thing of yours is going to get you killed, Tony.”

That is not what Tony was expecting her to say. “On the contrary, I think it’s keeping me alive,” he jokes nervously. “Besides,” he continues, when it looks like she isn’t going to kill him, “I wouldn’t lie to him, so why should I keep lying to all of you? It’s fucking hard.”

She holds a hand up. “Tony, stop. Don’t tell me anything else about him. I can’t know.”

“Why not?” He realizes how stupid that question sounds and hurries to elaborate. “Well, I know the general reasons why not, but those never usually apply to you and it looks like you’ve already figured it out, so why not?” His elaboration quickly turns into nervous babbling as the seriousness of the situation finally sinks it. Why couldn’t they still be talking about Pepper, dammit!

“I have a theory, yes, but it hasn’t been openly confirmed. It’s _just_ a theory. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but _do not confirm my theory._ If I am right, then I will have to act and you _will not like it._ I have no doubt that it will be confirmed eventually, but it’s too early right now, isn’t it?” Surprised, Tony can only nod dumbly. Natasha knows, but she doesn’t _know._ To Tony, there isn’t much of a difference, but apparently the distinction means everything to the assassin, and so she’s helping him.  Her words ring true, though.

If Loki is revealed now, still healing and with this new _thing_ between them, something bad is bound to happen. Despite his earlier thoughts, he doesn’t know what he wants to happen between him and Loki, but one thing is certain. He definitely wants something to happen, whatever it may be.

Once she’s certain Tony sees the wisdom in her words, Natasha stands up to leave. “Just so you know, I meant what I said the other day. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I’ve got absolutely no idea what I’m doing, but I promise you that I’m going to give it my all,” he says fervently.

She sighs again, but it’s not a bad sound. It sounds kind of fond, actually. “Alright, I’ll take it. But if you get us killed, I will murder you.”

Tony grins happily. “Thanks, Tasha.”

She smiles again. “I want new gadgets,” she demands, and with that, the elevator doors close behind her, finally leaving the engineer alone.


	9. Truth Be Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings! I've finally managed to get a chapter out on time, hooray! Here's to another chapter of This is Gospel!

Loki tries to keep himself amused while Stark attends his team meeting. It is difficult, as the god is nervous. He sent Stark down looking absolutely ravished. On one hand, Loki is positive that Stark will be thinking of him. The rest of the team will be thinking about Loki too, once they see Stark, but they won’t know it’s him. They will see that Stark belongs to the god, and the thought fills Loki with pleasure.

However, on the other hand, Stark is not his. The meeting could very well be about Loki, and Stark could suddenly remember who Loki is and what he’s done.  Perhaps Stark will even be angry with him for exposing him like that, especially so soon after his breakup with that woman. He could be exposing Loki at this very moment. Anxiety and hurt curl in Loki’s gut, but the god steels himself and brushes the thought away. Stark would never do something like that. The human gave Loki his word, and Loki trusts that. He hasn’t trusted anything in a long while, and it does nothing to alleviate his anxiety, but Loki clings to it anyways. Stark has done nothing to let him down so far.

Deciding that he needs something to distract himself, Loki turns his attention to his magic. It is healing nicely, replenishing quickly whenever Stark touches him. He should be able to resume using magic like normal by tomorrow. No powerful spells yet, but this is still so much faster than Loki could’ve hoped for. For this, he is grateful to Stark.

The god wastes away his morning browsing the internet from his tablet. Well, it is technically Stark’s tablet, but Loki’s appropriated it for himself, but Stark does not seem to mind. Somehow, he ends up on a world history website. Humans change fascinatingly quickly with some major upheaval or change occurring every century or so. For a god who comes from a stagnant civilization that was already ancient when Midgard was young, these changes are wondrous. He is reading about the industrial revolution when his patience leaves him and his anxiety returns full-force.

Stark is taking too long, and Loki wants him to come back up. “Jarvis, how is Stark’s meeting progressing?”

“Sir’s meeting has concluded and he is now in his lab.” The god sighs, wanting to be relieved that the meeting is over but irritated that Tony didn’t come back up. The idiot human probably thought of some spectacular invention halfway through his meeting and rushed off to create it, completely forgetting everything else. Despite his irritation, the god can’t help but smile. That’s just how Tony is, and Loki wouldn’t have it any other way. His smile turns into a frown when he thinks that.

No inexplicable feelings were created by the bond, Loki is certain. Even before his misguided invasion, Loki had been intrigued by Stark, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys thinking like a lovesick fool. Friendship, he reminds himself, is the most he will ask of Stark. “Jarvis, can you open communications with Stark?”

“Of course, one moment.” The god nods his head in thanks and leans back in his seat. For a moment, nothing happens, and Loki is about to ask Jarvis if he’s connected when he hears a voice he does not expect.

“You’ve already replaced her outside of work.” It’s that Romanov woman. She must be in the lab with Stark. Loki goes still, listening carefully.

Stark’s voice bursts through the comms, absolutely livid. “He is not Pepper’s replacement, don’t ever say that again!” It shocks Loki and sets his heart beating dangerously fast. Stark is… Stark is _defending_ him. Stark is angry on Loki’s behalf. Stark is indignant that Loki is being thought of as a replacement. If Loki hadn’t already been sitting, he would have fallen. He curses this weakness that the bond has awakened in him. His traitorous heart clenches, and Loki has to work to stay still. Dammed bond, dammed Stark. Loki can’t afford to feel like this. Not now, alone and in broad daylight. Jarvis records everything, Stark could see, he has to keep his face blank. He listens to them talk for a while more, his heart nearly stopping when Romanov switches from casual inquiry to serious questioning. Stark doesn’t notice the change, it is much too subtle, and Loki must admit, she is _good._

“I wouldn’t lie to him, so why should I keep lying to you?” Stark’s voice seems to echo, and Loki doesn’t hear Romanov’s reply. Momentarily, Loki forgets to breathe, and when he finally inhales, it comes in a rush. Desperately, he makes a cutting motion with his hand, hoping Jarvis will understand.

“Communications have been terminated.” The god makes a choked noise and slumps over as silence surrounds him. Why had the AI shown him that? Why? “Why?” he asks out loud, but Jarvis remains silent. He will get no answers from the AI.

Silently, he curses Stark for his honesty, but at the same time, he treasures it. As much as a creature such as himself is allowed to do. He and Stark, they are liars. They are tricksters, showmen, they wear masks wherever they go, yet Stark claims that he wouldn’t lie to Loki. The god puts his face in his hands, cursing the heart he never knew he had, cursing these blasted emotions, cursing this inconvenient bond. Stark says he wouldn’t lie to Loki, yet every breath Loki takes is a lie. Every touch he shares with Stark is a lie, every look, _everything._ Loki of Asgard is a lie, and he dare not show the human the monster he really is. He’ll lose everything then, and the thought springs a bitter laugh. He’d already thought he had nothing, but now the universe has again given him something. Something he will no doubt lose, but something.

Loki is loath to admit it, even in the privacy of his own mind, but he had thought he could make a home for himself on Midgard, where his heritage is known to none and where a bit of shape shifting can gain him his freedom. If he became bored, he could emerge as himself and harass the Avengers every now and then, causing no damage but creating chaos. For the god, this is indeed the version of a quiet life, and it was the lure of this life that helped anchor his sanity in Odin’s torture chambers, and it was the hope brought on by this idea that helped Loki regain his mind. He never planned for a bond, he never planned for his thrice cursed feelings to make themselves known, and he can’t even bring himself to wish them away. No matter the inconvenience and no matter the pain, Loki relishes in the bond. It means someone is meant for him, even if he is not meant for them in turn. Loki can accept that. He’s never truly belonged anywhere anyways.

Stark’s honesty though… Romanov was right in one respect. Stark’s honesty will kill someone, and that someone is probably Loki. Sighing, the god gets up from the couch. He can’t sit still any longer, but he soon realizes that pacing brings no satisfaction. He stops by the window and stares at the city outside the glass. He wants to go out, to distance himself from Stark, but at the same time, he wants to see Stark and continue their morning activities. Sighing again, he’s always really hated indecision, Loki backs away from the window until his legs hit the back of the couch. He then inelegantly tumbles backwards so that he’s sprawled upside down on the couch once more. The move is completely deliberate, is in fact the one thing he’ll allow himself in place of sulking, and is greeted by Stark’s laughter.

Loki turns his head quickly and sees the human leaning on the wall next to the elevator. He must have come up while Loki was turned away, and the god curses inwardly. He is too comfortable here, he cannot afford to let his guard down like this. Outwardly, his face remains calm. “Can I help you, Stark?”

The human chuckles. “Are you bored or something?”

“More frustrated than anything. I’ve been inside for far too long.”

“Oh… Well, I wish there was something I could do for you, but as long as you’re you, we really can’t risk going out.” An idea forms in Loki’s mind and he smiles mischievously.

“So if I do not look like myself you’d take me out?”

****

Loki smiling like that usually promises nothing good, or something really good. Tony is both nervous and extremely curious. “Yeah, I’d take you out,” he agrees, and the words are barely out of his mouth before Loki starts shifting before his eyes. A couple of seconds pass, and then the god rights himself, or rather, herself, so she’s sitting up straight on the couch. Tony, despite knowing that Loki is a shape shifter, is shocked.

“I take it you magic recovered?”

Loki shrugs. “Enough to do this. What do you think? Do I still look like me?”

“Um, yes and no… Why are you a woman?” Loki turns to him with a grin on her face, and it still looks like it would, except softer somehow. It is unnerving. Tony’s eyes have found their way to her breasts and are now staring.

“Does it bother you?” It is so strange, she’s still able to purr when she talks to him. Tony never knew how sexy a husky voice could be for a woman.

“Um, no, but I’ve already told everyone you’re a man.” A grin lights up Tony’s face when he remembers his friends’ reactions. “Besides, I prefer you as a guy anyways.”

“Hmm… are you saying that you’d deny me should I desire to fuck you like this?” Tony shivers.

“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. You’re definitely sexy like this too, I mean, it’s _you_ after all. So long as it’s you, I mean, well…” The engineer trails off awkwardly. Loki’s eyes soften, and something uncurls in Tony’s gut. He doesn’t really have time to examine the feeling, however, because Loki is shifting again, and ends up as a man once more.

“Does this suit you, Stark?” This version of Loki is a redhead, and his face is a bit wider, not as narrow or sharp as it usually is. He’s got a bit of a beard, similar to Tony’s but a bit fuller, and his eyes are a bright blue. He still looks like himself, sort of, but Tony has a feeling that the casual observer—or even his own teammates—wouldn’t be able to make the connection. The god narrows his eyes under Tony’s scrutiny. “You look dissatisfied, Stark. Should I turn back into a woman?”

“No, no,” Tony says quickly, “I like you being a guy. It’s just that you look like you, but you don’t look like you, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I wish I could take _you_ out.”

Loki sighs. “Well you cannot. I want to go out and this is the closest I can remain to myself without being obvious. What say you, Stark?”

“Hmm… Can you make your eyes greener?” The words are out before Tony really thinks about what he’s saying, and he panics for a second, thinking that it’s surely the wrong thing to say to Loki. The eyes in question, however, crinkle in a mirthful smile, and green bleeds into the blue. It doesn’t erase the blue completely, and they’re nowhere near their usual intense color, but Tony decides he’ll take it. Loki’s eyes are more familiar now.

“Does this meet your approval, Stark?”

“It’ll do.” The engineer shrugs, trying to cover up his own smile. “Let’s get dressed and then we’ll head out.”

The god grins. “Wonderful.”

Getting dressed ends up taking much longer than they originally intended, but they manage to get down to the garage sometime after noon. Happy is waiting next to the car, Jarvis having called him, and he straightens up when he sees Tony. Loki walks up beside the engineer and pauses shyly behind Tony. Tony, thrown for a loop by Loki’s acting skills—because he definitely is acting—ends up pausing awkwardly before he greets Happy.

“Hey, Hogan, thanks for coming on such short notice.”

“I keep my schedule clear for you, boss. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Liam,” he kind of stumbles over the name because he and Loki didn’t really talk about it in their slap-dash plan. He almost said Luke, but decided that the name is too similar to Loki’s own. He couldn’t get away from the ‘L’ completely though. Unfortunately, Tony ends up sounding as if he’s asking a question.

Luckily, Loki steps in to fix it. “I had heard he’s never been the best with names, but at least he managed to get it right.” Loki smiles shyly, and Tony can barely recognize him. “Hopefully he’ll continue to get his boyfriend’s name right, otherwise it might be embarrassing for him.” Loki gives him a sidelong look, creating the impression of shy insecurity.

Recognizing his cue, Tony begins to play along. “Sorry about that,” he says self-deprecatingly, rubbing his neck as if he was embarrassed. “You’ll just have to punish me if I make a mistake,” Tony continues in his usual flirtatious manner. He _is_ playing himself, after all. It’s Loki who’s playing someone else, and Tony is eager to see how he’ll respond.

Loki blushes, but his eyes flash and he grins. “Don’t tempt me.” He says it quietly, without a hint of shyness and slightly predatorily. Coupled with the blush, it’s a perfect portrayal of new relationship insecurities but a strong personality. Definitely someone Tony would be interested in. Their eyes meet, and it’s quiet for a second before Happy clears his throat.

Tony turns to his driver and friend, offering up a shit-eating grin. “Yes?”

“Where to, boss?”

Tony thinks for a moment. “Hmm, lunch first at that sushi place.”

Happy nods. “Sure thing.” He opens the door for Loki, who smiles his thanks and climbs in, but shuts the door before Tony can follow. “A boyfriend, huh?”

Tony shrugs. “Yeah. You got something against it?”

Happy shakes his head. “No, I’ve got nothing against it. When did this happen?”

“A little more than a week ago, maybe?”

Happy looks nonplused. “You’ve been seeing the same guy for over a week and there’s been nothing in the papers?”

“We’ve been discreet.”

“I didn’t think you knew the meaning of the word.”

“Well, I do. What’s up, Hap? Something’s bothering you.”

“Okay, listen, we’re friends, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been with you and the company since you took over, just as long as Pepper, and I’m friends with her too, you know.”

Tony’s face hardens. He can tell exactly where Happy is going with this. “Spit it out, Hogan.”

“Listen, boss, you don’t do relationships. I’ve only ever seen you in one with Pepper, and that ended badly. Please tell me you’re not doing this to hurt her.”

“I’m not and I wouldn’t. Relax, Hap. He just makes me happy.” He hopes Loki can’t hear him inside the car. It’s the truth but he doesn’t want to advertise it.

“Oh.” Suddenly Happy looks a little embarrassed and slightly ashamed. “Okay, that’s fine then. Good for you…” He trails off awkwardly.

Tony snorts. “Gee thanks. Can I get in the car now?”

Happy nods. “Sure thing, boss.” Shaking his head, Tony climbs into the car as Happy races to the front. Their car ride is quiet, as both Tony and Loki don’t want Happy to hear too much. The god does wear a triumphant smirk throughout, and when Tony looks at him questioningly, Loki only hums and looks out the window. Tony’s glad that the god is in such a good mood, but that smirk… something caused that smirk. Tony is dying of curiosity, but he can’t really ask until they’re in private.

When they reach the restaurant, Tony sends Happy away, saying he’ll call if he needs him, and he eagerly takes Loki into the restaurant. Sushi is something new and he wants to see how Loki will react. Finally seated, Tony glances at Loki over his menu. “Boyfriend, huh?”

The god shrugs, but his expression shifts into something more careful. Tony catches this shift, and has no clue what to make of it. He’s surprised he even saw it in the first place.

“It works, doesn’t it? I’ve no desire to stay inside forever, and I doubt I’ll ever be out without you, and I have no intention of keeping my hands to myself, so boyfriend. It is logical.” He seems almost defensive, and an idea clicks into Tony’s head. It sounds like Loki sort of _wants_ to be his boyfriend, and considering the engineer’s epic realization with Natasha earlier, Tony is extremely delighted. The idea is ridiculous, very highly unlikely, but Tony happily thinks it anyways.

“Since when are you concerned with logic, Spock?” The god shrugs, looking only slightly confused. Tony mentally adds Star Trek to their Must Watch list. “Alright then, lover boy, but remember, I don’t do things by halves. Your face will be on the front page tomorrow.”

Loki grins. “And how, exactly, do you plan on accomplishing that?” It’s a dare, and Tony’s delight only grows.  He doesn’t know if Loki spotted the photographers who came in a little while after them, but then, Loki’s never really had much direct experience with the paparazzi.

“Like this,” he grins, eyes flashing. Loki barely has time to react before Tony stands, leans across their small table and gently pulls Loki in for a kiss. It’s sweet and almost chaste, something Tony’s never done with the god. Regularly, he wouldn’t dare show this much. He’s only just realized he wants the god this morning, rushing things would do him no favors. This time, though, they’re supposed to be acting.

Loki, for the most part, remains still except for reaching up to place one hand over Tony’s and subtly leaning into the kiss. Tony is dimly aware of flashes going off, and when he sits back down he hears the murmuring of people around him. The others may think it impossible, but Tony does know how to be discreet, which is why the media has never caught wind about the other men he’s slept with. He just gave the reporters one hell of a scoop, and he just gave his PR department a crap-ton of paperwork.

Tony smiles at Loki, just a shade different from his usual grin, but the slight difference brings out a softness that Tony doesn’t know he’s showing. Loki looks sort of dazed before he remembers that he has a part to play and blushes slightly, giving Tony a small smile in return. More flashes go off.

Regarding Tony, Loki licks his lips. “Well, you certainly know what to do.”

Tony shrugs. “I was going to kiss you at some point anyways. I saw the paps come in and decided that now would be excellent. Congrats, Liam, you’ve now been awarded the title of Tony Stark’s Long-Term Boyfriend.”

“I hardly think one kiss is enough to portray long-term, especially when it is clear they never even thought you’d go after a man,” Loki scoffs. “Besides,” he adds on, dropping his voice to a purr, “I rather think you’ve been awarded the title of being _my_ boyfriend, considering that I am the one that gets to fuck you, darling.” For a moment his eyes flash Loki-green and Tony is suddenly acutely aware of the pressure in his pants. Oh yes, this is going to be fun. Their waitress, who just happened to hear that bit of their conversation, almost drops the tray of food she’s carrying to them. Tony notices a flash of green coming from Loki’s direction, and the waitress miraculously manages to steady the tray.

“Huh, I guess you’re right. I’m yours, babe. Be gentle with me.” The waitress hurriedly puts their food on the table, blushing heavily, before scurrying away. He said it as a joke, mostly to bother the waitress, but when he looks at Loki with a smirk, the god’s reaction shocks him. Loki’s eyes widen slightly, his Liam mask slipping for a second. He looks terrified, he looks sad, and a second later it disappears and Liam comes back to the surface. It was very minute, lasting only a second or two, such a short span of time that it seems insignificant, but Tony knows better. Something is seriously bothering Loki.

“As you wish,” the god replies haughtily, as if nothing happened.

Despite his concern, Tony has to laugh at Loki’s choice of words. “Remind me, the next time we get a chance I’m showing you _The Princess Bride._ It’s an epic movie.”

“So long as we finish Harry Potter first I am not opposed to the idea.”

“Awesome.” Silence descends on their table as Loki picks at his sashimi. He has yet to try it, and Tony is waiting excitedly. Loki, however, seems to be more interested in conversation than food today.

“What happened in the urgent meeting Rogers called you down for today?”

Tony sighs. “He wants us to start patrols. It’s been too quiet and it’s making him nervous.”

Loki nods his approval. “Very sensible.”

“He also wants us to start team training so we work together better, and he wants me to have combat training with the assassins so I’m not useless without the suit.” Tony stabs at his sashimi with his chopsticks, still not happy about the training sessions. He has a nagging feeling they were put into place especially because of him.

“Tony,” Loki says, and Tony looks up startled. His name in that voice… It affects him more than he cares to say. “You are not useless without the suit. Correct me if I’m wrong, but your team members all use your tech, do they not?” Tony nods, still unsure of how to react to Loki using his name. “Many of their weaponry advantages are due to you, and it is your funding that allows the team to exist, is it not?”

Tony doesn’t question how Loki knows all of this. He probably researched the team earlier. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not useless in a fight without my suit. Besides, I only got called in because it was an emergency. Otherwise, they didn’t want me personally.”

“Ah,” Loki holds up a finger. “That is quite the distinction from what you were saying earlier. Your fighting skills can be improved, I will not lie about that, but you are far from useless. It is not the suit that made you. Quite the opposite, actually.”

Tony stares at Loki, lips parted. His insides are a massive swirl of emotions, such that Tony can’t tell one feeling from the other. He recovers his outward appearance and takes a sip of his drink. “You’re being oddly nice today, Liam. Usually you wouldn’t want to boost my ego.” Tony doesn’t want to talk personal anymore.

Loki’s expression falls somewhat, as it does whenever Tony calls him ‘Liam’, the engineer notices with a start. “This is not about your ego. Anyways,” he says, finally popping his sashimi into his mouth. Whatever he was about to say is delayed as the oddest expression comes over the god’s face.

Tony grins. “Do you like it?”

Loki thinks about his answer. “Yes, actually. Can we order more?”

“Absolutely!” He waves their waitress over, who seems to have recovered somewhat, and asks for more sashimi, all kinds.

Loki studies him. “Why do you always look so delighted when I encounter food I like?”

Tony shrugs, instantly self-conscious, a feeling he is in no way used to. “Well, uh, you get this really happy expression on your face and I like, um, seeing it.”

“Oh.” It seems the god’s silver words have left him for once, and he looks down at his plate. Tony, for a moment, wonders how much of Liam is acting, and how much are Loki’s own feelings bleeding through, disguised as ‘acting’ like Tony’s kiss earlier. He’s concerned about what’s bothering the god. He’s being oddly open, Liam persona or not.

“Uh, you were saying something before?”

Loki nods, seeming to come back to himself. “Hmm, yes. I was wondering what you had planned for the rest of the day?”

Relief seeps through Tony. Finally, they’re in familiar territory. Sort of. “I dunno. I figured that since you’re the tourist you should decide. Though I hope we can do our usual dinner plans and watch a movie later on.”

Loki smiles. “Our usual sounds excellent. After this, though, I’d like to go shopping.”

“I thought you were happy wearing my clothes?”

“Cast offs are not at all appropriate for a god,” he says regally.

Tony snickers, turning back to his own food. “Sure, we’ll go shopping.”

Loki smiles. “Wonderful.” The rest of the meal passes in ease, with light conversation carrying them along. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, some good news: As far as my academics are concerned, I'm in the clear for updating! No more delays, hooray!


	10. This is the Beat of My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Chapter 10 is finished, and I have to say I never thought I'd get this far. Good news for you peeps, the end is near! Well, it's probably a few chapters away yet, but I'm close to writing it, I can feel it in the air. Thank you for everyone who's stuck with me this far, and thank you and welcome to new readers! Please enjoy!

News of Tony Stark and his new boyfriend must have spread, because there are now substantially more people waiting outside the restaurant, and the diners inside are all trying to sneak a glance at the couple.

Well, sneak isn’t really the right word. They’re all so obvious that it’s a little pathetic.

Loki keeps glancing at Stark throughout their meal, when the human isn’t looking, a little uncomfortable with all the attention so soon after his escape. Stark, however, looks completely unconcerned, so Loki calms down. It’s unlike him to be so worried, but with so many things pressing on his mind, the god decides a little caution is appropriate. He’s already slipped once, and Stark noticed. He’ll be watching now, concerned. It is the concern that keeps Loki unsure. Pity he has and can deal with, but concern? That is something he would like to avoid. He shouldn’t have reacted so to Stark’s teasing, but react he did. Loki never expected Stark to say that he belongs to the god, in jest or otherwise. Stark is giving, but to give _himself…_ Loki daren’t wish for that.

Instead of continuing to think of what he cannot want, Loki turns his attention to their upcoming shopping trip. Stark is excited, he knows, because Stark loves to throw his money around and because Stark particularly enjoys it when Loki is dressed well.

Lunch finished, they leave the restaurant and decide to walk. This is more Loki’s decision than Stark’s, because the god has been inside and inactive for too long. The people waiting outside the restaurant mob them as soon as they exit, and Loki nearly falters. He doesn’t like mobs. So many people being near him make him nervous. Somebody brushes against his shoulder and Loki flinches minutely before cursing under his breath. He cannot afford to keep showing weaknesses like this!

Stark reaches back and grabs his hand, grinning like a madman. Of course the idiot thrives in chaotic circumstances. He pulls Loki close, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and then starts off down the street, dragging the god along behind him. Eventually, the people leave them alone, and once they have some relative privacy, Stark turns to the god, concerned. Always the damn concern.

“Hey, Lo-lo, you looked kind of off back there. Should I call Happy?”

Loki sighs, the sound of the long suffering. “No, I am fine, though I am not fond of large crowds at present.” He tries to return the favor of being truthful where he can, and admitting this particular weakness doesn’t burn the way he thought it would. Strange.

Stark nods his understanding. “Yeah, I get what you mean. Luckily for us, all the expensive places are usually empty. It’s like you can’t be a luxury brand and still have a full store. It’s not cool.” Loki smirks in the face of Stark’s rambling. The human is practically bouncing down the street. “I get my own personal fashion show! Don’t forget to pose in your outfits, Lo-lo.”

“I thought my name was Liam?”

Tony makes a face. “It’s not your actual name.” He sounds so petulant about not being able to call the god by his proper name that Loki’s heart clenches. His new motto of truthfulness will not cover this.

Instead, Loki grins. “Unfortunately, Stark, that is my name right now.”

Stark looks disappointed, but his eyes narrow. “Alright then, Liam, but from here on out, my name is Tony, not Stark.”

Loki blinks. What an odd request. “As you wish, then, Tony.” Loki’s interest is caught when Stark’s eyes slide closed for a second too long. It is with shock that Loki realizes that the human enjoys the way the god says his name. It is with slight pain and an intensely beating heart that Loki decides to use this in any way he can.

Several hours and many shops later, Loki decides he’s finished for the day and has Stark call his driver. Stark is rapidly firing off questions; Loki shrunk their shopping bags and is now carrying them all in his pockets. If he had more power, he would’ve just teleported them to his room. Stark, however, is far more interested in the shrinking. He’s questioning Loki about the spell’s effects on the molecular level when the driver pulls up, effectively ending their conversation. The mortal can’t know who Loki is, and so the fun of speaking magic is temporarily over.

However, he _has_ gained the title of Stark’s boyfriend, so Loki decides to have fun another way. He drapes an arm over Tony and leans in to whisper in his ear. “Tony,” he purrs, making sure his voice caresses the name, and is rewarded with the human shuddering. “Your combat training, perhaps I can help.”

It takes a moment for Tony to respond, and his voice is rough when he answers. “How?”

Loki chuckles. “Would you like to spar with me?” Stark nods eagerly, prompting the god to laugh once more. It seems that the idiot will agree to anything if Loki uses that tone of voice. “Wonderful, we start tomorrow morning.”

Something resembling irritation finds its way into Stark’s eyes. “Oh no, you meant _actual_ sparring. I’m going to die, aren’t I? You’re going to kick my ass into the next dimension!”

“I will do no such thing. You already possess some measure of strength, physically, and so all I will have to do is show you how to direct it. It will be great fun, I assure you. Besides, I like your ass exactly where it is.”

Stark sighs. “Alright, sparring lessons in the morning.”

Loki smiles. “Try not to look so depressed. I’m going to show you the way _I_ fight. I’ve been assured by many that my style is dishonorable, completely inappropriate and possibly illegal in many realms.” He says the last bit with an enormous smirk.

Stark grins in return. “Sounds like my kind of thing.” Loki leans back in his seat, pleased. He’s missed sparring with someone.

Once back at the Avengers tower, the two hold hands as they walk, and Stark enthusiastically jumps into the elevator when it arrives. “Eager for me, are you?”

Stark hums. “Of course. I can’t wait for you to look like you again.” Loki’s lips part and he stares at the human in shock. Stark really needs to _stop doing that,_ or Loki fears his heart may cease beating all together.

“Despite my outward appearance, I am still myself,” Loki says slowly.

Stark nods. “Yeah, I totally get that. Still, call me greedy, but I prefer your natural look.” The words make Loki smile bitterly, and he doesn’t bother to hide the self-hatred he knows Stark can see in his eyes. “Lo?” He asks uncertainly, and the god makes an effort to pull on a mask. He does not wish to lie, but he refuses to tell the truth.

He settles, instead, on a half-truth, a mix of both options. “I must confess that I find my natural form to be displeasing.”

Stark’s eyes narrow, and he opens his mouth to argue, probably to call Loki on his lie, Loki realizes with chagrin, when he seems to think better of it, snapping his mouth shut. His eyes flash with something, Loki cannot name it, but the god feels something tug in his chest as if in answer. Quickly the moment passes, and Stark’s expression settles into one of determination. This expression bodes nothing good. Stark, it seems, wants to know what Loki is hiding. Until he asks specifically, however, no answers will come from the god. And, for the time being, he decides he has no wish to answer the questions Stark will surely ask. Eyes flashing green, Loki advances on the human, intent on thoroughly distracting him.

****

Tony suddenly finds himself pressed up against the wall with an armful of Norse god. He goes to protest, but his eyes meet Loki’s customary green ones, not the bluish-green ones he’s been wearing, and his protest dies on his lips. As long as he has the eyes, he’s good. Loki grins when Tony surrenders to him, and Tony can’t help but hum at the god’s obvious satisfaction. Loki’s up to something, Tony is certain. He doesn’t know why, and he definitely doesn’t know _how,_ but he had felt Loki’s reluctance, and he’d felt it when Loki lied. Tony blames magic—it is beyond awesome to be able to do that—deciding that it probably has something to do with that theory Loki had been talking about his first night at the tower. Tony knows Loki thinks he’s forgotten about it, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

His thoughts are interrupted here, because Loki realizes that the engineer isn’t properly distracted. He doubles his efforts, pressing their groins together and making the engineer moan. For the time being, he’s more than glad to let Loki do what he wants, especially since the outcome is so favorable to Tony. He looks into those ridiculously green eyes again, once Loki gives him a chance to breathe, and grins. They’re a bit too level with his own, though, and he misses Loki’s height. He’s still taller than Tony, but it’s not the same.  “How come you still look like Liam?”

Loki sighs. “Because we’re still on public floors.”

Tony snorts. “This is my private elevator, the public isn’t allowed on it.”

“It is not the general public to which I was referring,” Loki murmurs. He turns his attentions to Tony’s neck, kissing and biting along the length of it. “Perhaps when we reach our floor—”

Tony’s hands drift down to Loki’s ass, squeezing it and pulling Loki closer. “Our floor now, is it?”

The god chuckles. “Once we reach our floor,” he repeats, “I have very specific plans for you.” Tony stretches so he can nip at the god’s ear, and illusion or not, the spot still makes the god groan.

“I don’t want to wait,” he growls, loving Loki’s shudder.

“You are being careless, Stark.” Tony sneaks a hand down the front of Loki’s pants, taking hold of the god and making him gasp.

“I thought you were calling me Tony now.” Somehow, the god manages a grin, though Tony’s clever hands make him gasp again.

Suddenly, Loki freezes, going stiff against Tony in a ‘not good’ kind of way. Before Tony can ask any questions, the elevator doors slide open and in walks Tony’s current least favorite archer. Clint, for his part, doesn’t notice that the elevator already has occupants in it until the doors close again and he turns, eyes going wide. Tony meets his gaze with a raised eyebrow, one hand still groping Loki’s ass and the other arm suspiciously hidden from the assassin’s eyes.

“Well shit.”

“Hey there, bird brain,” Tony responds dryly. Loki presses closer to Tony, pressing his face into Tony’s neck. Tony thinks he’s gone back to his Liam persona and is kind of disappointed until he feels Loki’s face stretch into a grin accompanied with a momentary feeling of wicked intent that most certainly isn’t coming from him. His eyes flash down to Loki, and despite the minute warning, he still gasps in surprise when the god’s cool grip surrounds him. Clint rapidly looks terrified, a look Tony didn’t even see during the invasion. Loki does his best to make Tony forget Clint is in the elevator all together. Loki’s other hand snakes around to grip Tony’s ass, sliding it under the layers of fabric so skin meets skin. Tony groans when a slick finger presses against his entrance, slipping inside. A momentary thought of _how_ passes through Tony’s mind, until he remembers magic, which is fast becoming one of his favorite things. Magic lube. Who’d have thought? Needless to say, Clint escapes from the elevator as quickly as possible. Tony sort of notices and spares a laugh before Loki captures the entirety of his attention again.

They don’t end up making it to Tony’s bedroom. The minute they step out of the elevator Loki pushes Tony towards the couch, morphing back into his usual self as he walks. Tony finds the whole thing incredibly hot, and when he tells Loki this, the god looks stupefied for a second. He then snaps his fingers and Tony is suddenly naked. He’s got to say, he can’t complain. Well, except for the fact that Loki is still fully clothed. Tony reaches for him and growls in frustration when the god steps away. “How impatient,” Loki smirks. His eyes drag over Tony’s body. “Sit back, Stark, relax, and I will come to you.”

“Will you now?” Tony challenges, making the god grin.

“Touch yourself,” he commands, voice deep. The tone makes Tony shiver and the blatant arousal in Loki’s eyes makes him impossibly harder. Tony smirks, challenging and obedient in one, and sits down on the couch, stretching leisurely. Loki’s eyes follow his movements, but Tony does nothing more until Loki’s gaze meets his again. Eye locked with the god’s, Tony slowly slides his hand down to take hold of himself. Loki watches him hungrily, but makes no move toward Tony.

Well, if he wants a show, Tony will give him a show.

He leans back, teasing a nipple with his other hand. His smirk slips away as he lets out a moan, his eyes never leaving Loki. He knows he makes quite the picture, and satisfaction runs through him as Loki’s tongue darts out to wet his lips. He moans again, and the god begins to stalk forward, shedding his clothes as he goes. Tony particularly enjoys that show. He’s discovered that he really, _really_ likes seeing Loki naked. All that smooth pale skin… His hand works a bit faster, speeding up from the lazy stroking he’d been maintaining before, and then finally Loki reaches him. The god sits on the couch and tugs Tony over until the engineer is straddling him. Tony takes a moment to enjoy Loki’s erection brushing against his ass before Loki gets to work, licking and kissing and biting along Tony’s chest. Tony gasps and groans, reaching out to bury his fingers in Loki’s hair. Damn he loves that hair.

He doesn’t know if he said that out loud or not, but suddenly Loki has a gleam in his eye. Completely taken off guard, Tony shouts out as two slick fingers enter him as he’s simultaneously gripped in the god’s cool touch. He doesn’t know if he should grind down or thrust forward, so he settles for both. Loki is more than pleased, though his mouth never stops attacking Tony’s bare skin. Then the god’s fingers are gone, replaced with something much bigger. Tony moans as he sinks down onto Loki. Loki moans too, albeit much quieter than Tony, sounding almost reverential. And then, quickly, as if he hopes Tony won’t notice, Loki leans in and presses a soft kiss to the center of the arc reactor. Tony notices but calls no attention to it. He hoards the feelings the small action causes within himself. One day he’ll tell Loki about it.

In the meantime, though, Tony decides that Loki has been still for far too long. He leans down and nips at Loki’s ear. “Fuck me,” he whispers harshly, clenching around the god as he does so.

Loki grins around his next moan. “As you wish.” He pounds into Tony hard. Loki’s hands transfer to Tony’s hips where he grips the engineer hard enough to leave bruises. Despite the fact that Tony is on top, Loki is clearly in control, and Tony loves it. Loki is using he strength to keep Tony moving, lifting him up when Tony doesn’t rise fast enough, something he’s never done until now. Being the weaker one never seemed hot before, but now Tony can see the allure.

Throughout the whole thing, Tony does his best to keep his hands in Loki’s hair. He’s delighted to find that the harder he grips it the harder Loki fucks him. They play the game of control for a while, Loki letting Tony think he sets the pace and Tony eagerly taking all he was given, until Tony begins to feel the pressure building. He’s close to release, and Loki can tell. “Go on,” he breathes into Tony’s ear. “Spill you seed for me.” The words caress Tony’s ear like silk, and he groans, release building. Sensing that Tony’s holding back, Loki nips at his ear. “Let go,” he purrs. His entire chest rumbles with it, and it’s that purr that sends Tony over the edge. He comes without having been touched once, crying out into Loki’s shoulder. Loki lasts for a couple more thrusts before he comes as well, with a deep, growling groan.

Tony, collapsed tiredly against Loki, thinks that the sound alone is almost enough to make him hard again. Loki’s animalistic noises are a major turn on. Tony’s absolutely sure that they’re something unique to Loki, and he assumes it’s because the god is a shape shifter. His thoughts are interrupted by Loki sighing quietly beneath him. Tony looks at him questioningly. “As much as I’d like to fall asleep still buried within you, I think we should move to the bed. This couch is horribly uncomfortable.”

“You’re right, I hate this thing.” Despite agreeing, Tony makes no move to get up. The couch may be uncomfortable to sit on, but Loki isn’t.

Loki pokes him in the stomach. “Get up or I will carry you.”

“No you won’t.” Tony really doesn’t feel like moving. Loki, however, does not take ‘no’ for an answer. The engineer suddenly finds himself lifted up off of Loki, which wrings a groan out of him. Loki stands with Tony in his arms and starts walking towards the bedroom. “Hey! No! Put me down, dammit!”

Loki is laughing at him, Tony can feel it rumbling through his chest. “You have made your decision.” His voice is way too mirthful.

“This is undignified! Put me down, you fucker!” They’ve reached the bedroom, and Loki pauses in the doorway, eyeing the squirming Tony thoughtfully.

“I think your whining is much more undignified, but if you insist…”

Tony stops squirming and relaxes, thinking Loki’s going to put him down, until he sees the hint of mischief in Loki’s eyes. “Hey, what are you—” Loki tosses him across the room and Tony lands on the bed with an ‘oomph’. He may or may not have let out an un-manly shriek when Loki threw him, and so the god is currently doubled over in laughter. Tony glares at him from the bed. “You are such a fucker.”

Straightening up, Loki wipes tears from his eyes. “Yes, I do believe I am.” He’s still smiling, and Tony feels his anger slipping away. Loki smiles with his whole face and it’s nearly impossible not to smile back.

“Get over here, you little shit, before I change my mind and kick you back to your own bed.”

“A god does not come when he is called.”

“How about answering request?”

Loki sighs and slips under the covers next to Tony. “I do believe that is much the same thing.”

Tony shrugs and slides closer to Loki. “It’s the intent that matters, I think.” He shivers and throws an arm around Loki’s waist. “Damn, you’re cold.”

Loki stiffens and tries to move away. “My apologies.”

Tony only tightens his arm and moves closer. “Stop moving away, I never said I didn’t like it.”

Loki turns incredulous eyes on Tony. “You like it?”

“Yeah. It’s part of the reason I think you’re so comfortable.” He yawns, moving around until he’s half lying on top of Loki. “It’s the perfect temperature.”

“Truly?” Loki’s hand comes up to lazily stroke up and down Tony’s back. The movement seems to be a subconscious action, as if Loki can’t get enough of touching Tony. The engineer relaxes further, sleep starting to approach the edges of his mind.

“Don’t make me repeat it,” he mumbles sleepily. A thought crosses his mind. “We forgot to eat dinner.”

“We can eat when we wake up. Sleep first.” Half-asleep already, Tony nods and snuggles closer to Loki, tucking his face close to the god’s neck.

“Good idea, Lo.”

Loki continues stroking Tony’s back. “I do have those, sometimes.” Tony thinks he agrees, but he might not have. He falls asleep quickly, Loki’s hand still running up and down his back.

He is shocked when, instead of waking up later that night, he wakes up the next morning at a disgustingly respectable hour. He gets Jarvis to lighten the windows, letting sunlight stream in. A groan from beside him lets him know that Loki is still asleep. Tony turns a smile on the god. “Hey, Reindeer Games, rise and shine. I’m hungry and you’ve ruined me for eating alone.”

Loki groans again and buries his head in his pillow. “You don’t eat breakfast,” he mumbles. “You’re waking me up to keep you company while you drink too much coffee. Let me sleep.”

“Aww, c’mon, Lo.” Tony rolls over and starts kissing Loki’s neck. “If you get up and come with me I’ll actually eat breakfast.”

The god turns his head and cracks an eye open. “All my nagging and this is all it takes? You’re lying.”

“I am not. Whatever you want, I’ll eat it.”

Loki’s eyes narrow for a second, but then he sighs. “Fine. I am awake now anyways.”

Tony grins. “Awesome, let’s go.” He bounces out of bed, entirely too energetic, and Loki follows him with another sigh. Tony turns to tell him how rare it if for Tony to actually get a full night of sleep, but is distracted by Loki waving his hand and sending a wave of cool green magic washing over Tony. For a second, Tony wonders what the hell Loki did, until he notices his morning breath is gone and that he’s got an overall feeling of cleanliness. He looks at Loki, who is now pulling on his sweats. “Did you just shower me with magic?”

The god’s lips quirk up in a smile. “An odd choice of words, but yes, that is exactly what I did.” He walks into the closet and throws another pair of sweats at Tony. “Do you mind?”

“Not really.” He pulls on the pants. “Well, actually, I feel cheated of what would have probably been an awesome shower.”

Loki arches an eyebrow. “I thought you were hungry? Besides, we can shower after we spar.” He walks out of the room, leaving Tony to follow along behind him.

“You were serious about the whole sparring thing?”

“I can hardly leave you to the mercy of two assassins, now can I?”

“So you’re going to put me at the mercy of a god instead?” Tony grumbles as he goes to make their coffee.

“I don’t recall any opposition from you to being at my mercy last night.”

Tony sets their coffees on the bar and pulls himself onto a stool. “Touché.”

Loki saunters over and places an apple in front of Tony. “You promised to eat.” Tony makes a face but does as he’s told, making sure to make a show out of licking the juice off of his fingers. Loki watches him, amused and satisfied all the same, until Tony finishes his apple.

“Happy?”

Loki smirks. “Monumentally.” His voice is dry, but his eyes are shining.

“Sir, it may interest you to know that Captain Rogers has used his emergency override codes and is presently on his way up.” The first thing Tony does is glance at Loki, who’s already assumed his Liam façade and is calmly eating his breakfast. Following Loki’s example, Tony calms down as well. He strikes up a conversation about Harry Potter, and by the time the elevator dings they’re debating the potential of Draco Malfoy’s character. Steve clears his throat and Tony leans around Loki to look at him.

“Morning, Cap. Is there an actual emergency or did you just miss my sexy ass?” Belatedly, Tony sees the newspaper clutched in Steve’s hand. It’s a gossip rag, and as Tony predicted, he and Loki are kissing on the front cover.

“How strange,” Loki murmurs when Steve doesn’t say anything, “I thought your ass belonged to me.”

Tony has to suppress a laugh at the scandalized look that crosses Steve’s face. “It does, babe, don’t you worry.” He then stands up and pads over to talk to Steve. The super-soldier’s eyes flit down to Tony’s hips and narrow. Tony looks down, trying to see what’s making Steve so angry, and grins. There are bruise marks in the shapes of Loki’s fingers pressed into his skin. He’d hoped that would bruise. “Hey, Steve, is there an actual emergency or not?”

“Oh, no emergency. I’ve finalized the schedule and I just thought I’d deliver it in person and try to wake you up. Training starts at 10:30, but obviously you’re already awake.”

Tony shrugs. “Yeah, I went to bed way earlier than usual, so I’m up.” Noticing that Steve’s glaring at the bruises again, Tony poses so he’s showing them off to his friend. “Like may badges? He’s got a strong grip, though I probably shouldn’t have kept telling him to hold me tighter.”

Steve turns an intense shade of red, but he doesn’t look away. “You asked for those?”

“Yes, so stop worrying about them. I want them there.”

Still red, Steve nods, though some relief comes into his features. Remembering the newspaper in his hand, Steve flashes Tony a hurt expression. “How come the media got to meet him before we did? And you said you weren’t in a relationship.”

“The media didn’t meet him, they took a photo of him, and I didn’t know I was in a serious relationship until after I talked to you guys.”

Steve gives him a look. “Tasha made you figure it out, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, how’d you guess?”

“She looked way too excited when she followed you out of the meeting.”

Tony blinks. Natasha hadn’t looked all that excited to him. Steve must be really good at reading people. “I’m impressed, Rogers. You notice quite a bit.”

Steve shrugs and then looks around Tony at Loki, who is watching their exchange with interest. “So, are you going to introduce me to your, ah, boyfriend?”

Tony grins. This should be good. “Yeah, sure. Oh, and Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t use the emergency override unless it’s an actual emergency. You’re my best friend, and I love hanging out with you, but we don’t exactly confine our activities to the bedroom.”

Steve’s blush returns full-force. “Understood.” He looks mortified, and Tony wonders what sort of expression he’d have if he actually walked in on something. Then the mortification clears somewhat and Steve looks at Tony in shock. “I’m your best friend?”

“Yes. You didn’t know? What, did you expect a memo or something? I don’t give access and emergency override codes to everyone, Rogers.”

“Huh. I’m flattered. I thought those were just for emergencies.”

“Yeah, right, ‘emergencies’. I have Jarvis for emergencies.”

Steve shoves him. “Shut up, you ass. You’re my best friend too. Now introduce me to your boyfriend, we’ve got stuff to do.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on,” Tony mutters, walking past him to join Loki at the bar. Partially because he wants to, and partially because he wants to embarrass Steve, Tony reaches out and gently cups Loki’s face, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. The god kisses him back just as sweetly, and when they pull apart they’re both smiling. Loki’s eyes flicker back to their usual green for a second, and Tony smiles wider. He turns back to Steve, holding Loki’s hand. “Liam, this is a good friend of mine, Captain Steve Rogers. Steve, this is my boyfriend, Liam.”

Loki reaches out to shake hands with Steve. “A pleasure to meet you, Captain.”

“Call me Steve. No last name, Liam?”

Loki smiles. “Oh, I do have one, but I think the whole name is a bit much for Tony to handle. Brannen, Liam Brannen. I believe it means fire.”

Steve allows a small smile. “That’s quite the last name, I can see why Tony doesn’t remember it.”

Loki laughs, and Tony is pleased to note that it’s his genuine laugh, not Liam’s. “You know, he almost got my name wrong when he was introducing me to his driver.” Steve laughs. “It’s an ostentatious name, to be sure. Family legend is that I had a many times great grandfather who couldn’t get enough of the stuff and accidently burned down a village.”

Steve looks impressed. “Really? That’s definitely a story to pass down.”

Loki smiles. “It’s just a legend, and I’ve personally never put much stock in legends.”

“Really?” Tony interrupts, intrigued.

“Oh yes. Many of them, you’ll find, are not true.”

Tony looks skeptical. “You wouldn’t say that they’re based on truth?”

Loki grins. “Some, perhaps, but not all.”

Steve clears his throat. “So, it was nice to meet you, Liam, but Tony has to come down for a team workout now.”

“Now?” Tony grumbles, smile falling off his face. He hasn’t even had a chance to work with Loki yet.

Loki reaches out and pokes Tony in the side. “Don’t whine, it’s unbecoming.”

“I was not whining!”

“You were. Now go with your friend or I will drag you down myself.”

“Fine, asshole.” Tony stomps away to his room, grumbling all the while.

Steve turns amazed eyes on Loki, who’s laughing. “How did you do that? I thought I’d be up here for ages!”

Loki smiles. “He knows I’m teasing. Tony likes to let me think I can order him around.”

Steve grins. “You sent him down yesterday morning, didn’t you?”

“Guilty as charged.”

“You’re alright, Liam. Between you and the rest of us, we’ll be able to whip Tony into shape.”

“I must confess, I rather like Tony’s current shape, but I’ll help where I can.” Steve looks at Loki carefully, measuring. Finally, he smiles again, and this time it’s much more sincere. Tony then stalks out of his room, pulling an old t-shirt over his head.

He stops when he sees Steve leaning against the bar next to Loki. “Why do I feel like you two are conspiring against me?”

Loki stands up and herds Tony and Steve towards the elevator. “Darling, I would do nothing of the sort.”

“Yes you would!”

“Now, time is running short, you’ll be late. Don’t tire him out too much, Captain, I have plans for Tony later.”

The elevator doors slide closed, and Steve turns to Tony, who’s grinning like an idiot. “Is he always like that?”

“He does what he wants, I am powerless to stop him.” Tony tries to make it sound like a complaint, but Steve sees right through him.

“As if you would, you love it.”

“Yeah, I do,” Tony agrees softly. “Now, tell me about this training stuff. What are we doing?”


	11. Imperfect Imposters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies! Chapter 11 is now complete, huzzah! I'm freaking out, because the time has come for me to start writing out the ending, and I've really only written two before, so wish me luck! 
> 
> Now, without further ado, please enjoy this week's update!

Training ends up being more intense than Tony thought it would be. Except for the unavoidable chatter at the beginning, where Steve tells everyone he met Liam and Clint makes retching noises, the only words in the gym are from Natasha and Clint telling Tony what to do. They begin, Tony is dismayed to find, by teaching him the proper way to fall. Apparently it’s important to know that before he can actually learn how to fight. Tony is also dismayed to find that he can’t just fall down and get on with it.

Now, Tony is no weak kitten. It is necessary to have a certain degree of strength for the work he does in his lab or to fire repulsors without the suit to absorb kickback. He works out. He just can’t fight, apparently, and Clint doesn’t hold back in telling him so. Tony thinks he’s being unreasonably critical, but Natasha assures him he isn’t.

Tony is pretty determined, though, so by the end of that day’s training, Natasha announces that Tony’s made some progress. Feeling like one giant bruise, Tony escapes as soon as he can, back to his floor and back to Loki. Steve tries to catch him on his way out, but a glare turned into a grimace lets the captain know that Tony is in no mood for socializing. Obviously, Loki doesn’t count.

The god sees him walk in and immediately starts laughing at Tony’s pained expression. “Kicked the shit out of you, did they?”

Tony grimaces. “Not exactly. I was learning how to fall. Nobody’s touched me yet.”

Loki looks him over. “Hmm… A nice shower and some lunch, and then we can start my lessons.”

Tony groans. “Don’t you think I’ve been abused enough today? Let’s just watch a movie,” he suggests hopefully, knowing full well what Loki will say but hoping anyways.

“Not a chance.”

“Fine,” he sighs, defeat slumping his shoulders. That is, until an idea pops into his head. “But you’ve got to come into the shower with me.”

“So demanding,” Loki tsks, seeming to disagree but following Tony to the shower all the same.

Afterwards, sitting at the bar and stretching every so often, Tony eyes Loki over his sandwich. “How in the world did you do that?”

Loki smirks. “To what action are you referring?”

“The healing thing. Everywhere you touched stopped hurting, but I didn’t see any magic like I did this morning.”

“This morning I added visual aspects so as not to startle you. This afternoon I didn’t bother.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

The god smiles, standing up and brushing off his pants. “I couldn’t possibly hope to teach you anything if you were still battered up when we started. Now, get up and show me what you learned this morning.” Sighing, Tony moves to the center of the open space they’d prepared and tumbles to the ground. Loki watches carefully. “You are throwing your weight in the wrong place. Try adjusting more towards your left hip.”

“I’m trying to avoid falling on my hip. Tasha said not to.”

“And that is what you’re doing wrong. You’re overcompensating. Watch.” Loki steps forward and falls, slapping ground as he does so. Tony flinches because the motion and the sound makes it look much more serious than it is, but he can see Loki is right. The god threw his weight towards his left hip, and so he was able to roll right out of the fall and settle into what Natasha would call a ‘ready position’.

“I haven’t learned that roll-thing yet. Why do I need to learn how to fall anyways?”

“Romanov didn’t explain it to you?”

“No.”

“Hmm…” Loki gives Tony a calculating look. “Should somebody decide to throw you,” he steps forward lightning-fast and sends Tony flying through the air, “you must _remember to fall properly_ so you are not injured.” Almost at the last minute, Tony twists in the air, trying to copy what Loki showed him. He doesn’t quite manage the rolling back to his feet bit, but except for a couple new bruises he’s mostly okay.

“What the fuck was that?! A warning next time would be great!”

Loki’s eyes glitter dangerously; Tony is back on his feet in an instant. “A warning? Tell me, Stark, what enemy will give you a warning?” He stalks forward, looking every inch a predator. Hoping this has something to do with training, Tony sinks into what he hopes is a ‘ready’ stance. All he’s really learned how to do is avoid things, so when Loki lunges at him Tony rolls to the side and gets back on his feet. Looking pleased, which is an odd mix with his threatening demeanor, Loki lunges again, and again Tony avoids him.

Again and again Loki tries to grab him, and again and again Tony avoids him. Tony is starting to wonder about the ease in which he’s avoiding Loki until he realizes that the god is beginning to go faster. A couple more rounds is all it takes, and then Loki slams into Tony and tackles him to the ground. He pins Tony’s hands above his head and straddles the panting engineer. “Hmm, we’ll have to work on your endurance, but overall you did well. You have good instinct.” Loki leans down and kisses Tony, nudging his head to the side so he can kiss along Tony’s neck.

“Mmm… I thought you were showing me how to fight.” He can feel Loki smile against his neck.

“I am. Consider this a reward.” And suddenly he’s up, pulling Tony to his feet. “Now, why don’t we work on striking?”

It’s grueling work. Loki makes Tony work twice as hard as Natasha did. Then again, Natasha probably thought asking him to do anything more would be pointless. Tony has to admit that she was probably right. Loki, on the other hand, pushes relentlessly. Whenever Tony gets close to giving up, he mocks him, smiling all the while. Naturally, this makes Tony very angry, he works harder and more determinedly if only just to wipe the infuriating grin off of Loki's face,  and so, naturally, once he manages to do what Loki wants him to, his reward is all the sweeter.

Despite the effort, by the time they stop for dinner, Tony can say that he’s actually improved, but he has his suspicions as to why. Throughout his lesson, he swears he could feel Loki in his mind, and when he asks Loki about it, the god at least has the good grace to look sheepish.

“I have been impressing the moves you learn in your mind, so they become instinct. I can undo that, if you wish.”

“You’ve been messing around in my head?” Loki flinches. The words sound more angry and accusatory than Tony intended, but there’s not many ways to ask that sort of question and not sound mad. “Lo, I trust you, but you’ve got to ask before you do something like that.”

“My apologies, I will reverse it.”

“No, you don’t have to. I can see the advantages to what you did, and I didn’t exactly mind having you in my head. Just ask next time.”

Relief is evident in Loki’s face. “Again, I apologize. You are right, I should have asked.” Then he frowns. “Most humans abhor the thought and feeling of another being in their mind,” he says thoughtfully.

“So why’d you go in my head?”

“I had been laboring under the misapprehension that you would be unaware of my presence. Most beings do not notice.”

“Uh, nope. Felt you each time. But like I said, I didn’t mind. You’re comfortable. Though it is weird to think of my brain as a place rather than a thing…” An unwelcome idea pops up in Tony’s head. “Uh, you said most people don’t notice. You haven’t been messing around in my friends’ heads, have you?”

Most people would be offended by the question, but because it’s Loki, the god only smiles. “I have not. I prefer to avoid that, actually.”

“So why do it on me?”

“It takes months and years of training to be able to fight properly. The movements need to be ingrained in your very bones, so they become as natural as breathing. You do not have that time, your skills are needed now. Even with my help, you’ll never be as good as Barton or Romanov, but you will be able to hold your own.”

Tony stares at Loki for a second, but then a huge smile spreads across his face. “You don’t want me to get hurt.” Loki attempts to scoff, but Tony grabs his arms and pulls him into a kiss. “I’ll stay safe for you.” Tony doesn’t know where the words come from, but they felt right so he said them. He is rewarded when Loki’s eyes shine with warmth for a split second before his usual expression slips back into place.

“See that you do. Now, go shower. You smell.” Chuckling, Tony complies, and when he comes out dinner has arrived. They eat in front of the next Harry Potter movie and head for bed, both unanimously heading to Tony’s room, where sleep does occur at some point.

Though Loki insists on Tony training with him daily, Tony’s team sessions are bi-weekly. Thanks to Loki, by the time Tony had to train with the assassin duo again he easily keeps up. Both assassins have their suspicions but decide they won’t ask any questions. Nobody is upset about the fact that Tony is beginning to be able to defend himself.

Coupled with his patrols, also bi-weekly, and working in his lab, Tony is extremely busy. Loki, armed with his Liam visage and one of Tony’s credit cards, takes to exploring the city, alone or with Tony, to keep his boredom at bay. Though he enjoys sitting with Tony while he works, Loki is tired of being cooped up inside, and Tony agrees that he should go out whenever he wants. He seems to be determined to find and buy out every single bookstore New York has to offer, and soon all the shelves that Pepper had filled with decorative shit are covered with books of every genre. Tony doesn’t really mind, more than one book has found its way onto his bedside table, but as usual, he can’t resist teasing Loki about it.

“You know,” Tony begins one night over dinner, “you can get most of these books online.”

“I prefer paper copies.”

Tony snorts. “What’s the difference? The words are the same.”

Loki sighs. “You truly are an idiot, Stark.” He picks at the food in front of him, and Tony snickers.

“No I’m not, I’m a genius. Haven’t you been paying attention?” Loki rolls his eyes, not even bothering to look up. He doesn’t see the mischief in Tony’s eyes—and hey, isn’t that something?—and is completely taken off guard when Tony kisses him. His surprise doesn’t last for long, however, and so Loki deepens the kiss, food forgotten, and proceeds to take Tony on the couch.

A couple of weeks pass like this, and one morning, thankfully on a day when he isn’t scheduled for team practice, Tony suddenly remembers his magic sensor project. He rolls over and pokes Loki in the side. “Hey, I finished the prototype of my magic scanner a while ago. You feel up to testing it today?”

Loki, who has his head buried in his pillow, shifts slightly to he can crack an eye open. “What will these tests require?”

Tony shrugs. “Just some stuff. Whatever you’re willing to do. I don’t have anything to compare my results to, so I don’t really know what I’m looking for.”

Rolling onto his back, Loki cracks a smile at Tony. “So you want a bit of everything, hm?”

Tony laughs and sits up, moving so he’s straddling Loki. “Whatever you’re willing to give, I’ll take.” He bends over to kiss Loki, moving down to bite at his neck and rocking his hips for good measure.

Loki groans, arching up into Tony’s touch. “I do believe you are trying to manipulate me.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s impossible.”

Loki flips them so Tony is on his back. “Unfortunately I am not as untouchable as you think.” His voice is sad, as it is wont to do every now and then. Tony’s learned not to ask after a fight and an anger-fueled shopping spree that resulted in the two sleeping in different beds and more books than the shelves could hold. Tony knows it could’ve ended much worse. Too stubborn to go after Loki, the minute the god stormed out of the tower Tony began pacing restlessly and didn’t settle until he heard Loki return later that night. Then his lab had taken the brunt of his frustrations; an uneasy truce had been struck the next morning. So this time, he doesn’t ask. Instead, he does his best to distract Loki from whatever he’s thinking.

“Nobody’s untouchable, Lo, but I have a feeling that you’re more resilient than regular people. Come on, let’s go do science!”

He’s still trapped underneath Loki, and the god gives his a wry smile. “Here I am, clearly aroused, and all you can think about is science? I must not be as attractive as I thought I was.”

Loki’s obviously teasing, and so Tony grins at him. “We don’t have to do science right now.”

“Oh? And what has managed to distract you from your noble art?”

“Well,” Tony pauses to press his hips up against Loki, “I was thinking you could fuck me within an inch of my life and _then_ we can go do science.”

“A sensible plan,” Loki smirks. For a second, he does nothing, and then he’s pinning Tony’s arms above his head with one hand and throwing the blankets off with the other. They’re both already naked, and that speeds things along considerably. There’s a grin on Loki’s face, and Tony watches curiously as the god waves a hand in the air and conjures a length of green rope that he uses to tie Tony’s wrists to the headboard. By the time he’s finished, Tony’s grin matches his own.

“You kinky bastard.” Loki chuckles, not even bothering to answer. He starts to kiss and lick all along Tony’s body, ignoring the one place Tony really wants to be touched, and making the engineer writhe. Finally, once he decides he’s tortured Tony enough, he takes hold of Tony and starts stroking him lazily. Tony moans, finally getting the contact he wants, and thrusts up into Loki’s fist. The god allows this a couple times before he lets go of Tony and sits back, his hand moving down to grip himself. Tony makes a noise at the loss of contact, a noise that makes Loki growl in response.

“Tony,” he purrs, and the engineer’s eyes flick over to meet his. “Spread yourself. Show me what I’m going to fuck.” Tony almost comes from the sound of Loki’s voice alone. It’s deeper, rougher, and the gravelly tones make him sound like every word is a purr or a growl. He sounds dangerous like this, and it’s the sexiest thing Tony has ever heard. Eagerly, he does what Loki asks, bending his knees towards his chest. The god’s cool touch is on him in an instant. Loki’s hands stroke down his thighs and knead at his ass for a bit until he slips a slick finger inside Tony. Loki watches his fingers appear and disappear as he stretches him, and Tony thinks he might explode from the force of Loki’s gaze. He won’t be lasting long this time, he’s sure of it.

Finally, he’s ready. Loki barely pauses before he slams into Tony, making the engineer cry out. He hooks Tony’s legs over his shoulders and nearly bends him in half as he fucks him into the mattress. He’s rough this morning, and Tony relishes in it. Loki sets a driving pace, after all, Tony does have science to do, and he gets Tony off in record time.

Laughing at Tony’s utterly wrecked expression, Loki continues to take his pleasure until Tony’s brain comes back on track enough for him to think of some sort of revenge. He pushes the god over the edge, collecting a new bruise of the side of his neck in the process as Loki bites down on him in an effort to smother his groan.

Afterwards, a quick shower and a pit stop in their ‘kitchen’ is all Tony will allow, his excitement to be in the lab is nearly palpable. Stepping inside the elevator, Loki quickly shifts into Liam; Tony tries not to pout. He likes Loki’s looks so much better. “You can drop the Liam look once we’re in the lab. Nobody will come down today, and I want to take a reading of your in your natural state before I do anything else.”

Something flickers in Loki’s eyes, but he nods agreeably. “How can you guarantee that no one will come down?”

“I had Jarvis put out a warning that I’m working with volatile material and shouldn’t be interrupted.”

“Sensible. You’ve done this before?”

“Yeah, it’s been standard practice ever since Clint came down while I was experimenting with my repulsors. Needless to say, there was an explosion and some hospital time for the both of us. Steve thought sending out an advance warning would be best.”

“I am inclined to agree with the captain.”

“You sound like Spock.”

Loki looks at him, confused. “Who is Spock?”

“Add _Star Trek_ to our ‘must watch’ list.”

“I fear we will need years to watch everything you deem necessary.”

Tony grins. “I’m not complaining.” He saunters out of the elevator into the lab, leaving a nonplused Loki to follow in his wake. “Jarvis, tunes.” Speakers flare to life, blasting Black Sabbath. Grinning, Tony turns to face Loki, who looks less than pleased.

“Must we listen to this trash?” The music is loud enough that Loki has to raise his voice to be heard, but not so loud that he has to yell.

“Hey, it’s not trash it’s classic.”

“Somehow I doubt that claim.”

“Doesn’t matter, my lab my rules.”

Loki glares at him. “I could kill you sometimes, Stark.”

A massive shit-eating grin spreads across Tony’s face. “But you haven’t,” he sings, bouncing over to his scanners.

“The day is young yet,” Loki assures him. Snickering, Tony turns his attention back to his machines. He starts by tweaking some scanners, aiming them all at a cleared space he’d created a while ago. Scanning the area, Tony creates a sort of neutral zone, and once the machinery knows to ignore any of the readings already present, he ushers Loki into the space. Taking a hand held scanner, Tony begins to pass the machinery over Loki, eyebrows flying up at the readings that start playing out on a screen near his head.

“Jarvis, compile a full body image alongside the readings.”

“Rendering immediately, sir.” Tony flicks his hand and sends the images to project in a hologram so Loki can see them too. The first thing he points to is the graph showing the raw readings.

“I’m just making a guess, but I’m assuming that this thicker bit here is your magic at rest. It looks pretty constant, except for this.” He traces a finger along a line that spikes regularly, far above the constant but still clearly part of it. “Either my equipment’s malfunctioning or you’re doing magic.”

“I am at rest.”

It isn’t a denial, and Tony frowns. “Pull up Liam. Maybe that’ll change something.” He presses a couple of buttons, and suddenly the readings are live, writing about on the screen. Carefully, Tony watches what he’s now thinking of as the ‘anomaly line', and sees a slight spike when Loki transforms into Liam, but it otherwise remains the same. “Can you drop Liam?” Loki does, and the small spike happens again. He’d thought the spike was Loki drawing on his power, but maybe he’s wrong. The readings so far are making Tony second-guess many of the theories he’s been toying with. “Can you do something else? Not shape shifting.” Loki holds up his hand and it bursts into green flame. Tony watches in fascination as another line jumps up from the constant, the initial spike falling to a more uniform level as Loki maintains the spell. Satisfied that the readings are staying stable, he turns his gaze back to Loki. “How is your hand not burning?”

Loki shrugs. “The spell does not allow it to. Besides, among other things, fire falls under my jurisdiction.”

“That’s hot,” Tony jokes. Loki just rolls his eyes. “Alright, alright, lame, I know.” Turning his attention back to his graphs, Tony asks Loki to end the spell. He does so, and the line falls back to join the constant. This is what Tony was originally expecting, which intrigues him. Thinking that shape shifting must act differently than other spells, he decides that another kind of spell might help narrow the field. Tony gestures around the room and asks Loki to choose something to blow up. Loki happily does so, crazed grin lighting up his face as green flames arch from his palm, blowing a work bench to ash. Tony recognizes it as one of the ones that had fallen to his own anger after that board meeting all those weeks ago. Glad that Loki kept his destruction to already damaged furniture, Tony looks at the readings.

A recording of the blast leaving Loki plays on a loop while a graph beside it shows a large spike in energy, corresponding to the recording, but no maintenance line. It seems that attack spells like this work similar to laser pulse weaponry, with energy pouring into the main discharge but nothing after that. Tony has to say he’s fascinated. “Jarvis, can you bring up the sensor image recordings and play them on holo?”

“Certainly, sir. The image construction will take a moment.” Tony waves his hand in a ‘do what you must’ kind of gesture as Loki regards him curiously.

“Image readings? Are those not images?” Loki asks, pointing to the various graphs around him.

“They’re definitely visuals, but I’ve also recorded footage that works kind of like a heat detector. You’ve seen those before, right?”

Loki nods. “Yes, Barton insisted on having those added to the regular security cameras we had set up. I found the concept fascinating, but I was not able to linger long.”

“Okay good, so you know roughly what to expect. I’ve tweaked these so they pick up magical signals rather than heat.” He pauses, looking as if his entire train of thought was derailed. “Did you say Clint insisted? As in _argued_ with you? I thought he was under your control?”

“Only enough for him to forget his ties and become loyal to me. I’ve no use for puppets, and as I said before, I prefer to avoid entering people’s minds. The deeper you push, the more chance there is to leave a piece of oneself behind, and a chance of gaining a piece of another. There are only so many times it can be endured, and god or not, it is agonizing.”

“But you had tons of people under your control. Why risk it so many times? And how did you get out of it intact?”

“I had little choice in the matter,” Loki spits, hatred laced in his voice. Tony flinches back, hurt and confused, until he realizes that Loki’s hatred isn’t directed at him. Tentatively, he steps towards Loki and lays a hand on his arm. The touch seems to calm the god, and Loki turns his eyes on Tony, who realizes that Loki did not get out of it intact. Not one bit.

“Why did you risk it with me?”

“You are the exception to the rule. Cease your worrying, no pain comes from touching your mind.” Loki watches Tony carefully, probably looking for a reaction to his words.

Tony cracks a small smile. “I’m glad.” His smile fades a bit. “As to everything else, it’s done now, and there’s nothing either of us can do to change it. All we can do is move past it.” There is a quiet moment where they stare each other down, until finally Loki nods, closing his eyes. When he opens them, they are clearer.

“You are right, Tony. Now, show me this footage. The concept intrigues me.”

Tony grins. “Alright, but I’ve got no clue what the colors are supposed to mean from a magical standpoint. We’re going to have to guess.”

“You look positively delighted by the idea,” Loki comments dryly.

“Hey, the unknown is great! Jarvis, play the footage!” A life-sized hologram of Loki materializes in the sensor circle. It looks nothing like the actual Loki, of course, and only its height and Tony’s prior knowledge allow him to identify it as the god. Otherwise, it appears to be a bald vaguely humanoid shape, and is a deep, iridescent blue. Some parts are darker than others, namely its head, hands, and an area that Tony can only classify as the heart. That part is the deepest blue of all. There are also flecks of red in its head that Tony has no clue what to make of, but they are vibrant and strong. Other parts, like the tips of its feet, are much lighter, nearly a powdery blue.  “It’s just a guess, but I’m thinking that your toes aren’t all that magical.”

Loki makes a noise that would be classified as a snort in any less dignified being, but there’s a tightness to his eyes that undermines his amusement. The recording goes on to raise its arm, which does darker for a moment as the blue deepens and shifts towards its palm before shimmering strangely and turning green. To Tony, it looks similar to a power conversion. Flames erupt from its palm—a more crystalline, emerald green than the actual version of the spell—and shoot forward, leaving a light green after-image in their wake. The after-image fades after a while; Tony assumes it has something to do with the heat dissipating from the air.

The room is silent, Tony thinking about the mechanics behind magically created heat. It takes a while for him to notice that Loki is staring at the spot where the hologram had stood, studiously avoiding Tony’s gaze. Something’s off. Loki’s odd posture is enough to confirm that. His shoulders are hunched in on himself, nowhere near his usually regal stance, and it’s enough to distract Tony from science completely.  Tony is willing to bet Jarvis’ mainframe core that Loki’s change in demeanor is directly related to the scan result.

“Jarvis, take a full body can of me.”

“Rendering, sir.” The couple minutes it takes for Jarvis to complete and project the scan is swathed in a heavy silence. Tony, for some irrational reason, feels tension pouring off of Loki in waved. Irrational because he feels it in his mind, whereas Loki outwardly looks very calm.  An  image comes into being next to Tony, completely different than Loki’s had looked like. Tony’s scan is mostly an unremarkable grey except for a small amount of red in his hands and the blue glowing sun of the arc reactor in his chest. Interestingly, where he assumes his mind is there are specs of red, green, and blue, the last two colors exactly the same as Loki’s had been. Tony has a feeling that this is extremely significant, but something crucial comes to his attention. It’s easy enough to guess what the grey color means.

“Lo, your entire scan was made of magic.” Loki flinches. “You said Æsir influence their magic because there’s more body than magic.”

“They do.” A pause. “I believe Thor mentioned that I am adopted?”

Tony is confused. “Yeah, but—” He cuts himself off, expression clearing. “Frost giant or fire demon?”


	12. If You Love Me Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, and welcome to the twelfth part of This is Gospel! Things are coming along nicely, so expect an ending probably in the next couple of weeks or so. I've already written part of it, and may I say, it is getting increasingly difficult not to do evil things with the ending. BUT, I love you guys, so I won't make you suffer too much :D

For a second, Loki just looks trapped, desperate, and terrified. Then his face hardens, and instead of answering, he stands straighter as blue begins to spread over his skin like ink spilled on a tablecloth. Tony watches in shocked silence as the green eyes he’s become so fond of turn blood red. Almost immediately, the temperature in the room drops. Little bits of ice begin to form on Loki’s fingers, but the god flicks them away absently. The ice chips don’t melt when they hit the floor. Unhelpfully, the graph projected next to Loki shows the anomaly line drop down into the constant. Belatedly, Tony realizes that his mouth is hanging open. He hurries to close it.

“You were wearing an illusion?”

Loki shakes his head. “An illusion would not hide this, would not block the cold. I merely shift myself into the skin you are most familiar with.” Loki’s voice is deep, deeper than it’s ever gone, and gravelly. He sounds like he’s on the edge of growling with every word, and Tony shivers, mouth going dry. So this is where Loki’s more animalistic sounds come from. Noticing Tony’s shiver, Loki steps back. His gaze drops to the floor and stays there. “Thank you for your hospitality, Stark, but it is far past time for me to leave.”

“Leave?” Tony echoes incredulously. “No way, you’re not going anywhere.”

Loki glares at him. “Do you intend to stop me, Stark? Put me in a cage? We all know how well that worked before. Let me go.”

Tony crosses his arms, the very picture of defiance. “Uh, yeah, no.”

Loki’s eyes flicker. Tony notes that despite their change in color, they are still most definitely Loki’s eyes. “I assure you,” Loki persists, anger growing with each word, “attempting to put me in a cage will be as effective as the last time.” Tony remains silent. He tries to keep eye contact, but he can’t help but flick his eyes over Loki’s frame. Blue skin is twice as distracting as alabaster skin. “I refuse to be a monster put on display for you to mock.”

Tony blinks. Once the words register, he frowns. “Stop being an idiot, I would never do that! And nobody said anything about monsters.”

“You dare insult my intelligence?” His voice is dangerous and his eye glitter menacingly. Tony winces. It’s too late to change his words now, but he really should’ve thought of something more tactful to say. Loki, Tony realizes, hates this version of himself.

For the first time since Loki showed up in his lab, Tony feels a sliver of fear. “Yes, I do.” Too late to back down now. Too much to lose if he backs down now. “You’re being stupid and you’re not going anywhere. In fact, Jarvis, initiate complete lab lockdown.”

“Security protocols are activated and the lab is secured, sir.”

“You know that won’t stop me,” Loki growls. Tony only raises his chin, daring Loki to try anything. The god makes a frustrated sound. “Your idiotic pride is going to get you killed! I feel your fear, Stark! You cannot hide it from me.”

“No shit, asshole!” Tony pauses and takes a deep breath. “You need to calm down, Lo. I can feel _your_ anger and it’s not exactly reassuring.”

“Why seek reassurances from a monster? What will my being calm help?” Loki yells, and it’s a testament to how angry he really is. He doesn’t deny that he’s quickly falling into a rage, and his control is quickly falling into tatters.

“You are not a monster, stop saying that! Where the fuck did you even come up with that? Calm down and we can talk about this, Lo!” You know things have really gone to shit when Tony is insisting that they should talk it out. Tony is not unaware of this fact.

Loki laughs. It’s harsh, filled with pain, and has no trace of humor. Tony instantly hates the sound. “Talk, Stark? About what? How I should assume my usual form and we can forget this ever happened? Pretend that I am not the monster people tell their children about at night?” His voice is filled with self-loathing, and Tony hates it. He hates it so much.

“Stop it. Stop talking like that.”

“I am merely brining the truth to light. You have been harboring a monster, and now you are aware. _Now_ _let me go!”_

This, Tony decides, is enough. “WILL YOU SHUT UP? YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!” He bellows, rage pouring off him in waves. Loki blinks, taking an involuntary step back. Tony never yells, and this has far surpassed that. Angrily, Tony stalks forward and grabs Loki’s face, pulling the shocked god into a violent kiss. At first, Loki does nothing, seeming to turn to stone. However, he doesn’t pull away and Tony takes that as a good sign. He battles his way into Loki’s mouth, pleased to note that Loki tastes the same, except clearer somehow.

Loki, no matter what skin he wears, can’t resist Tony for long. He tentatively responds to the kiss, becoming more confident when he hears Tony’s pleased sigh. He’s relieved that Loki didn’t push him away but still angry. Tony growls and nips at Loki’s lips hard enough to draw blood. Abruptly, he ends the kiss, leaning back and licking the dark purple blood off his lips. Loki stares at him, transfixed, seemingly unaware of the blood that drips down his own lips. Tony moves back enough for Loki to have some semblance of space, but makes no move to take away his hands from where they’ve become entangled in Loki’s hair. It is cold, but not uncomfortably so. Unlike Liam, Loki strangely looks almost exactly the same as usual except for the coloring and the scar-like ridges running down his face. Tony misses the green eyes, but decides to keep that to himself.

“I do not think you’re a monster, I have no idea why you would, and I want you to stay with me.”

Some of the dazedness fades from Loki’s eyes, and his gaze snaps up from Tony’s mouth. “You lie.” He sounds as if he can’t even dare to hope that Tony might be telling the truth.

“I’m not and you know it. Loki, you look _amazing._ Do you have any idea what kind of picture you make? And your _voice._ It’s going to do me in, I swear.” Loki still looks as if he can’t even comprehend what Tony’s saying, let alone believe it. His thoughts are flitting across his face, too fast to figure out, but something Tony has never seen. Tony’s pretty sure it means that he’s shocked Loki to the core.  Loki closes his eyes, aware of Tony’s attention, and Tony realizes that words just aren’t going to cut it this time. For whatever reason, Loki hates this skin. Something like that lies far beyond words, but Tony needs him to understand. So he tries to press his feelings at Loki. It’s completely irrational, but he has this _feeling_ that it’s the right thing to do.

After a minute or two of seemingly fruitless effort, Tony feels a moment of contact. Loki’s eyes fly open, focusing on Tony in shock. A sliver of hope worms its way into his expression. “Truly?”

Tony sags in relief. He’s not exactly sure what Loki’s confirming, but all he cares about is that Loki felt it, nothing messed up in translation. “Yeah. So will you calm down?” Loki nods mutely. The play of light across his skin brings Tony’s attention to the lines raised on him. “What are these?” He asks, tracing his finger down one such line. “They almost look like scars.”

Loki closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. “They are biological. They mark me as the son of Laufey, and heir to the Jotun throne. If such things were hereditary,” he says softly.

Tony inhales sharply. “If you were some other king’s son, how did you end up in Asgard?”

“Jotuns are called frost giants for a reason, Tony. The name is quite literal.”

“I’m still lost. You weren’t big enough and so they put you up for adoption?”

“I was a runt and so I was left to die. The Allfather found me, took me, and let me believe for centuries that I was his son, all the while training me to hate and kill others of… my race.” There’s a slight hesitation before he claims himself as Jotun, and it speaks volumes for the depth of this hatred. Tony’s pretty sure there’s a dose of disgust thrown in as well.

“That’s rough. How’d you find out?”

“Quite by accident. I did not react well, as I’m sure Thor told you.”

Tony shakes his head. “Thor didn’t say anything other than mentioning that you were adopted. And it was in passing, too. I’ve heard you mention falling from the Bifrost before, but Jane told me that it’s not actually a bridge so I figured it was some weird Asgardian lingo or something. I didn’t want to make you angry, so I didn’t ask.”

“You speak with Jane Foster? And since when do you care about angering me?”

“Jane is a brilliant astrophysicist. I fund some of her projects, so naturally I’ve spoken to her. And there’s a difference between bugging you and making you angry. When you get angry, you leave.” Tony shrugs, embarrassed.

“I did come back.”

“I can’t always count on that with you. And you’re avoiding the subject. What happened when you found out? How did you fall off a bridge that doesn’t exist? Why did you fall?”

Loki sighs, eyes not meeting Tony’s. “First, I would like to correct your idiotic notion that there is no bridge. Some parts of the Bifrost are incorporeal, but on Asgard, there is very much a physical bridge.” He pauses there and looks like he isn’t planning to continue. Tony wants to give him a nudge, but this is a delicate situation. He decides that the best course of action is to stay silent, already thanking his lucky stars that Loki’s saying _something._ After a few minutes, Loki sighs again, probably figuring out that Tony isn’t planning on letting this go anytime soon. “I tried to destroy it,” he says hollowly. “All of Jotunheimr. And for a while, I was close. I could already feel the success of it, the triumph. I so very nearly wiped frost giants from existence, something everyone talked about but no one bothered to do. I almost _won._ ” Tony does his best not to flinch at Loki’s admission. Even now, there is barely concealed bitterness in his voice, the kind that speaks of being denied intense pleasure. Loki had attempted genocide, and even now he is upset that his victory was taken from him. “If Thor did not stop it, all of Jotunheimr would have perished by my hand.”

Tony is almost afraid to breathe. He doesn’t want to distract Loki from whatever place he’s in that’s letting him speak about this. He tries to fight down his revulsion, because genocide is not an easy pill to swallow. But this is Loki. Tony knew from the start that Loki’s no hero, and Tony accepts it again now. “I killed their king,” Loki continues, and yeah, Tony flinches here. Patricide and regicide all rolled into one is kind of overwhelming. “I attempted to ensure that no war would ever be fought between Asgard and Jotunheimr again.” His eyes flash now, with anger. “ _I chose Asgard._ I chose Asgard over my monstrous heritage, I did everything I could to erase those ties and prove my loyalty to the Asgardian throne.”

He pauses here, for far too long, and Tony needs to ask. “And what happened?”

“Thor broke the Bifrost, saving Jotunheimr in the process, and we were very close to being flung into the abyss. The Allfather caught us, and threw my efforts back in my face. So I let go.” _To rid the world of as many Jotun as possible._ Loki doesn’t say the words, but Tony hears them clear as day. “And I fell.”

“Where?” Tony asks, voice low. “Where did you fall?”

“Into the void, the in-between place. I believe you had an experience there.”

Tony shudders, remembering the cloying darkness that had been at once all too much but more than empty. Something had started to break in Tony’s mind when he was in the void, and he had fully expected to die there. “How did you survive that?”

“I did not intend to. However, there was a creature that had other plans.”

“What do you mean?” Tony’s not really sure he wants to know the answer, but the question had to be asked.

“I will not say his name, if only because he has strange ways of showing up where he is least wanted. It is this creature that caught me, and it is this creature that… convinced me to come to Midgard.”

Tony gets a different impression from Loki’s words, and the security footage from Loki’s first appearance runs through his mind. “He tortured you,” Tony says flatly, burning with hatred for the nameless creature.

Loki gives him a sharp look, considering. “I rather wish that was all he did. This creature was particularly skilled in invading minds. Just imagine your body so  broken that each beat of your heart is agony, only to open your eyes and see that you are whole, completely untouched. My mind, the one thing I have always relied on, was turned against me. I was weak, and my weakness let him in.” Loki is whispering now, and Tony barely dares to breathe for fear of interrupting him. Something tells him that Loki needs to say this. “He… rearranged things to his liking, and my mind became alien to me, a prison instead of a respite. And in my deranged state, he sent me here, to conquer for him.”

“But you lost,” Tony points out when it looks like Loki isn’t going to say anymore.

A ghost of a grin appears on the god’s face. “I did. I might not have been in my right mind, but I am contrary in nature. He made an error when he let me walk free. He should have used the staff to control me.”

“You lost on purpose.”

“I bow to no master.”

“You… you lost _on purpose,_ in a situation you had _no control over_ , and we captured you and sent you back to Asgard to be tortured _some more!_ ” Tony stalks away, angry at himself and angry at his team. They should’ve seen through it, dammit!

“Tony, it was the right decision.”

“No it wasn’t!” Tony turns on him. “We just charged in, no questions asked, weapons set to kill!”

“I killed people, Tony, and I took pleasure in it. I may not have desired to win, but I in no way made it easy for you.” He pauses. “I would have killed you too had the fancy taken me. You were of no benefit to me alive or dead, and so I let you be. I deserved what I was given.”

“You didn’t deserve torture. You could never do anything to convince me that you deserved torture.”

“I needed it. The Allfather is many things, but his mind is firmly rooted in his body and has never strayed past its walls. Though he could be creative in his punishments, my mind remained my own.”

“Creative?” Tony’s eyes are wide and he goes pale. “He came up with the burns, didn’t he?”

Loki nods agreeably, as if they were talking about the weather. “My Jotun physiology is not very resistant to heat, as you might have guessed. Odin did his best to shatter me, and he was quite successful in the physical sense. But,” Loki holds up a finger for emphasis, and boy does he look insane right about now, “my mind remained my own. I had the time and the opportunity to put the pieces back together, in a way that I found pleasing. I am not what I was, but I am something of my own creation. My mind will not so easily break now. The torture was necessary, a means to an end.”

“That…” Tony begins, still trying to process the information, “that is twisted.”

“We are talking about me. Did you expect anything different?”

“I want to say yes, but no, not really. Where does Thor fit into all of this? Did he know about your Jotun thing?”

Loki shakes his head. “Thor was as blissfully unaware as I was, though my discovery did put some things into perspective.” He says the last part extremely bitterly. Tony has no idea what he’s talking about, but decides to leave the topic for another day.

“I guess that kind of thing would,” he says simply. They go quiet for a second. Loki takes the opportunity to shift back into his normal, or rather, preferred skin. Jesus, Tony is really going to have to figure out how to address that properly. “So, this is going to sound really insensitive after all that, abrupt change of topic and all that, but what do you say to going out to dinner with me?”

Loki gives him a look. “How is that insensitive?”

“Uh, well, I changed the topic and stuff… Pepper used to get really mad at me for it.”

Loki raises an eyebrow, and Tony knows it’s an attempt to look normal. He still looks shaken from the conversation, but Tony can see that he’s beginning to regain his calm. “I am not Pepper, and I do believe we have exhausted the previous topic. Dinner would be lovely.”

Tony grins, because yeah, he loves it when Loki breaks out the prim voice, and he’s pretty sure Loki damn well knows it. He reaches out to grab Loki’s hand and drags him towards the elevator, never one to sit still when there are things to do. Relief is a wonderful feeling. “Did mine eyes deceive me earlier, or did I have magic in my fingers?”

His weird phrasing makes Loki laugh, as he hoped it would. “It would appear that you do. Not enough to bother with training, but definitely present.”

“Ha! And you thought I was some boring mortal!”

“If I thought you were nothing but a boring mortal,” Loki says, voice rich with amusement, “you’d be dead.”

“Aw, Lo, that’s an honest to god compliment coming from you! I think I might blush.”

“I do not think you even have that ability.”

Tony snickers. “I’ll try not to let your kind words go to my head. And speaking of heads, want to explain why your magic showed up in my head and why mine showed up in yours? Because I have a feeling that it’s something reeeaaally significant.”

“I do not wish to tell you at this time.”

“But you will tell me?”

Loki smiles. “Eventually.”

“Alright, I’ll take it.” Relief spreads through Loki’s features. Tony has to really work to reign in his curiosity.

“Tell me, Tony, where are we going to dinner?”

“Some really fancy place that charges way too much for their food.”

Loki snorts. “Your favorite kind of place, then.”

“Please, I like Burger King just as much.” Loki mutters something that sounds like ‘disgusting Midgardian wastes of food’, but Tony decides to ignore that. “You’re going to have to wear one of those new suits we bought.”

A grin spreads across Loki’s face. He really likes to be dressed well. “Wonderful. The grey one?”

There is no need to specify anything more, Tony knows exactly which suit Loki is referring to. Though they’d purchased more than a few grey suits, only one had been dubbed ‘the grey one’. It had made Loki’s ass look delectable. “The grey one,” Tony agrees.

By the time they’ve dressed and Happy shows up, things return to normal between them. Or at least, mostly normal. There is a sense of something between them, but both Tony and Loki pretend to ignore it for the time being.

Loki has become comfortable while going out, enough so that he and Tony spend a large portion of their evening teasing journalists and paparazzi. Shots of them kissing have been in high demand, and so Tony would lean to Loki, making it look like they were about to kiss, but pulling away or making strange faces at the last second. By the time they finally deigned to walk into the restaurant, they heard more than one frustrated noise aimed in their direction.  

Loki, Tony is pleased to note, is extremely pleased with the restaurant they go to. As usual, watching Loki enjoy food is a source of immense satisfaction for Tony, something Loki is sure to tease him about. The restaurant is definitely a return trip. When they go to leave, there are possibly more paparazzi outside than before, but when Loki and Tony return to their previous antics, many just lower their cameras grumpily and begin to grumble amongst themselves. This, of course, is when Loki decides to get mischievous. He shoves Tony up against a wall and proceeds to kiss the life out of him, successfully wiping Tony’s mind blank and standing in such a way that the paparazzi can’t get Tony in the picture. They are understandably extremely displeased with the whole event.

Happy is laughing at them when they finally get back in the car. The ingrate leans over in his seat and fist bumps Loki, leaving Tony to wonder where the hell he learnt the move. “Now they’re going to think I’m the bottom!” He whines, waving his hand in the general direction of the restaurant.

“You are the bottom, darling.”

“Yeah, but now they know it! Tony Stark doesn’t bottom,” he says imperiously. He’s joking, and they both know it.

Loki affects a shocked expression. “Well, this news is shocking. When were you going to tell me?”

Tony only manages to pout for a second before he burst into laughter. “You are such an asshole.”

Chuckling, Loki leans in to kiss him. “I know, you are fond of telling me so,” he says softly.

Tony smirks and leans into Loki. “Good, so long as you remember.”

“With you around I hardly get the chance to forget.”

Happy looks at them, making eye contact through the mirror. “If you two start making out you can walk home.”

“Not cool, Hogan! You never minded before!”

“I’m thinking your boyfriend has more dignity than what you brought home before.”

Beside him Loki is shaking with laughter. Tony lets out an irritated sigh. “Why do I even pay you?” Happy doesn’t bother with an answer.

Finally back at the tower, something of a tense atmosphere arises. Loki is quiet, thinking about what happened earlier. Tony is quiet too, giving the god some space to think. Really, he’s bursting with curiosity about Loki. He wants to ask so many questions but he knows they’d be unwelcome, so he waits. Instead, there is one thing that he decides he’s going to ask now.


	13. Pieces of Broken Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! So I feel like I should tell you guys that I've officially written the ending, hooray! You'll all get to see it soon, possibly in two or three chapters from now (because I've actually got no idea how long what I've written will be until i type it up). 
> 
> So here we are, chapter 13 of This is Gospel. Please enjoy, and thank you so much for reading this far!

“Hey, Lo?”

“Yes Tony?”

“You’re going to come to bed with me, right?”

Loki blinks. “If I am wanted,” he hedges, uncertain as to where Tony is going with all this. And he is ‘Tony’ now, rather than ‘Stark’. Feeling Tony in his mind trying to show Loki feelings the god knows Tony hasn’t seen for what they are… There is no way Tony can be called anything else but his proper name. Loki’s earlier plans of becoming Tony’s friend and nothing more go up in flames. He’s never been one for fighting a losing battle, not unless there’s something in it for him.

“Hmm… if that’s how you’re going to put it, then you’d better just move all your stuff into my room.”

Loki pauses inside the doorway to Tony’s room. “And why would I do that?”

Tony grins, walking up to press himself against Loki. “Because I want you,” he whispers, mouth so close that Loki can feel each puff of air across his lips. Loki knows his expression morphs into something pitiful, something pained. He knows, yet he does nothing to stop it. Tony’s words are something he’s longed to hear, and so he lets Tony see exactly what they do to him. Tony brings his hands up to cup Loki’s face, and then tenderly, gently, he leans in the last few millimeters to kiss him. Loki lets himself be kissed, enjoying the sweetness of it, something he probably wouldn’t have allowed yesterday. But that was yesterday and this is today. Now, his goals have changed, and this is a battle Loki aims to win.

So he lets Tony have his way for a while before he deepens the kiss, taking Tony’s tongue into his mouth and sucking on it lightly. Tony moans, as Loki knew he would, and moves one hand to tangle his fingers in Loki’s hair. The action makes Loki think back to when he had intended to cut his hair, but now decides that he’ll grow it as long as Tony wants. What is a little inconvenience in the face of Tony’s pleasure?

Never once breaking contact, Loki walks Tony back towards the bed, until the backs of his knees hit the mattress and Tony topples over, grinning. Loki goes to snap his fingers and rid them of their clothes, but Tony holds up a hand. “Hey wait, I want to try something.”

“What?”

“I want to strip you.” Heat flares and tingles down Loki’s spine, something only Tony has managed to do. Grinning, he steps back and spreads his arms, a clear invitation for Tony to do as he pleases.

Tony takes a moment to run his eyes over Loki, clearly appreciative, before he stands up and slides his hands along Loki’s neck, trailing them down so they slip under the lapels of his jacket. He pushes the suit jacket off Loki’s shoulders, running his hands down Loki’s arms as he goes. Loki has to resist the urge to close his eyes and bask in the warmth of Tony’s touch; he does not want to miss a second of Tony’s expression. There is fire in his eyes, fierce enough to nicely balance out Loki’s ice.

Button by button, Tony opens Loki’s vest until that too falls to the floor. His crisp white shirt is next. This time, as Tony undoes each button, he leans in to kiss and lick at the skin he reveals, placing small bites here and there. His ministrations cause Loki to le tout a low groaning sound, almost as if he was purring. This sound is clearly pleasing to Tony. Soon Loki’s shirt joins the pile of discarded clothes on the floor.

Tony pauses. “Let me see you, Lo.” Loki tenses up; Tony’s meaning is unmistakable.

“Why?” He whispers hoarsely.

“Because I just want to see you. I want to know how far down those lines go. I want to know if you taste any different. I want you. All of you.” Loki shudders at his tone. It sounds so possessive, and despite his reservations, Loki shifts into his Jotun form. Tony makes a sound of satisfaction, and almost immediately his hands are on Loki, tracing the lines down his chest. Where before Tony’s hands were sources of warmth, now each press of Tony’s fingers is searing heat, bordering on pain. It is intoxicating.

Tony obviously takes great delight in tracing Loki’s markings, and there are many. Leaning in, he presses himself to the god and reaches behind him, to run his hands along the marks on Loki’s back. Though he puts in a monumental effort to resist, this time Loki’s eyes do slide closed. Tony is radiating heat. Loki wonders how a creature of ice and cold can find such comfort and attraction in warmth. Then Tony pulls back and tugs Loki towards the bed. The god goes willingly, letting Tony push him down on his back. Tony climbs onto Loki, straddling him, and Loki decides that he would enjoy the sight so much more if Tony was not wearing any clothes. A snap of his fingers is all it takes, and then a gloriously nude Tony is astride him. He leaves his own pants on; Tony clearly has plans for them.

Grinning, Tony leans down and begins to lick along Loki’s chest, tasting the marks he had so demanded to see. Loki has never felt such heat. It is near overwhelming. Gasps and bucks his hips, but Tony goes no faster. He continues his sweet torture, slowly drifting lower and lower until his lips brush the waistband of Loki’s pants. He unbuttons them, smirking when he discovers that the god is wearing nothing beneath them. Unfortunately, necessity demands that Tony has to move away to pull Loki’s pants off, but Tony does not stay away for long. He starts anew at Loki’s ankles, pressing a kiss to each one, and working his way up the god’s rather long legs. Tony’s lips leaves trails of heat along Loki’s skin, and for the first time in his Jotun form, Loki feels warm.

Finally finished his ministrations, Tony climbs back on top of Loki and presses their erections together, groaning at the friction the action causes. Loki moans; the sound is almost strangled. The heat almost becomes more than he can handle, and so Loki quickly shifts back to his original form.

“What?”

“Too hot.”

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t even think about that. You okay?” Tony starts to pull away, but Loki holds him in place.

“It was not painful, just overwhelming.”

“You sure?”

Loki grins and arches his hips, bringing them back into contact. “Most definitely.” Loki pauses then, watching Tony hesitantly. There is something he wants, but he is not sure Tony would be agreeable to it.

“What is it?” Tony asks curiously, correctly interpreting the look on Loki’s face.

“Will you take me tonight?”

Tony stills. “You want me to fuck you?” He asks blankly.

“Yes.”

“Are… are you sure?” It sounds as if he is reluctant, and hurt curls in Loki’s chest. But he wants this, so he ignores the feeling.

“Not even ten minutes since our meeting you had already claimed me as your own. Claim me now. Give me a place to belong.” Loki’s voice goes soft towards the end, soft that he knows Tony can barely hear it. Loki doesn’t really want the words to be heard, but they slip out all the same.

“Being owned isn’t what you need.” Tony’s voice is just as soft.

“Take me, Tony,” Loki says, voice clear. “Take me and own me and want me. I know what I need.” Loki draws back, expression equally hopeful and terrified. The words just keep coming, bubbling up from whatever hole he had hidden them away in. “I want to be yours.” Loki has had a taste of Tony, of Tony’s acceptance, of Tony’s generosity, of the brilliance of Tony’s mind. He does not intend to give it up. Desperately wanting to know what Tony’s thinking, Loki uses the bond to attempt to gage Tony’s feelings. What he gets is a jumbling-chaotic mess, though he is awarded the satisfaction of seeing Tony’s eyes widen when he feels the brush of Loki’s mind, followed by an unwavering certainty.

“I will take you on one condition.”

Hope flares in Loki’s chest. “Anything.” He’d follow Tony to the end of eternity, give anything, be anything, and the feeling is terrifying. It is more than just a bond. Loki trusts Tony. He admires him. He is fascinated by him. This idiotic human has captured Loki’s attention, and the god knows he would do anything to deserve him.

“I will take you, but you have to take _me_ and own me and want me. I don’t want you standing behind me; I want you next to me, because you don’t deserve anything less. Hell, you deserve better than me, but I’m your to take, if you’ll have me.” Shock flares through Loki, so thoroughly that the god goes completely still. Vaguely, he feels Tony’s mind hesitantly brush against his. The touch is comforting and reassuring with an undercurrent of something much more vibrant and intense. Loki’s know what it is called, but refuses to allow the feeling a name. His shocked silence carries on for a little too long, long enough that Tony sits back uncertainly. “It’s your decision, Loki.”

His words break Loki out of his daze. Loki leans forward and kisses Tony. He kisses him with all the fervor and passion he can muster, touching Tony’s mind at the same time. They meet in an explosion of emotions, and when they finally pull apart—physically and mentally—they’re both panting. “I accept your conditions,” Loki answers.

A blindingly bright smile spreads across Tony’s face, and Loki can feel the happiness radiating from him. He leans down, kissing Loki tenderly, before sitting up again, smile till firmly in place. “Great! Now that that’s settled, I believe you said something about fucking?” The nonchalant words would have bothered Loki if not for the giddy nervousness he can feel Tony is attempting to hide behind them, so he grins.

“I did indeed. Fuck me, Tony.” He leans in so his lips brush Tony’s as he speaks. “Make me scream for you.”

“With pleasure.”

It is different like this, being on the receiving end rather than the giving, but Loki happily hands control over to Tony. Loki needs this. He needs the contact. He needs to be at Tony’s mercy. Loki knows this with utmost certainty, and he can tell that the feeling is starting to dawn on Tony as well. This needs to happen almost as much as Loki wants it to happen.

He uses no magic this time. Loki does give Tony the option, but the human insists on doing everything himself. It takes longer than Loki had originally wanted, but by the time he is ready to be taken, the god finds that he really cannot complain. Tony has managed to shower him in reverent touches, and Loki feels treasured. It is a good feeling, and he makes sure to share it with Tony’s mind.

Finally, Tony slicks himself up, and Loki eagerly awaits him, but Tony pauses. “Have you ever done this before?”

A hint of frustration crawls into Loki’s expression. He wants Tony inside him _now._ “I am nearly two thousand years your senior, Tony. Do not think I have been celibate all that time,” he growls. “Now fuck me.”

Despite his command, Loki can just tell that Tony intends to take it slow, and though he did intend to give Tony control, Loki’s patience only extends so far. He wraps his legs around Tony and forces him to slam into him, letting out a rumbling groan and relishing the burn. Tony gasps and goes still, his entire body tense. Loki reaches out to his mind and feels Tony’s hesitance to hurt him warring with his need to move. Wrapping his mind around Tony’s, Loki makes his pleasure known, brushing away Tony’s concern with a thought. “ _Move_ ” he commands, mentally and verbally. Tony wastes no time and does exactly as he is ordered.

Satisfied, Loki goes to withdraw his mind from Tony’s, but Tony tightens his hold on him, radiating his pleasure at the contact. Curiously, Loki deepens the contact as Tony continuously slams into him. Loki is sure to send the sensations along their mental link. When they hit Tony, his hips stutter for a second before he moans beautifully. Then Loki’s mind is being flooded with Tony’s sensations, doubling with his own intense pleasure. He pulls Loki closer, mentally and physically, and Loki finds that he loves it. Feelings and sensations are filling them both, amplifying, and being sent out again, rebounding across their mental link. The build is unlike anything Loki has ever felt before. It nearly steals his breath away. Almost desperately, Tony leans down and kisses Loki. He reaches between them to take the god in hand, and Loki is very nearly almost overwhelmed. He grasps at Tony’s mind, arching up into Tony’s touch, reveling in the frantic slide of Tony’s lips on his, just basks in the glory that is Tony.

He feels Tony’s mind gripping him possessively close. They are each trying to lose themselves completely in the other. The sensations are so intense, so powerful; it seems as if they must surely combust if this continues any longer, and then, a single, crystalline moment of clarity.

For a second, a single, shining second, their minds slip from two separate entities into one. Loki can feel every bit of Tony as his own. He can feel the pleasure and happiness. He can feel the vastness of his mind, can feel the hum of the great star Tony has trapped in his chest. The connection triples the already immense sensations running through Loki. His orgasm rips through him, leaving Loki screaming in its wake. Tony barely lasts a fraction of a second longer, having experienced Loki’s orgasm with him. The human comes deep inside the god, his mouth open in soundless ecstasy. Loki does his best to burn the image into his memory, even as experiencing Tony’s orgasm with him nearly knocks Loki into unconsciousness. He never wants to forget the way Tony looks, completely destroyed and fulfilled as he finishes taking Loki for the first time.

The sense of connection fades somewhat as Loki’s eyes droop. Above him, Tony pulls out gently before collapsing next to Loki, utterly spent. Loki barely has the energy to wave his hand and send his magic to clean them off. He sort of manages to be shocked by his complete lack of energy—as shocked as any sentient being is capable of being at his current level of fatigue—and turns his head to look at Tony. His eyes are fluttering closed, but Loki catches a glimpse of warmth and naked affection. Smiling in response, Loki falls asleep curled up into the heat of Tony’s body and wrapped in the comfort of Tony’s mind. His last waking seconds are filled with the vague sense that something of monumental importance has occurred, but the thoughts are silenced as heavy sleep takes him.

****

Tony wakes up with the knowledge that Loki is exactly four and a half inches away from him, curled on his side. He is not happy about the distance, so he rolls to his side and throws an arm over the sleeping god, the contact instantly dissipating the tension that had built up inside him.

Then his eyes snap open and Tony has a brief moment of _what the fuck?_

Suddenly, Loki wakes up. Tony can tell, not because the god moved or gave any indication of awareness, but because the definite presence of Loki in the back of his mind sharpens, curiosity and wariness permeating from it, as well as a vague underlying feeling of warmth, but not surprise. Not like Tony’s current feelings. Loki knew this would happen, then. This, or something like this. “Morning, Lo-lo.”

Hesitantly, Loki rolls over, unable to stop a small smile from escaping when he sees Tony. Tony can’t help but smile in return in the face of Loki’s obvious contentment. He leans in to kiss him, thinking that if Loki was this happy whatever happened could not be so bad. Tony’s initial freak-out fades, and as he becomes calmer so too does Loki’s wariness diminish. “Do you think now might be a good time to tell me about your theory?” Tony asks, carefully blandly.

Loki clears his throat, eyes glancing away from Tony’s for a second. “It is no longer a theory.” Hesitance stems from Loki’s place in his mind. Tony’s eyebrows rise as several things suddenly fall into place, first among them the fact that Loki actually _has a place in his mind._ The small, seemingly inconsequential specs of shared magic in both his and Loki’s minds suddenly take on an entirely new meaning. Tony’s breath leaves him in a rush.

Tony Stark is no idiot, and even an idiot would be able to put two and two together. Add to that an extensive knowledge of fantasy and sci-fi books and movies, and Tony is positive he knows what Loki’s theory was about.

“Loki, is this some kind of bond? I mean, I’m pulling from fiction here, and kind of combining some things, but that’s the general idea I’m getting.”

Shock sparks from Loki. “You are not wrong.” But not completely right, either, apparently.

Tony tires a different tactic. “You knew about it.”

“For quite a while, yes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It was supposed to be a one-sided bond.”

And there goes all of Tony’s fictional knowledge. “Explain.” _Everything,_ he tacks on silently.

“Bonds are rare. Complete bonds even more so.”

“How rare?”

“They are thought to be nothing more than myth, yet here we are. Imagine my shock when I realized that a bond is what drew me here. The discovery changed my plans quite thoroughly.”

“You still haven’t told me why you though it was one-sided.”

“You interrupted me.”

“Loki,” Tony says warningly, and the god sighs.

“Though bonds are thought to be myth, there is some information available. Only two things are absolute throughout all cultures and races. A bond will affect each race differently, and only those with magic can experience a bond.” He takes Tony’s hand and plays with his fingers. Fingers that had been highlighted with magic. Tony’s eyes widen. “I had thought you did not fall among those parameters, so I decided to content myself with your friendship and ask for nothing more than I was given.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Loki’s attention remains on their intertwined hands. “I did not wish for any sort of obligation or pity you felt towards my situation to be the basis of our relationship.”

“So the scans changed your mind?”

“They did not.”

For some reason, this makes Tony immensely angry. “So you found a bond, something so rare nobody thinks can even exist, you suddenly discover that this bond has the potential to be returned, and you were still going to leave?!”

“Yes.”

Loki’s answer feels like a punch to the gut. “So why are you here? What changed your mind?”

“Yours did.”

Tony is beginning to lose his patience. “My _what_ did?”

“Your mind. In the lab, you touched me with the brilliance of your mind. The bond had already progressed beyond anything I thought possible. The feel of it…” Loki trails off, eyes glittering. “In that second I decided that I could not give it up. I could not give _you_ up. I am, by nature, a very selfish creature, and I decided that I wanted you, that I would do whatever necessary to have you.” Tony’s anger leaves him alarmingly quickly. Loki is telling the truth. Tony can feel him reliving the sensations of that first major contact, and his eyes soften.

He brings their joined hands up to his lips and brushes a kiss along Loki’s knuckles. “Okay, I’ll take it.” His acceptance and even excitement about the bond roll across their link, adding a unique softness to his otherwise causal words. Loki smiles, radiating relief, warmth, and delight. They sit quietly for a moment, but then Tony has another question. “Now what?”

Loki sighs. “Why is it that whenever something changes you think everything has to change?”

“Doesn’t it?”

A smile. “Not quite, no.”

“Well in that case,” Tony leans in and kisses Loki soundly. “How about an extremely long shower and an extremely late breakfast?”

“I have no objections.”

“Excellent.”

 

Despite what Loki’s assurances that nothing is really going to change, there are differences. Tony knows exactly where Loki is all the time, down to a fraction of an inch. Their emotions are almost frequently shared between them, and by extension, every touch they share is amplified. It is excellent, wonderful, amazing, and it really drives home exactly how monumental this is.

These small changes are how Loki knows Tony is still quietly freaking out about the whole situation; Loki’s rising concern is how Tony knows the god is aware of his slight panic. He’s trying not to make a big deal out of this. Loki is bothered by Tony’s current emotions, not the bond itself, so Tony tries to follow his example. He tries to act like nothing really changed, because at the essence of things, nothing really did. The only major difference now is that Tony has more knowledge than before, and knowledge is as dangerous as it is beneficial. Despite Tony’s best efforts, it kind of skews his perspective.

The sex is amazing, he has to admit. Being so involved in someone’s mind and body at the same time is something intimate and awe-inspiring, and altogether something Tony knows he will absolutely never get tired of.

The sensation of the whole situation is novel. Tony knows where Loki is and he can gage Loki’s emotions, which is pretty cool. Tony is itching to get back in the lab and run tests, just for the hell of it. Tony knows Loki is amused by that thought, though the amusement is overshadowed by his concern for Tony’s panicked emotions. This entire situation is allowing Tony to experience first-hand the compartmentalization of a mind other than his, and it is _fascinating._ Tony does not mind the closeness of it at all. In fact, he could even say he loves it.

It is what the bond represents that is freaking Tony out. To him, this bond represents a degree of permanence that terrifies him. It’s not that Tony doesn’t want permanence, or that he doesn’t like it. It’s just that Tony manages to fuck things up in record amounts of time. Pepper is proof enough of that.

This bond makes Tony want to touch Loki, to be near him, if only for the sake of contact. It is not an entirely new feeling, which is surprising, but it is more present now than any days previous, which is why Tony suddenly notices it. If Loki ever gets tired of him, if Tony well and truly fucks up, what happens then? Will they be forced to stay near each other, everything they have now slowly being twisted into hatred? Or will Loki leave Tony alone? Either prospect terrifies Tony, and thinking about them only threatens to push him into full-blown panic, but he can’t stop. His mind is stuck.

Abandoning his breakfast, Loki looks up at Tony with a resigned sigh. “You worry too much.”

Tony tries to smile. “Sorry, Lo, but this is big. I’m doing my best over here.”

“Perhaps if you tell me what it is that is bothering you we can lessen your anxiety?”

It’s less of a question and more of a demand. Tony hesitates, thinking that this conversation will not in any way go over smoothly, but he might as well put his cards on the table. “I don’t want to fuck up…” he mumbles into his coffee.

Loki raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“I don’t want to fuck up!” Tony yells. “I always fuck up! I have never achieved any sort of healthy, permanent relationship, and now you’re stuck with me.”

Loki’s eyes narrow; anger pulses through the bond. “I am not ‘stuck’ with you. I made my choice. In any event, I doubt you will ‘fuck up’ enough to force me away.”

“Oh yeah? Ask anybody. I fucked up with Pepper. I fucked up with Rhodey. I fucked up with Steve. I am going to fuck up so badly with my team, it’s just a matter of time, and I’ve probably already started. I am so fucked up that only one of those examples was a romantic relationship! I can’t even manage friends!”

“Stop this! Stop this ridiculous display of self-pity. It will get you nowhere,” Loki growls. “And must you always bring up that woman? ‘Liam’ has spoken with Romanov. I know how that woman treats you. The fault lies with her, and she is too self-obsessed to notice it. I do not know who this Rhodey is, but your opinion of Rogers is pathetic. That man will stay loyal to you until Yggdrasil withers and the universe is plunged into darkness. _Will you not see reason_?”

Tony flinches. “Eventually, something I do will make them leave. And what happens when you get tired of me?” Tony suddenly looks defeated, the expression so alien on his face that Loki flinches away from it. “We should have thought this through.”

Tony is greeted with silence. That is, until he feels a searing heat building up in his head. With a start, he realizes that the heat is rage and the rage is Loki’s. Cautiously, Tony raises his eyes and winces. Loki is pinning him with a glare so icy Tony’s surprised he hasn’t frozen on the spot. “Lo,” he begins tentatively, but the god’s eyes flash dangerously, stopping him from saying any more.

“Enough! Why do you insist on behaving like an imbecile? Search my mind, Stark, if words cannot convince you.” Tony winces again, because Loki is _pissed._ Feelings are being shoved at him, bombarding him with permanence, solidity, determination, all _immovable._ “I intend to stay. I will never regret this decision. Stop this disgusting display of inferiority and see what is before you!”

“And what is that, exactly?” Tony asks, still morose.

Loki sighs, suddenly drained of his anger. “Exactly the same as what you offer me. You have all I am, and that includes all of my ‘fuck ups’, as you have so artfully labeled them, past and future.”

Some of Tony’s anxiety slips away. “That’s supposed to be reassuring, Silvertongue?”

Loki smirks. “We are stubborn, you and I. Determined. Do you honestly believe a quarrel will be incentive enough for me to abandon what is mine?” Tony fidgets, his thoughts obviously turning down a bad road. “Tony, would you give up on me?”

His answer is immediate and definite. “No.”

“Then trust that I will do the same.”

Tony relaxes. He can do that. Possibly. “I’ll try.”

“That is satisfactory.”

Tony makes a face. “Satisfactory? I just committed myself to this and all I get is ‘satisfactory’?” He’s teasing, his unease mostly fading away. He’ll put his trust in Loki. He can live with that.

A grin stretches across Loki’s face. “My apologies, darling. Perhaps you would prefer something more… bold?”

“What did you have in mind?” Loki leans forward, mischief glinting in his eyes, but Tony never gets to hear what he was going to say.

Alarms go off in the tower.


	14. Don’t Try to Sleep Through the End of the World and Bury Me Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! As a few of you might have noticed, it hasn't been an entire week yet. Yes, rejoice, I am posting early! This is because I am currently smack dab in the middle of exams, and I am leaving for Europe for a whole month right after. Obviously, I won't be posting much while I'm abroad. So, my schedule is super-packed right now, but the story is done, so I'm posting when I can so this can be done before I leave.
> 
> Please enjoy!!
> 
> P.S. This chapter is slightly evil.

So of course, once things get good, something has to go really, really wrong.

“Sir, Captain Rogers is on the line. I am patching him through immediately.”

“Jarvis, you are such a damn cock-block!” The AI doesn’t respond to that. Instead, Steve’s voice comes through the comms.

“Tony, you need to suit up. We’ve got enemy movement over Brooklyn, code red. Do you copy?”

Tony is out of his seat and running for the elevator before Steve even finishes. So much for his nice morning. “Shit, yeah I hear you. What’s the situation look like?”

“Not good.” Steve’s voice sounds grim. “You got Liam with you?”

Tony pauses. “Yeah, he’s here.”

“Keep him there. Maybe even move him down to the lab, where it’s more secure.” Tony swears. Sounds like the situation is more than ‘not good’. Before he can jump into the elevator, Loki pulls him aside and presses a quick kiss to his lips.

“Make them know true terror and then return to me,” he orders Tony solemnly.  Tony nods and proceeds to take the elevator straight down to the lab.

“Jarvis, get the latest prototype powered up. I feel like vibranium reinforced plates are a good idea.”

“The charge will be completed by the time you arrive, sir.”

“Excellent. Steve, you still there?”

“Yeah,” Steve’s voice is crackling now, which means he’s using the field-work comms.

Tony swears again. “You’ve gone out? Who’s where? Keep me updated, Cap.”

“I’ve gone out with Thor and Hawkeye, Black Widow and Hulk are waiting for you.”

Tony nods to himself. It’s their usual setup. “Okay. Comms are staying open; let me know when you get visuals.” Steve agrees and Tony steps into his upgraded suit. It feels heavier than usual, and there is a slight, almost unnoticeable humming running throughout it. It probably has something to do with the vibranium plates, but Tony has no time to test that now. He blasts out of his lab to the meeting point, where Natasha leaps onto his back in a practiced movement. Once they’re at a safe distance, Bruce Hulks-out behind them and follows, recognizing the Iron Man suit as a friend. Hulk likes Tony for some reason, which is why they’re in the same group.

They make it to Brooklyn fairly quickly. Tony slows down and lands a good distance away from the coordinates Jarvis had implemented, worried about Steve’s radio silence. He’s beginning to wonder what might have gone wrong when he sees the super-soldier jogging up to them, waving his arm. “Steve, what happened to your comms?”

“Fried. Some sort of explosion took them out.” As he draws nearer, Tony notices that he looks kind of singed.

“What about Barton’s comms?”

“Same thing, but he’s alright. Actual blast didn’t touch him.” Tony looks around the deceptively quiet street they’re standing in. It would almost be serene if not for the black smoke coiling in the distance. Tony sighs and pops open a compartment on his suit. He takes out two sets of spare comm. units and tosses them to Steve, much to the captain’s relief. “Thanks.” He shoves one in his ear, tucking the other one away until he can get it to Clint. “Okay, Nat, I need your help with civilian evacuation. Doom’s sent his bots out again.” Natasha curses. She can take out Doom Bots more than easily, but they also have a higher chance of getting at her. She and Clint usually take the back seat on missions like this while Tony, Thor, and Hulk happily smash robots to bits. Though she hates it, her finesse and efficiency is needed elsewhere, so she follows after Steve.

Tony takes back to the sky, flying towards the center of activity. Doom Bots are milling about, swarming the streets but suspiciously absent from the sky. That immediately puts Tony’s hackles up. Doom usually has those trash bins buzzing around like flies. Scanning for Thor, Tony spots the Asgardian lighting the bastards up, overloading their power cores and frying their circuitry.

Tony sighs in exasperation. He honestly doesn’t know why Doom insists on sending such shoddy work at them. It really is just a waste of everyone’s time.

He is still thinking this when Thor spots him and shouts a warning. A pulse comes across Tony’s scanners, and he swerves, but not before a pile of destroyed bots explode, sending out massive EMP waves before the actual blast can even hit Tony. Needless to say, the EMP waves knock out his suit’s systems. His displays flicker dangerously as he begins to plummet, though thankfully not going out, and then the actual blast flings him away, sending Tony flying head first into a building.

Head ringing from the impact, Tony lies still for a second before his suit comes back. Shakily, he gets up onto his feet, trying to focus on the concerned voices coming through his comms. “Fuck, Steve! The explosion thing would’ve been nice to know!” Tony’s voice comes through kind of slurred. His vision is kind of off, but at least his helmet is still intact. Vibranium reinforcement is a good thing.

“It kind of slipped my mind. They’ve got a lot of civilians trapped, I’m doing my best.” Tony groans. Suddenly, the easy-win he’s been picturing becomes a lot more complicated.

Clint’s calm voice cuts into his argument with Steve. “Iron Man, you’ve got a squadron of bots on your left and your right, approaching from both sides of the streets.”

“Thanks.” Tony glances down each end of the street, quickly discarding any notion of flying out. He doesn’t want to risk being knocked out of the air again, not with his head already feeling awful. He powers up the laser chips in his gloves. It’s a risky move, but the bots have already destroyed most of the street anyways. “Jarvis, try and get some readings. There has to be a limit to the detonation sensors. Find it.”

“There is a faint signal detected, sir, but it is not registering properly. I cannot tell whether or not it fades naturally or if I can no longer detect it.” Doom Bots come into view, closing him in.

“Well fuck. Give me what you got.” Numbers flash across his visor. They’re not good. He’s already in range. Ah well. Nothing to lose now. He waits a second longer before he activates the lasers, slicing the bots in half and a few cars too. They’re not his problem at the moment.

Warnings blare across his screen. Tony kicks off into the air before he even registers what they mean. He’s glad he does. The initial pulse flares across his sensors, but with an extra burst of speed Tony manages to get out of range of the EMPs. The blast, however, is smaller, and doesn’t do nearly as much damage as he thought it would. “Jarvis? Any ideas?”

“It appears you’ve cut through some vital components of the explosive compound, though the electro-magnetic waves are not allowing me to take any scans to confirm this.”

Tony grunts. “Barton, are any of Thor’s bots spontaneously combusting?”

“Only the ones he takes down with his hammer. The bots he electrocutes stay down.”

“The explosions are being caused by something like an electrical bomb. Something important is located somewhere in the middle of their bodies. There’s electro-magnetic interference, so I can’t be more definite than that.” Tony pauses, an idea coming to him. “Do  the bots explode before they get smashed?”

“After, as far as I’ve seen.” Clint answers.

“You’ve got a plan,” Natasha cuts in. “Enlighten me.”

Tony grins. “Cap, how’s evac going?”

“We’ve got a couple blocks cleared. S.H.E.I.L.D.’s starting to take over, so it’s moving faster.”

“Excellent. I need Tasha off evac. Barton and I are going to start herding bots for Thor to fry. Tasha, get in contact with Thor, let him know about the new plan.” It really is a pain having to get things to Thor like that, but he kicks up so much electrical interference that he fries his own comm units almost instantly. Tony hasn’t gotten around to inventing a new set to avoid that, but it’s on his list.

“I have Thor in sight, he’s coming over,” Natasha says, sounding extremely fuzzy. Thor can sometimes cause damage from close proximity too.

“Excellent. Feel free to join in once Thor knows what’s going on.”

“Copy that.” Natasha sounds excited. Grinning, Tony flies higher, mapping out where the potentially-explosive already destroyed bots are. He uses the maximum of the range Jarvis found him and adds in extra distance to be on the safe side, ending up with mapped out no-fly zones. Tony’s done reckless before, and Steve has chewed him out for it more times than he’d care to count. Today probably wouldn’t have been any different, but Tony’s head already aches from that first impact. It still feels like his helmet is ringing from it, and he knows the issue has something to do with the vibranium alloy, but he also knows that it’s thanks to the vibranium alloy that he’s still in the fight. This is, after all, the first test run of the suit, and Jarvis is taking readings that he’ll analyze later. So while his safety parameters may be unusual, Tony has decided that he’s risking enough for the day. Besides, he has a god to get home to.

Tony’s plan works suspiciously easy, especially since these bots don’t seem to be able to fly. The Avengers are able to lure and obliterate a big portion of Doom’s shitty minions, especially after Steve joins them. But something is off. Usually Doom would’ve shown up by this point and start going off on his whole villain spiel. He hasn’t, and Tony is getting increasingly worried. Nothing promises trouble like a change in routine. It has been way too quiet for way too long to result in this half-assed attempt, and in Brooklyn too. It feels almost like a practice run, but the attack is too large-scale for that. The only other option would be a distraction.

Tony’s eyes go wide, but before he can say anything, Steve is yelling into the comms. “Tony! Turn around!” Tony tries to, but he’s not fast enough. Something solid slams into his back, followed shortly by two other impacts. Metal clamps extend and circle his suit, effectively trapping his arms and legs. He can’t blast his way out; even the center repulsor on his chest would be useless. Tony can’t shake them off. He can’t move. He begins to plummet from the sky, the extra weight pulling him down faster than he thought would be possible.

“Sir, three Doom Bots have attached themselves to your suit. I cannot think of a way to dislodge them.”

“Shit!” There really isn’t much else to say. The ground is rushing up fast, his team is screaming into the comms. Nobody can help him. He’s too far and there’s too many piles of bots waiting to explode. Terror wells inside him. He’s turned upside down and is falling head first. His terror doubles, Loki’s caught on. From far above him, Tony hears Doom’s maniacal laugh. He slams into a rooftop with so much force he’s nearly knocked out. It doesn’t halt his fall, he weighs too much, and so he smashes through several other floors, somehow managing to remain conscious through the whole thing. Then he stops, and Tony hopes for a blindingly bright second that that was the worst of it, that Doom’s crappy tech had failed him and all Tony has to do is wait for a rescue team. The dust barely has a chance to settle before that hope is brutally murdered. A warning blares across his flickering screen. The bots attached to Tony explode.

Immediately, all he knows is pain. The building is collapsing on top of him. Loki is screaming in his mind, but the sound is suddenly ripped away in an all-encompassing darkness. Tony is afraid. Loki is not with him and Tony is alone.

****

When Tony leaves to destroy whoever it is that is threatening this city, Loki decides to actually wear real clothes instead of the sweats and t-shirt that he usually favors when he remains at home. _Home._ The word sends a flare of warmth through the god. Digging through the closet, he settles on a pair of immaculately tailored jeans and a dark green shirt. Tony had laughed when Loki picked it out and said that the god needed to expand his color horizons. Loki had scowled, claimed the color suited him best, and stepped out of the changing room, eyes flickering from Liam’s to his own, watching in satisfaction as Tony nodded his agreement. It is strange to have fond memories attached to an article of clothing.

Once dressed, he pulls his hair into a messy braid. It is much too long to leave loose. He really wants to cut it, but he decides to wait until there is something to distract Tony with for a couple of days. The idiot human is much too obsessed with his hair. Not that he particularly minds. Loki smiles fondly.

Along with a book and an apple, the god makes himself comfortable. He chooses a book he has already read so that he does not have to pay much attention to it. His mind is busy keeping an eye on Tony, measuring the human’s emotional state and distance. Though he knows perfectly well that Tony is more than capable of taking care of himself, Loki is more comfortable like this. Humans are frustratingly mortal, and metal suit or not, Tony is far from immune.

Loki winces, abandoning his book entirely when Tony takes the first hit. Loki decides that it must have been an immensely hard hit to the head; Tony’s mind feels fuzzy in a way that makes Loki begin to worry. He paces along the windows, calming slightly when Tony’s mind regains some of its sharpness. Loki can feel that Tony is suspicious or skeptical about something, but he doesn’t seem overly concerned about it. For a while, nothing more is forthcoming, save a vague sense of satisfaction. Loki assumes it is because things are going Tony’s way, and so he allows himself to relax further, his calm almost completely returned. He stops his pacing and just looks out of the windows. Loki is on the wrong side of the building to see Brooklyn, so he enjoys the general view of New York instead. He has grown to like the city he almost destroyed.

Panic blossoms suddenly and acutely from Tony’s mind; Loki’s calm shatters. “Jarvis! Something is wrong with Tony. Get me information _now._ ”

“Three Doom Bots have attached themselves to Sir’s suit. They cannot be removed, and the resulting extra weight has knocked out the suit’s flight capabilities.”

Loki’s eyes go wide as Tony’s panic turns into an all-encompassing terror. “And the others? Where are the others?!” Panic is evident in his voice. Loki does not care. He has never felt such terror from Tony, not even when he fell victim to nightmares.

“They are too far. They will not reach him in time.” Loki is fully panicking now. He is preparing himself to teleport to Tony, to help him, when everything stops. Tony’s mind is still fuzzy, but a well of hope surfaces, distracting Loki for a split second. Loki can feel the exact second that Tony’s hope is obliterated.

A horrible, gripping agony slices through him. Loki screams.

He screams as Tony’s mind is ripped from him in the most excruciating way. The pain is like nothing Loki has every felt before. The place in his mind that had been previously occupied by Tony is left devastatingly empty and in tatters. Tears stream down Loki’s face; a broken sob escapes him even as the pain continues to ravage him. Pulsing white-hot waves of agony radiate from Loki’s skull to his spine, bringing him to his knees. It is too much, and Tony is gone.

Tony is gone.

Loki loses consciousness with the fleeting hope to never regain it again.

What seems like barely an hour later, Loki wakes up. He is curled in a tight ball on the floor. He has no desire to move, despite the aching in his muscles. Tingles of ghost pain run up and down his spine, a mere echo of what they were. Tears are still leaking from his eyes. They are the only sign of emotion on Loki’s face. His eyes are dead, with no hint of their usual light.

Loki pokes at the ragged hole Tony left in his mind. It sends a spasm of pain through his skull, so he pokes it again in some perverse desire to punish himself. _He should have been there._

He is shuddering now, from the pain, from the knowledge that Tony is gone. Loki curls in tighter on himself, focusing all his mental capabilities on the hole. He wants to _hurt._ He prepares to slam against it, to knock himself back into unconsciousness or perhaps something more permanent, but something brings itself to his attention.

Shock radiates through him. Shock and a dangerous amount of hope. Clinging tenaciously to the frayed edges of the hole is a sliver of brightness. It is nothing compared to the radiant brilliance of Tony’s mind, but it is a taste of it.

“He is still here,” Loki whispers hoarsely. Tony is hanging on by a thread, but he is still in this world. “Jarvis, where is he?”

“Sir has been taken to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s medical facilities.” There is a pause. “His condition is… more than critical.” There is worry in the AI’s voice. Loki has to fight down the panic that begins to arise. He will get to Tony and he will heal him. Loki cannot afford to fail him again, not when he has been given this chance.

Praying that Tony is alone in his room, Loki clings to the sliver of Tony’s mind and teleports, trusting the bond to lead him in the right direction.

****

Steve paces back and forth, anxiety and fear leaving him unable to sit still. Around him, his team is deadly silent. Bruce sits in a chair, staring at the wall with unseeing eyes. Clint is deathly pale and looks like he is on the verge of tears. Natasha is curled in a ball on a chair far from the others, her face hidden behind her knees and perfectly still. Thor is in varying degrees of shock, his normally exuberant face crumpled in distress. And Steve, well, he keeps pacing.

Medicine has come so far since the forties, S.H.I.E.L.D. even more so. He’s positive they can do something. Steve avoids looking at Natasha. She’s the one who found Tony, and she’s been silent ever since.

The door opens behind him. Steve spins around, praying for good news, and is immediately devastated. He’s very familiar with the look on the doctor’s face, he’s seen it often enough in the war. Steve’s face crumples. “How long?”

“A few hours left, at best. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Clint’s voice is wobbling. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”

The doctor sighs, defeat written in every line of her face. “There’s too much damage. It’s a miracle he’s stayed alive this long. The most we can do is make him comfortable.”

Steve swallows and looks away. This never gets any easier. “Can we… can we got sit with him?” He asks quietly. The doctor nods and motions for them to follow her. They make a somber train, trooping down the hall to watch their friends die. Natasha brings up the rear, still keeping her face hidden. The closer they get to Tony’s room, the more Steve begins to shake. No matter how many times this happens he’ll never be prepared for it.

They’re just outside of Tony’s room when red emergency lights turn on. There’s no siren, it is a medical facility after all, but the doctor immediately lunges forward, Steve and the others behind her. All except Bruce, who turns and sprints away. The Hulk will do no good in a medical facility. Through the frosted glass of Tony’s door, Steve can see a silhouette that, judging by the silent alarm and locked door, really shouldn’t be there.

****

Loki’s feet slam onto the floor in an unfamiliar room. He gasps and nearly falls over, throwing his arm to catch himself on a hospital bed. The quiet beeping of medical machinery fills the air. Loki takes a second to try and catch his breath. Teleporting without knowing the final location takes an enormous amount of energy, but Loki managed it. He turns, breath whooshing out in a great gust when he sees Tony’s prone body. Shock surges through him, and grief. There are tubes in his mouth and nose, no doubt assisting him to breathe. Underneath the thin hospital blanket, Tony looks horribly misshapen. Loki knows without removing the blanket that this is because his body was crushed. How his head had escaped with only bruising is a mystery to Loki. He hates to look at it, to see Tony like this.

Loki holds up his arm, hand already turning blue in preparation to use the bond-magic he discovered, when the door bursts open behind him. Loki hears several gasps and outraged shouts. He hears weapons being drawn. He feels Tony slipping farther away from him. Loki throws up a barrier of raw power, borrowing from the machines around him. He barely pauses before he gently cups Tony’s face with his blue hand.

The healing magic surges out in a rush, the force of it bringing Loki to his knees. Pure will alone is what is keeping his hand in contact with Tony’s face. The damage to Tony’s body is extensive, as is the damage to his mind. Loki’s power reserves are fading as he uses everything he has to give on Tony. His body turns blue. That power is given to Tony as well, but it is still not enough. The barrier is starting to dissipate. Midgardian technology cannot support that kind of energy output for long. Loki does not have the power to reimburse it, so he leaves it be. The bruises are fading from Tony’s face. Surely the idiots will leave him be, at least until Tony is well.

Sudden inspiration strikes, and so Loki puts his hand on the arc reactor, drawing energy from it to pour into Tony. This particular piece of Midgardian technology is more powerful than a star. Tony begins to glow a soft blue. Loki feels the first stirrings of awareness in his mind. Before Tony is even fully aware, Loki feels his skin turn to his usual look, the power being pushed his way from Tony. Relief pumps through him, painful in its intensity. Loki begins to cry again, uncaring of their audience. Tony’s presence is strengthening in his mind. A few seconds more and he will awaken.

Dimly, Loki is aware of a scuffle just outside his area of concentration. It is of no importance to him. Monitors around Tony flare to life, beeping enthusiastically. Tony’s eyes shoot open and he gasps, his hands immediately coming up to yank tubes away from his face. Loki’s arm falls limply, exhaustion seeping into his bones as he kneels slumped over on Tony’s bed. Wide brown eyes find Loki’s green ones, and a hand reaches down to tangle with his. Tony smiles, in relief, in disbelief, in awe. A tear runs down his face. “I missed you, Lo.” Loki lets out a wretched sob and buries his face in the blankets next to Tony.

****

Relief and lingering fear cycle through their bond. Tony pulls Loki’s mind close, wanting to never be parted from it again. Shaking hands stroke Loki’s head and try to soothe equally shaking shoulders. This was too close a call.

“Hey, Lo, we’re good. I’m safe, you saved me. We’re good, we’re okay,” Tony says, voice trembling as shock sets in. _He had died._

“You promised,” Loki mumbles. “You promised me you would stay safe.” He lifts his head to glare at Tony. The effect is somewhat ruined by his tear-stained face and trembling lip. “I should kill you for putting me through this.”

Tony grasps Loki’s hand. “I’m sorry, Lo. I’m so sorry.” The apologies fall from his lips, over and over again. It is something he’s never done, apologize for doing his job. But then, Tony had almost been lost to Loki forever. Loki grips his hand harder, still shaking.

With all his attention focused on Loki, Tony doesn’t immediately notice his friends’ presence in the room, not until Natasha steps forward and clears her throat gently.


	15. ‘Cause I Won’t Give Up Without a Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, my lovelies! Here we are again, a new chapter! This is actually the second last chapter, I'm pretty sure. So the next update will be the end. Hope you enjoy today's update!

Tony tenses. The traitor heart monitor beeps faster, betraying his anxiety to the others. His hand stays firm on Loki’s. “Lo,” he says tensely, “I think you should get up.” They should probably face this together.

“I cannot,” is the mumbled reply. Tony can feel Loki’s exhaustion leaking through their bond, even though the god is trying to conceal it. “Whatever happens, I will have to face it from here.” He speaks quietly so only Tony can hear him. Tony is surprised to find that Loki doesn’t exactly care what happens to him next. He is too tired to fight, he did what he came here to do. A sort of ‘let what happens happen’ feeling is filtering through their bond. Tony doesn’t exactly approve.

Thor steps forward, distrust heavy on his face. “Loki, step away from the Man of Iron.”

“I will not.” Loki’s voice is clear for the others, but Tony can hear the strain in it.

“Thor, it’s fine.” Tony attempts to reassure the thunderer. Loki’s refusal and Tony’s support of it seem to be enough to convince Thor. He’s always had a soft spot for Loki. He steps back, though he does keep a watchful eye on the pair, his hand resting on Mjölnir. The others don’t look too convinced, and the outrage on most of their faces make Tony begin to worry. “Seriously, guys, calm down and let me explain. There’s no threat here.”

“No threat?” Clint asks, his anger palpable. “Mind telling me what the fuck is going on? Because I see a pretty big threat here.” His fingers twitch for a weapon that isn’t there. Tony swallows his smart-ass retort, thankful for whatever sort of hospital security that took Clint’s weapons away. This isn’t exactly how he had planned on telling his friends about Loki—truth be told he wasn’t really planning anything—but the secret is out and Tony needs to do this right. He decides on absolute truth.

“Loki has been staying with me since the day we heard about his escape.” Natasha nods quietly to herself. Tony has a feeling she’s crossing points off of a mental checklist. Otherwise, she doesn’t look too surprised.

“You’ve been hiding that bastard under our noses!?” Clint is furious, but it’s the hint of betrayal in his eyes that burns Tony.

Nonetheless, he nods his agreement. “I have. And before any of you can think to ask, no, I’m not under any sort of mind control. I made the decision myself.”

Clint looks apoplectic and he opens his mouth—probably to yell—but Steve brushes him aside. “Why?”

Tony barely has to think about his answer. “Because I was looking in a mirror. Because Loki has suffered enough. Somebody had to catch him. I decided to be that person.” Loki is staring at Tony with wide eyes. Tony’s never told him why he decided to help him in the first place. In all honesty, Tony never really knew why either, but recent events have left him with a sort of clarity.

“He’s suffered enough?” Clint echoes incredulously. “He suffered? That crazy fuck killed over five thousand people!”

“And who are we comparing him to, huh Barton? My millions? Your hundreds? We’ve got blood all over our hands,” Tony growls. “We’re no better than him.”

“You had a duty to your team!” Clint persists. “You should’ve brought him in! Or told us at least!”

“And what would that have changed, Barton?” Loki asks, finally adding himself to the conversation.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me!” Clint snarls.

“You know better than to think I will sit quietly while others decide my fate.” He’s lying, Tony knows that that’s exactly what Loki was planning on doing. But Clint had been directing his anger at Tony. Loki does not like that. His words make Clint bristle, and before anyone can stop him, he lunges forward and punches Loki in the face. He would’ve punched him a second time, probably a third time too, if not for Tony.

Shock flies across even Natasha’s face when Tony cries out in pain and in shock, hands flying up to unerringly press against the same spot on his face that Clint had punched on Loki’s. They’ve shared sensations before, but only voluntarily. Tony knows that this only happened because they’re both weak and because their minds are currently extremely closely entwined. Loki knows this too, but that doesn’t stop guilt from building up and seeping across their link. Tony pushes it aside and replaces it with his acceptance and forgiveness. He makes it clear that it is not Loki’s fault. Gratitude then comes across, but Loki still makes sure to reach up and press a carefully concealed blue finger against Tony’s face, soothing away the hurt.

Another cleared throat brings Tony’s attention back to the room. Steve looks like he’s having trouble processing the situation, even as a slight blush dusts his face after witnessing the intimacy between Tony and Loki, even though they only shared a touch. He’s seen that expression before, though, but it was on a different face. Never let it be said that Steven Rogers is not a smart man. “Liam?” He asks weakly. Neither Tony nor Loki need him to elaborate. They both nod. Steve exhales and runs his hand through his hair, the situation taking on a new light.

Clint’s eyes bug out of his head. “ _You’re fucking him?_ ”

Tony decides he’s had enough. He just died, for fuck’s sake. “You know what? I’m done with your shit, Barton.” He throws off his blankets and stands, grateful that he’s still wearing pants. He hadn’t bothered to check.

Clint’s eyes go wide and worry momentarily takes over his features. His hands hover in front of him, either to push Tony back into bed or help him should he need it. “Don’t get up—” he starts to protest but Tony cuts him off.

“I am completely fine, Clint. I am fine, I have been fine since Loki showed up.” It’s obvious that Tony is not referring to Loki showing up at the hospital.

“He needs to be punished for his crimes.”

“Trust me when I say that Loki has been punished enough.” Thor clenching his jaw and glaring at the floor is support enough for Tony’s statement.

But Clint is a stubborn bastard. “Trust you, huh?” And that’s the root of the problem.

Tony flinches. “Yeah, I get that trust isn’t at the front of your mind. Bad word choice on my part.”

“I can’t believe you! You’ve finally gone loopy, helping out the enemy!”

“Seriously? That’s pretty hypocritical coming from you.”

Clint knows exactly what he’s referring to. “Yeah, but that was Natasha not some homicidal lunatic.”

Natasha raises her eyebrow. “You didn’t know that.”

Clint turns to her. “You are being way too calm about this.”

She shrugs. “I had my suspicions.” That’s as good as saying she knew.

“Why didn’t you do anything?”

“I trust Tony not to put any of us in danger.”

“Well that’s exactly what he went and did!”

“Are you dead?” She asks. “In fact, is anyone dead?” Clint wisely doesn’t say anything to that.

Tony takes a deep breath and tries again. “Clint, I’m sorry I lied, but it was necessary. I know what he did to you, but you have to believe me when I say that there is no possible way to punish him further. I’m not asking you to guys to be best buddies and braid each other’s hair; I just need you not to kill each other.”

Clint’s eyes flick over to Loki, who is still collapsed on the floor. A faint tremor is evident in the god’s limbs, though everyone can see he’s trying to hide it. “I really fucking hate you.”

Loki inclines his head. “I would expect nothing less. I took no pleasure from touching your mind, but the act was still committed. I do not even expect you to entertain the notion of forgiving me. I would think you an idiot if you did.”

Clint looks about ready to commit murder. “So what do you suggest?” His voice is more than mocking.

Loki lowers his eyes. “Leave me be,” he asks quietly. “You cannot forgive, I understand. But it is done, there is nothing either of us can do to reverse is. I have a life to live, as do you. Please, leave me be.”

“And if I don’t feel like it?”

“Then I offer you something. A better target to which you can direct your rage.”

“What target?”

Loki smiles coldly. “I offer you the creature who sent me here.”

Clint looks unconvinced. “Somebody gave you orders?”

“I was but a pawn in this creature’s hands. Do not even try to contradict me, you have felt his presence in my mind.”

Clint pales dramatically. “I thought that was all you.”

“No creature can have more than one being contained within their mind.”

“I thought you were just crazy.”

“I will not deny that claim, but my level of sanity will not produce two minds. It is impossible. Do you take what I offer you?”

Clint stares down Loki carefully. Then, to almost everyone’s surprise, he nods. “Yeah, fine. I can’t hurt you without hurting Tony, apparently, so fine. I still hate you though.” He holds out his hand, all business, obviously intending to shake and seal the deal.

Loki tiredly eyes the offered limb. “I regret to inform you that I cannot move my arm at the moment.”

This is news to Tony. “Shit, Lo, sorry. How much energy did you use?” He slides to Loki’s side, concerned.

“Enough, I suppose.” Tony snorts at Loki’s unhelpfully vague answer. Too much, then.

“Loki, Heimdall will have seen you by now, father no doubt knows of your location.” Thor steps forward, his intense eyes meeting Loki’s carefully blank ones. “They will summon me back, you know this.” He takes a deep breath. “You have done well here. Come with me, explain yourself to father. He will listen to reason, especially if you mention this creature.”

“Reason?” Loki’s voice is deathly quiet. Tony tightens his grip on him. “Has reason ever worked with Odin in the past? Do you think he does not know all that I was able to tell him of that creature? You know what awaits me on Asgard, just as you know what I escaped from. To return would be suicide.” Loki lowers his voice here, so only Tony and Thor can hear him. “And I will not risk Tony like that. He experiences what I feel, even more so if I am weak. A mortal cannot withstand a god’s punishment.” Tony feels a bit indignant at that, but he knows Loki is right. Thor’s face goes hard, but he nods stiffly. He looks seriously pissed at the asshole he calls father.

“Tony,” Steve starts gently, “I’m not really comfortable with this. I mean… it’s _Loki._ We can’t trust him.”

“No, you certainly can’t,” Tony agrees. “But _I_ can, and you can trust me.”

“That’s shaky at best, Tony. Maybe we should let S.H.I.E.L.D. take him into custody for a bit. They can question him, and if he cooperated, we can get him back and work from there.”

It’s sensible, and Steve is honestly trying here, but Tony does not like that plan. “No.”

“Tony—”

“Steve, no. You know damn well how S.H.I.E.L.D. ‘questions’ their captives.”

Steve shakes his head vehemently. “They wouldn’t do that, not with this. Especially if we tell them about the shared feelings thing.”

“Oh yes they fucking would, especially if we tell them about the shared feelings thing. You think they don’t want to know things about me? You think they wouldn’t use that to get to him? Nobody from S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to touch him.”

Steve sighs and tries again. “Tony, he’d be gone maybe a couple of days, and you know your lawyers can draw up everything you need to… to keep him safe.”

“Assuming S.H.I.E.L.D. will bow down to a piece of paper?” Steve stays quiet, knows just as well as Tony that lawyers have never really stopped S.H.I.E.L.D. before. “I need him beside me, Steve. S.H.I.E.L.D. will put a stop to that. Can’t you just trust my word?” Steve still looks hesitant, and so Tony sighs. “Steve.” The super-soldier meets his eyes, and Tony lets every single one of his masks drop. He knows his expression is raw and unguarded, and still very, very afraid. Steve’s mouth falls open. Tony hates exposing himself like this, but he needs Steve to understand. “He makes me happy.” Tony says the words so quietly that he knows only the gods and Steve can hear him. Loki already knows what he means to Tony, Thor is an unavoidable sacrifice who pretends he doesn’t hear.

Steve’s eyes slide closed and he takes a deep breath. When they open again, he turns to Loki. “You have one chance. For Tony’s sake, you have one chance.”

Loki inclines his head regally. “Thank you.” Tony sags in relief, leaning against Loki for a bit. Loki’s barely perceptible sigh is more than enough to speak of his own relief, the feeling bleeding through their connection only enhancing it.

Then Tony remembers that Loki is currently immobile, so he tries to get Loki up onto the bed. The god is just as heavy as the first time Tony tried to lift him, but he has no suit to help him this time. Tony struggles for a bit until Steve takes pity on him, hesitatingly reaching out to help settle Loki on the bed. That done, Tony looks around the room, finally taking it in and noticing a woman in a white lab coat. His eyes narrow. “Who are you?”

“I am your doctor. Mr. Stark, I need you to sit down so we can run some tests.”

“She’s lying,” Loki helpfully supplies. He examines her closely. The doctor fidgets, trying to move her hand behind her back. “She’s set off some sort of device. I assume it is connected to Director Fury.”

Thor scowls. “Then we must leave.”

“Fury?” Tony looks confused. “Shit, Steve! Are we in a S.H.I.E.L.D. compound?”

Steve nods guiltily. “Yeah…”

“Dammit! You know I hate coming here!”

“You were dying, you weren’t going to wake up! This was the only place I knew you’d get the best medical care!”

“Oh sure, I don’t doubt that. I’m sure they had a ball scanning my reactor so they could make their own. Probably planned on taking this one when I died too.”

Steve pales. “They wouldn’t.” Tony sighs in exasperation, because Steve really needs to stop being so trusting in the government.

Natasha steps forward. “They would, but I would’ve stolen it back. Can we focus on the situation at hand?” Steve nods, still looking upset. “Great. Loki, can you put on a disguise?” Loki’s form shimmers and resolves into Liam. Natasha nods her approval. Tony snorts when he hears Clint muttering. The archer sounds reluctantly impressed. Natasha beckons to Thor. “Pick him up, let’s get out of here. Happy’s waiting.”

Loki makes an indignant noise at _Thor_ having to pick him up of all people. Tony makes his own noise. “How is Happy waiting?”

Natasha shrugs. “I called him when the bag of cats showed up.” She turns to leave.

Tony falls in step beside her, filled with gratitude. “Thanks, Tasha. For everything.” His eyes narrow. “Even if I don’t know why you’re doing it.” Natasha’s lips twitch and Tony nearly trips. Unless he’s gone crazy, that was an honest to god smile. Today is going down in the history books.

“I like him, he’s interesting,” she answers blithely. Tony isn’t convinced. She’s leaving something out. But knowing Natasha, that’s the best answer he’s going to get, and he’s thankful he even got it. He shakes his head and lets the matter drop. This, then, is when Natasha stops and hugs Tony. It’s brief, there and gone in a flash before Tony can even register what’s happening. The only person Natasha’s ever hugged was Steve, and the poor guy had really needed it at the time. So of course, Tony is flabbergasted. “I’m glad you’re alive,” she says simply. She resumes walking, leaving Tony to trail along behind with Thor and Loki. Loki is smirking.

“That’s not a very Liam-like expression, Lo.”

The smirk broadens. “You look as if you have just received the shock of your life.”

“I have.”

Loki’s expression softens. “You are graced with good friends, Tony.”

Tony reaches out and takes Loki’s hand, truly not giving a shit about Thor’s proximity. “I’ve got you to thank for that.” In a really weird sort of way. That startles a laugh out of Loki, one of the whole-hearted ones that Tony loves. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony notices Steve start to smile as well, and Thor is doing his best not to start beaming. Natasha and Clint are ahead of them, so Tony can’t see their faces, but Steve and Thor are proof enough for one of Tony’s theories: it is impossible not to smile in the face of Loki’s happiness.

Natasha and Clint pull away ahead of the group, disappearing down the corridor. For a bit, Tony wonders why, but by the time they make it out to the car—suspiciously easy—Tony figures he has a clue about what the assassins were doing.

Everyone loads into the car. Tony lets them go ahead of them, hiding a smirk at Loki’s grimace when the god realizes his intentions. Happy takes a moment to just grasp Tony’s arm, conveying his relief through the touch. He then gets in the driver’s seat, leaving Tony standing alone with Clint. There’s an awkward pause between them. Tony is completely out of his depth, unsure what to do, but Clint is his friend, dammit, he’s going to have to try.

Clint is frowning. “If you ever pull something like this again, I’ll kill you.” He jerks his head toward the car. “And you better let him know that I won’t hesitate to kill him either.” Tony nods, staring at the ground. He decides that the best course of action is to stay silent for now and try approaching the archer again later. A shaky breath from Clint makes him raise his eyes back to his friend. Clint runs his hand through his hair, looking rueful. “Just to be clear, though, I don’t hate you Tony, and I am so happy you’re alive. I can play nice with that lunatic, but don’t expect me to be pleasant to him.”

Tony lets out a relieved sigh. “I can live with that. Jesus, Barton, I thought you were going to disown me or something.”

Clint snorts. “As if, asshole.” He claps a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I need you to make me fancy shit and pay my bills and stuff.”

“Oh my god, am I being used?” Tony affects a fake wounded expression. “I thought we had something _special,_ Barton.”

“Ah jeez, you didn’t know? And now I find out you’re fucking somebody else…” Tony really has to admire Clint’s attempts to make jokes about the situation. He really appreciates the effort.

“Well, I wouldn’t say _I’m_ the one doing the fucking, per se…”

Clint goes from laughter to nausea in point three seconds flat. “I didn’t need to know that. I _really_ did not need to know that.” Tony grins, and Clint shoves at him. “You’re lucky you just mostly died and Nat told me not to hit you!” Tony just laughs and climbs into the car. Clint decides that the back isn’t the best place for him and climbs in with Happy up front. Ten seconds of being in the car with everyone else makes Tony wish he’d made the same decision.

Despite the temporary truce they’d reached in the hospital, tensions in the car are running high. Loki must have wiggled away from Thor at the first opportunity, and is now sullenly sitting one seat away, pressed up against the window. Steve has a sort of pinched expression. It looks like he is trying to give Loki the benefit of the doubt but failing miserably. Tony doesn’t blame the poor guy. Thor is alternating between concerned yet hopeful glances at Loki and narrow eyed _we are going to have a talk_ expressions at Tony. Tony is really not looking forward to that. The only one who looks comfortable is Natasha. She’s just sitting quietly, studying Loki with casual indifference. This is normal behavior for her, so Tony is not too concerned.

A pleading feeling from Loki compels Tony to take the seat between the two gods, rather than the much more preferable seat next to Steve. Clint made Happy raise the privacy partition between the driver’s seat and the passengers, so the remaining Avengers plus Loki exist in a bubble of silence. The silence is… uncomfortable, to say the least.

Staying true to his usual behavior, Tony is the first to break it. “So where’s Bruce?”

“He left when the alarm was raised. A hospital is no place for the Hulk to go crazy. He’d have gone back to the tower to wait for news,” Steve supplies helpfully.

“Okay, we should probably call ahead then…” Tony says hesitantly, looking at Natasha for confirmation. She nods. “Great. Jarvis?” Because of course he’s got his AI installed in the car. He’s Tony goddamn Stark and he’ll do what he wants.

“Sir?”

“Has Bruce arrived back at the tower?”

“He has, sir. Would you like me to patch through a call? And please allow me to express my relief at your survival.”

Tony is touched. “Please and thank you.”

A couple seconds pass, and then Bruce’s incredulous voice comes through. “Tony?” His voice wobbles a little bit on the last syllable.

"Hey, yeah, Bruce. It's me."

“ _Tony._ ” There is so much relief in his voice. “How did you get out of that one? The doctor said you only had hours. There was an intruder in your room or something. Are you okay?” He asks the last question oddly, as if he suddenly expects this to be a call from Tony’s deathbed.

Tony feels really shitty for putting everyone through this, even though it wasn’t technically his fault. “I’m fine, Bruce. Healthier than ever, actually. We’re in the car on the way home.”

“ _How?_ ”

“I’ll explain everything when we get back, I promise. As for the intruder… well… we have Loki with us.”

“Loki? He showed up? Why doesn’t S.H.I.E.L.D. have him in custody yet?”

“Uh, he’s not a prisoner, he sort of lives with me and I sort of knew where he was the whole time everyone thought he was missing…” Both of Loki’s eyebrows are raised, and he’s giving Tony a version of the _you cannot be serious_ expression. Tony kind of shrugs desperately at him, because honestly, what the fuck is he supposed to say? That’s pretty much what happened. Now Loki just looks amused. ‘ _Sort of?’_ he mouths the words. Tony shrugs again.

“ _Tony,_ ” Bruce’s voice is angry now. “Explain. Immediately.”

“Okay, so I’ve sort of been hiding Loki on my floor and I’m okay now because he saved my life and I need you not to kill him when we get back because you might possibly maybe definitely destroy my mind if you do.” _Also I love him_ , he tacks on silently. He doesn’t share that with everyone, though, because that is way too private. The words all came out in a rush, and they are met by silence. Everyone except Loki is staring at him, and Bruce says nothing.

Finally, after an excruciatingly long pause, Tony hears an inhaled breath. “Destroy your mind? Explain more.”

Tony wracks his brains to try and find some sort of way he can briefly explain what he shares with Loki. “Okay, so remember when I made you have a Star Trek marathon with me?”

“Vividly.”

“Remember when I went off about Vulcan bonds?”

A sharp intake of breath. “You can’t be serious. With Loki?”

“Yeah, sort of. The mechanics of it are different but the concept’s the same.”

“How?”

“No idea, we haven’t exactly gotten to that yet.”

More silence, and then, “Okay. Okay, I won’t kill him, and I won’t let the other guy out so long as Loki behaves himself. But you are going to explain this in much more detail when you get here, and you are both going to submit to every medical scan I can think of.”

Tony winces, but he knows there’s no way he’s getting out of it. “Okay. We’ll be back soon.”

“Thanks for the warning call.” A pause. “I’m glad you’re okay.” There’s a beep as Bruce disconnects the call.

“What’s a Vulcan?” Steve asks, mirroring Thor’s lost expression.

Tony waves his hand vaguely, they haven’t gotten to Star Trek yet. “A type of fictional alien. I’ll explain when everyone’s together.”

Steve nods and the silence comes back.

Tony’s hand finds one of Loki’s and begins absently tracing patterns on it. He’s never been someone whose hands can be still for long, and Loki relaxes from the contact. He probably looks no different to everyone else, but Tony can tell. When he looks up from their hands near the end of the ride, he catches Natasha turning away, the teeniest smile on her face, and is suddenly very scared. She is enjoying this way too much. She’s probably already planned their wedding, and that is terrifying to think about.


	16. This is Gospel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!! Last chapter, here we go!

When they finally get back to the tower, Loki is able to get out of the car under his own steam, though he’s leaning heavily on Tony. It’s a bit of a struggle, but Tony thinks it is much better than having Thor or Steve help Loki. Tony really does not want to stop touching Loki right now, and he’s not too keen on anybody else touching him anymore either. The feeling is strangely possessive, but Tony dismisses it as a side effect of the bond.

By some strange, unspoken agreement, everyone piles into the elevator and sets course for Tony’s floor. They stop on Bruce’s to pick him up, as the security protocols are still in place and they can really only get up with Tony, and adding one more person to the horribly tense atmosphere.

Tony and Loki step out first, heading for the new, much more comfortable, couch they’d bought a few days previous, bypassing the stupid designer one they can’t really bring themselves to get rid of. Tony shakes his head when he realizes that he’s been thinking of most things as something ‘they’ did. As if any choices regarding their (there it is again) living space has to be decided between the two of them. Jesus, just this morning he was freaking out about permanence but they’ve practically already settled into that already. Jesus, _just this morning!_ Yep, today is going down in the history books.

Once he has Loki settled on the couch, Tony turns back to his friends. They’re standing just outside of the elevator, staring around the room in shock. Tony’s confused for a second, but then remembers that none of them have been up here since the whole thing began. Well, Steve has but that was before Loki’s many shopping sprees and their apparent move towards domestic permanence. Tony’s still kicking himself for not realizing earlier.

Spread out among the extremely modern décor is bits and pieces of antique furniture that should probably clash, but don’t. Instead, they add a sort of balanced harmony, complimenting the rather austere style that Tony favors without making it look forced or cluttered. Only an idiot would miss the sheer amount of books spread everywhere. They’re stacked on shelves, left lying on tables, there’s a couple on the bar counter, and even one left lying open on the couch. Bits of tech are lying around too, as Tony had started to bring more of his small projects upstairs, preferring to work in the comfort of their space.

Tucked away on one side is their bar-turned-kitchen, which is now unmistakably a kitchen. The only thing missing is an oven, but they always order in for dinner anyways, so Tony never bothered to get one. Two mugs sit on the counter, one half-empty, next to a small bowl of fruit. It’s all frighteningly domestic. It’s more than obvious that two people are living here, and it’s even more obvious how close they are. There are no boundary lines, no such thing as personal space. No need for it. Everything is jumbled together in a way that speaks of perfect unity; complimentary yet completely unique personalities working seamlessly together. Even when Tony was living with Pepper, he’d never achieved something like this. Pepper probably wouldn’t have allowed it.

After he finishes taking in the space, Steve nods to himself. His expression is much less pinched as he settles himself on a stool at the bar. Bruce takes the seat next to him, looking resigned. Natasha joins Loki on the good couch, leaving Thor and Clint to the stupid designer one. It takes a while for Thor to sit, though. He’s still staring around, a sort of nostalgic smile on his face when he notices something that is obviously Loki’s. By the time he does sit down, he looks happy in a bittersweet kind of way. Tony does his best to ignore how uncomfortable it makes Loki.

Done with his staring, Steve makes an impatient gesture. “Explain. And no Star Trek references.”

Tony sighs, thoroughly put out. “It’s going to be boring now.”

“Don’t care.”

Tony sighs again but doesn’t argue. He sits down next to Loki and launches into a carefully edited explanation. He barely mentions the bond, mostly because he has no clue on how to even begin explaining it without the use of various pop culture references. It’s one of the first times his team listens in complete silence from start to finish. He assumes it’s because they’re too preoccupied with what he’s saying to interrupt him. Tony doesn’t mention how he and Loki went from cautious acquaintances to whatever they are now, and he hopes his friends don’t ask. Tony doesn’t really want to explain that Loki had stopped him from destroying his projects in a fit of anger that somehow happened to end with them in bed together. “I wanted to give him a chance,” Tony finishes lamely. “The same chance any of us got.”

Thor turns to Loki. “And your choice?”

A long pause follows where Loki stares Thor down. Finally, he turns to the others in the room. “I am not your enemy,” he states simply. Tony thinks it’s a pretty ingenious answer. Loki doesn’t try and say he’s reformed and seen the errors of his ways, because he hasn’t. There is no new perspective, no sudden enlightenment, nothing. In all honesty, Loki’s goals have simply changed.

Natasha nods. “I’ll take it.”

Bruce just kind of rubs his hand over his face. “Alright, we’re all insane,” he sighs. “Since you’re not our enemy, explain this bond-thing. Tony obviously doesn’t know as much as he wants to.”

“There are some things that I would prefer only Tony knows, but I will answer any question you pose to the best of my ability.”

Bruce makes a face, obviously not pleased. Asking questions is really only useful when you know roughly what you’re asking about. “Okay, so I’ll start with the basics. Tony is under the impression that if you die he’ll go crazy.”

“That is not… incorrect.”

“Elaborate, please.”

“Assuming he survives the ordeal, there is a distinct possibility that his mind will shatter, depending on how I die. He would not escape my death unscathed, in any event.”

“And this… works both ways?”

“It does.”

Tony hisses in a shocked breath. “Holy shit, are you serious?” Loki nods and Tony pales. “So that was actually you screaming in my head?” He asks weakly, audience forgotten. Loki nods. “You felt all of that?” Tony’s voice is no more than a whisper. Loki nods again. “God, Lo, I am so sorry, I should’ve—”

“Stop, Tony. There is nothing you could have done.” Tony wants to argue further, to fully say how sorry he is, to hold Loki, to kiss him, _something,_ but Loki casually nudges him, reminding him of their audience, so Tony resigns himself to shakily clutching Loki’s hand.

Bruce clears his throat, shifting slightly. “Did you force this bond on Tony?”

“No. It is not possible to force a bond.” A small grin plays across Loki’s lips. “I had tried to avoid it, actually, but someone could not be convinced to leave it be.”

A little smile escapes Bruce as well. He knows how stubborn Tony can be. Despite his sudden good feeling, however, he continues his questioning. “Can you mess around in Tony’s head?”

“Not that I know of.” Bruce seems dissatisfied with the answer but lets it be. His questions are extremely brief, more so than Tony thought they’d be. A quick glance around the room tells him why. Now that the situation finally seems to be winding down and they’re mostly convinced about Tony’s safety, his friends look like they want to leave, probably to give Tony and Loki the time alone they sorely need.

“What kind of side effects are likely to occur?”

“Nothing negative that I know of, besides what we’ve already spoken about and what you’ve already seen.”

“And the positives?”

“Are something that I would like to keep between Tony and myself.”

Bruce nods, resigned. “Alright, I’m done for now. I want you both in my lab tomorrow, though.” He gets two nods in response.

Conversation kind of dies awkwardly for a second, and then Steve is standing up even more awkwardly. “Well, uh, you guys are probably tired. We should probably go.” He makes an awkward gesture towards the elevator. Clint doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s up and halfway towards the elevator before the others can blink. Thor begins to rise slowly, obviously reluctant to leave Loki alone. Natasha goes to him and starts to pull him away. Tony is starting to relax, but before Bruce can get up, the elevator doors ping open and Fury steps through, gun out and pointing at Loki.

Everyone tenses. Tony is the first to react. “How the fuck did you get into my tower?”

Fury glares. “New question, why the fuck is this crazy-ass fucker in your tower and not in a S.H.I.E.L.D. containment facility? Or better yet, in a cell on Asgard?”

Loki grins, all traces of weakness gone. “How rude, director, to barge into someone’s home uninvited and brandishing weapons. Do try and act civilized.”

Fury doesn’t even twitch. “Hill, get in here,” he calls, never taking his eyes off Loki. Agent Hill steps through the still open elevator doors.

“Sir?”

“Please assist agents Barton and Romanov in escorting Loki out. Fuckers still down from whatever he did in the hospital.” Loki’s jaw twitches. Tony sneaks a glance at Natasha, but she hasn’t even bothered to move. Neither has Clint, thankfully. Agent Hill pauses, taking in the atmosphere in the room, before she too decides not to move, watching the director carefully. She can’t take Loki alone, after all. Fury is not happy. “Why the fuck is nobody moving? Barton, Romanov, that was an order.”

Natasha’s eyebrow rises, and then she shrugs. She walks over to Loki and Tony’s couch and plunks her ass down right next to Loki, where she stays. Fury looks apoplectic. Still, he knows better than to challenge Natasha directly, so he turns to Steve. “Rogers, what the fuck is wrong with your team?”

“Nothing, sir.” Ah, Steve’s pulled out his ‘golden boy’ voice. This should be amusing.

“Nothing? Then do you want to explain why you’re having a fucking powwow with Loki? I gave an order, Rogers.”

“Sir, after the battle of New York you decided that the Avengers would operate independent of S.H.I.E.L.D. command structures, only cooperating for civilian evacuations, clean up, and arrests.” Steve smiles. “With all due respect, sir, you’re orders don’t mean shit.” And wow, you could hear a pin drop in the silence that explodes from Steve’s words. Tony’s grinning madly because _Steve swore_ , but Fury looks less than impressed.

In fact, he looks downright homicidal. “Fine, don’t help. But you will all step aside and allow Hill to arrest Loki,” Agent Hill doesn’t look happy about that; Fury’s gun shifts slightly, finding a new target, “or I will shoot Stark.”

The entire room goes still. Rage pours off Loki, icy and focused. It echoes back from Tony. He is tired of dying.

“Go ahead,” Tony quips. He leans back in his seat, his vice-grip on Loki’s hand the only thing betraying his anxiety. “Shoot me, Nicky.”

“Tony…” Steve says warningly.

Tony waves his hand dismissively in Steve’s direction. “Go on,” he goads Fury. “Pull the trigger.” Tony stands, then, and steps toward Fury. “But know this: as soon as that gun fires, every penny of funding you get from me will stop. Every _piece_ of Stark technology S.H.I.E.L.D. has will start to work against you. And believe me, I can do that. Pull that trigger, Nick, but remember that even dead I can and will destroy you.”

Fury’s eye narrows. “You’re bluffing. Nobody can do that.”

“I am Tony fucking Stark. I do what I want.” A feral grin spreads across his face. “Jarvis, initiate contingency protocol eight point six two.”

“Initiated, sir. The virus will activate upon your death or command.” Fury’s eye widens, because a virus can only activate if it’s already been installed.

Loki grins and leans back in a relaxed way. “Why wait?” He asks innocently. “The director is being quite rude. Perhaps you should give him a… demonstration of your abilities?”

“Hmm… that’s actually pretty tempting. I like how you think, Lo. Jarvis—”

“There’s no need for that.” A third person steps in from the elevator. Tony’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. He hears twin gasps of shock from the assassin duo. Steve’s mouth drops open. A strange noise comes from Thor. Agent Phil Coulson pauses, just inside the room, an awkward smile on his face. The only person who doesn’t look shocked is Loki. “I probably should’ve done this earlier, but I had direct orders not to.”

Fury looks pissed. “You had direct orders to stay in the car.”

Coulson shrugs. “I had to go to the bathroom, but the only one I remember is up here.” There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I didn’t know everyone would be here.” _He did, he totally did_ , Tony thinks distractedly.

“Uh, this may sound rude,” Steve begin awkwardly, “but how are you not dead?” He sounds much more composed than Tony ever would have managed, but then Steve wasn’t really friends with Coulson. Tony was, sort of. Coulson was—is—one of the few people Tony trusts.

“Oh I was. For about eight seconds. I’ve got a really awesome scar now.”

Suddenly Clint is giggling. It’s a hysterical sound. He slides down the wall he’d been leaning against until he’s sitting on his haunches. “That’s two people back from the dead today. This is my life now.”

Coulson frowns, ignoring Clint’s hysteria. “Who else died?” Tony raises his hand like a kid in grade school, still too shocked to react properly. Coulson turns to Fury. “You didn’t tell me that, sir.”

“You didn’t need to know.”

Loki laughs. “Didn’t need to know? My, my, director, did you actually let them think he was dead?” He sounds extremely amused, like everything is suddenly going his way. For a fleeting second, Tony is pissed. Loki _knew_ Coulson was alive, he fucking knew it, and he _never said anything._

But that second passes as Tony realizes he’s never actually mentioned Coulson to Loki anyways. So he directs his anger to the person who deserves it: good old Nick Fury. “You fucking lied to us.”

“It was necessary.”

Tony’s expression falls into one of cold rage, an expression no person has seen and survived. “I don’t give a shit. Get out of my tower, or I won’t wait until you kill me.” For a moment, his threat hangs in the air. Fury stubbornly keeps his gun raised, no doubt hoping Tony is bluffing. He isn’t, and Fury better get that through his thick skull. His mere presence is tempting Tony to commit murder. Natasha, sitting ramrod straight next to Tony, looks about the same as he feels. Thunder sounds from outside, and yup, Thor’s pissed too.

Still, Fury doesn’t move, and so it is left to Bruce to end this little stalemate. “Leave now,” he says in a voice that should sound calm but really, _really_ isn’t. Loki flinches, enough that Fury notices. The flinch itself is a lie, though Bruce really is making Loki nervous.

The flinch, though obviously fake to Tony, is real enough for everyone else, and it is the flinch that finally makes Fury lower his gun. “Hill, Coulson,” he calls, and flicks his head towards the elevator.

“Coulson stays,” Natasha orders calmly. Fury doesn’t argue, can’t argue.

He follows Agent Hill to the elevator. “That fucker has to pay for his crimes. You can’t think this is going to sit well with anyone, especially with your people,” Fury says, directing his words at Thor.

The thunderer only tightens his hands into fists. “Loki’s debts have been paid. Asgard stands by this decision, as do I.”

Fury straightens, his face scrunching into even more of a frown. “So be it.” The doors slide closed, cutting off his face from view.

“Well that was ominous,” Loki comments dryly before turning to Thor. “And I do believe you told a lie.”

Thor shrugs. “I represent Asgard here. Asgard’s only source of information from here is myself. You have been hiding here successfully, so I assume Heimdall cannot see you. I believe you have paid enough. Too much, perhaps.”

Loki inclines his head. “You have my thanks.” There is no hint of sarcasm in Loki’s words, but no warmth either. Still, there’s also a distinct lack of hatred or anger, so that’s a definite plus.

An awkward lull in the conversation follows, as everyone turns to stare at Coulson. Nobody is quite sure what to say. “Did you ever get your cards back from Fury?” Steve asks, and then winces, because that’s probably the wrong question to ask.

But Coulson smiles. “Yeah I did, actually.” And then he pouts. “But he got blood all over them.”

Strangely, that makes Tony laugh, albeit kind of hysterically. “I am so glad you’re not dead.”

“I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

Tony walks over and claps a hand on Coulson’s shoulder. “I never thought I’d get the chance.”

Seeming to have recovered slightly, Clint jumps up from his crouch. “Alright, you’ve got some serious explaining to do. Like why I haven’t seen you _at all_ even though I’m technically a high-up S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. We’re going drinking. All of you.” He points ominously around the room, stopping on Tony. “Your treat.”

Tony sighs. “Yes, yes, my treat. I’ll give you a card.”

“A card? No, you’re coming.”

“If I go, Loki’s going to come too,” Tony warns, hoping that would be a bit too much for Clint so he’ll leave him in peace.

The archer makes a pinched sort of expression, but then sighs dramatically. “I can live with it… You’ve been MIA for weeks. I’ll sacrifice my peace of mind. Coulson’s pretty much destroyed it anyways.”

Well, when he puts it like that… Tony still doesn’t want to go. Quite frankly, he’s exhausted. Loki even more so. They’re barely holding the shock at bay, functioning properly because they have to. Their reunion at the hospital was too brief, there’s still a lot lingering fear, and that desperately needs to be addressed. As much as Tony would love to go out with his team, as much as he’s relieved that Clint even invited them, Tony really needs to be alone with Loki. He’s holding on by a thread. But he really doesn’t want to upset Clint, so he does the most sensible thing.

He looks at Natasha pleadingly, and of course, being Natasha, she understands immediately.

“We’ll go down first, you guys can catch up.” Tony nods gratefully.

Natasha leads everyone into the elevator, but Coulson pauses. “For the time being, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt,” he says to Loki. “I don’t think you’ve cleaned up your act, and I don’t think you will. But as long as you leave Midgard alone, I don’t particularly care. One wrong move on your part, though, and I will find a way to kill you, god or not.” And then he’s gone, finally leaving Tony and Loki alone.

“I like him.”

Tony snorts. Of course Loki would like Coulson. Tony scrubs at his face, his exhaustion suddenly more acute. He’d felt great when Loki had first healed him, but apparently that’s faded. Tony walks over to Loki and offers his hand. “Come on. I’m about to fall to pieces and I’d rather do it in the comfort of my own bed.”

“Our bed.”

“Yeah, our bed.” Loki smiles and lets Tony help him up. He’s still unsteady on his feet, so the short walk takes longer than it should have. Once they reach their room—and it’s still so strange to call it that—they wordlessly strip down, removing every barrier between them, and crawl into bed.

They’re too exhausted to do much of anything, and so they just hold each other. Well, Tony gets held, his back pressed to Loki’s chest and the god’s cool breath in his ear. Of the two of them, Loki is worse off, mentally. The whole almost dying thing is nothing new for Tony. That’s not to say that Tony is okay in any way. Loki’s screams are still echoing around in his mind, and he still feels the abrupt pain of being alone. It shouldn’t bother him as much as it does, the loneliness. He’s spent his entire life alone. At the point when Loki had been cut from him, he’d really only had him in his mind for a couple hours, but the god had just slid into place as if he’d always belonged there. Tony never wants to feel his absence again.

As if in response to his thoughts, Loki tightens his hold on Tony. In return, Tony reaches for the connection to Loki’s mind, strengthening it and letting all of his emotions bleed through.

****

Loki clutches Tony to him even as the human strengthens their mental bond. He barely has a second to consider the amazing amount of mental control Tony has before powerful emotions punch through and demand Loki’s full attention. The fading ache of loneliness slams into him, along with a powerful longing, a need for Loki’s mind that the god never thought he’d experience, and fear, the ever present fear. Loki does his best to soothe Tony, but his own careful control slips.

He begins to shake, the events of the day catching up to him in the worst way possible. Loki does not want Tony to know what he suffered or how it felt, but the fear and the pain slip through anyways, followed by the emptiness. Tony flinches, beginning to shudder in Loki’s hold, but his mind clings closer to Loki’s, stubbornly taking hold of Loki’s emotions and doing his best to erase them. It is a long process.

Both Tony and Loki silently battle each other’s fears, attempting to purge their minds from the taint. At some point, Tony turned so he could face Loki, and they hadn’t looked away from each other’s eyes since. Hours later, they finally find relief. The fear lingers, as it always will, but the pain of being ripped from each other’s mind is gone.

Tony exhales, the noise almost too loud after the silence. His eyelids are beginning to droop shut, but Loki knows he will not sleep yet. The god reaches out a shaky hand to wipe away the tears that had fallen from Tony’s eyes. This event should never be allowed to happen again. “You are far too mortal,” Loki whispers softly.

Tony huffs a laugh. “There’s not much I can do about that.” Tony reaches up and swipes a thumb along Loki’s face, wiping away the tears Loki had not realized he had shed.

“There is, perhaps, something _I_ can do about that.” He wouldd have to speak with Thor, but for Tony, Loki will do it. He knows Tony can feel the determination through the bond. Loki can feel Tony’s curiosity and what would be excitement if the human was not so thoroughly exhausted.

“Want me to stick around, huh?”

“You are vitally important to me,” Loki whispers, his voice loving and reverent and definite all in one. “Would that I never be parted from you.”

Tony inhales sharply, and then his hands are twisted in Loki’s hair, and his lips are on the god’s. Loki kisses him back, desperately yet achingly sweet in his approach. When they finally break apart, Tony does not move back. He presses their foreheads together as Loki moves his hand to gently cup Tony’s cheek. “I don’t ever want to leave you either,” Tony mumbles, eyes falling closed again. He is then quiet for so long that Loki thinks he may have fallen asleep, but then Tony speaks again. “So, are we married?”

The question surprises a chuckle out of Loki. “No, not quite.”

“Hmm… We should take care of that.”

Loki’s breath leaves him in a rush as he struggles to control his emotions. Tony’s eyes are open again, and he’s watching Loki with something quite like hope in his eyes. “Is this a proposal?” Loki asks in what he hopes is a calm voice.

“Uh, yeah. A kind of shitty one, actually, so I’m going to try again.” He takes a deep breath. “Loki, you said that I have everything you are, and I plan on keeping it. We’re in this for the long run, so marry me, let me make you mine in every way possible.” A smidge of nervousness leaks through the bond. “Unless you don’t want to,” Tony adds hurriedly.

Loki wonders how a man so cocky and confident in everything he does can be so absurdly nervous around _Loki_ of all beings. It warms something in him. “I am yours,” he states simply.

“Is that a yes?”

“It is.”

An enormous smile spreads across Tony’s face. Loki admires the pure brilliance of it, because Tony really is such a bright creature. Tony is fire and heat. People are drawn to him and the foolish ones are burned, if only because in the face of Tony’s overwhelming light they forget the danger that fire can pose. Loki is darkness, cool and glittering, equally dangerous. Perhaps even complimentary to Tony’s fire. He imagines the bright fire of Tony’s star engulfed in Loki’s night, cooled by his presence even as he becomes warmed. It is a soothing thought.

The events of the day finally take their toll on the human, and Tony falls asleep in Loki’s arms, radiating contentment. A while later, Loki too finds the respite of sleep.

Tomorrow, there will be problems to solve, team members to soothe, and directors to blackmail. But that is tomorrow, and this is today. And for today, Loki is finally content.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the end! Thank you to everyone who's read this! You've all made my first attempt at Frostiron a big success, so thank you! Many thanks to everyone who's left a comment, especially those who've kept going for pretty much each chapter. You know who you are, and I love you guys!
> 
> IMPORTANT: I have decided that "This is Gospel" will actually be the first in a 3 part series, so if any questions weren't answered yet, they will be! I am going to Europe for a month and a bit, but I'll start posting again as soon as I get back!!
> 
> ♥


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